What a treat your church has given you! They will certainly receive blessings as a result of your learning experiences.

I've had a couple of bad experiences with church (one Baptist, one not) and have not attended worship in about five years. Lately, I've longed for worshipful music. A good sermon will be great, too, but I miss quality music. Maybe you've inspired me to be adventurous, as well.

I look forward to your remaining posts, even if they all reflect your experience(s) at Saint Anthony's.

Go to a nice Conservative Synagogue, perhaps? I am also a fan of a by-the-books Novus Ordo Catholic mass; not sure the flavor of Catholicism in your area. That one is somewhat hit and miss; some are beautiful and some are about as natural as pulling teeth. And if there's something Taize in your area, that's nice, too.

I was raised Catholic; left after the Vatican II Council of 1962-65. To me, that session compromised some of the beauty and mystery of the faith. A dumbing down of sorts, in order to be in the contemporary vernacular, to be more palatable to the masses. After dropping out, I drifted away from anything spiritual, then got into New Age gobbledegook. Then God led me to Orthodoxy. Oh MY! I was baptized and chrismated in 1988. Christ's Church began on earth at the first Pentecost and over the millennia has remained true to its Origin and Tradition. And it's being celebrated this coming Sunday! God be with you as you journey. Thank you for the postings RE: your visits to St Anthony the Great Church. It only gets better, MUCH better; you'll see. May He grant you many years!

Did you ever make it to a Jewish worship service in your lifetime? Maybe with your old rabbi friend?

just curious.

Hey there,
Hello from a longtime Baptist (sometime preacher's son) who converted to Orthodoxy back in 2002. I don't know the San Antonio area well at all, but you might consider visiting another Orthodox parish, too -- many do in fact hold pews and do have some sitting time. I realize that for us old school legalistic types (well, okay, I don't know you, but that's the kind of Baptist I was raised to be) the lack of pews seems amazingly holy, but it's really okay to use them, especially if it helps your family. : )
Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. By the way, one of the best resources for understanding the service (and Orthodoxy as a whole) much better is to listen to some very well-done podcasts by Deacon Michael Hyatt (also president/CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers) titled "At the Intersection of East and West." Check them out at: http://ancientfaith.com/podcasts/eastwest . The one on "10 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Visiting an Orthodox Church" is especially informative for someone just starting to acquaint himself.

God Bless,
Joel Thomas

The perspective you give to a new-comer into our holy services is quite refreshing! It is easy for this ex-Roman Catholic, adult-evangelical convert, then Methodist minister, and now 10 years-as-Orthodox-priest to forget your perspective. This helps me to re-focus my way of explaining the simple, beautiful elements of our Orthodox worship.
I do hope you stay your sabbatical there at St Anthony's, if only to provide yet more of such perspective.
One question: are they chanting in the "Byzantine" fashion, or "slavonic"? Or, do you know that yet?!

Thank you for sharing, very interesting!

I wouldn't hang out there at the Orthodox Church any more unless you're planning on converting. Use your sabbattical to get as much variety as possible. Go to a Pentecostal or charismatic church. Try to find a black church. You will be richer for the experience and will become a better pastor to your congregation.

I've also found myself thinking, "Why couldn't this by MY church?" What if I got to know the people a little bit and attended when I could. Sort of a spiritual refuge for me? Kind of the opposite of my own church, where I always know exactly what is happening because I planned most of it. The idea of being surprised and not understanding and learning...that seems nice to me right now.

But then, that's planning. And I'm not doing that. Still, it's hard not to wonder...

Going out of town, I would suggest checking out other Orthodox churches. Perhaps visit one that is in a mission status, as opposed to a well-established parish like St. Anthony the Great. So you can get an idea of what it is like in large and small parishes. I go to St. Nicholas in DC, which is a cathedral and has two services, one English and one Church Slavonic. And sometimes I visit Holy Cross in Catonsville, MD, which is a medium-sized parish and very active. Several priests have commented in here; I'm sure they can recommend parishes for you to visit during your business trips.

Have you ever gone on retreat to a Cistercian monastery? There are many of them. I would recommend Mepkin Abbey in South Carolina, if you have the chance. They have, as far as I know, the most inclusive retreat program available from Cistercians. Their website is www.mepkinabbey.org. You want to worship? Try waking at 3:00 am to do it. :-)

I am a new convert to Orthodoxy and "got my foot in the door" by attending a Saturday night Vespers service. That service is shorter and has different prayers and chants and songs than the Divine Liturgy. There is no Eucharist or communion served during vespers. It has a whole different "feel" to it.

I have found reading your experiences on sabbatical very inspiring (I especially love the scissors/paper cutting story--can really relate to that)

I think everyone needs a spirit-seeking time like this, if for no other reason than to see our everyday with new eyes when we return. Been thinking a lot about this lately: why do we need to step away periodically to feel that deep soul-kiss during worship? I think God likes to see us out there, rubbing shoulders with diverse peoples and opening our minds in new ways.

Can't wait to see where the Spirit leads next week.

Why should you have to intend to convert in order to visit Saint Anthony the Great again?

You wrote: "I took my candle down front and prayed that I would be open to hearing from the Spirit of God during worship."

If you're yearning to go back maybe that is just Who you are hearing from.

There are, though, (I think) at least four other Orthodox parishes in San Antonio (or nearby) in addition to the Orthodox Church in America's (Russian in origin) Saint Anthony the Great, which you have visited.

1) I think you'd be GREATLY delighted to meet Fr. Dan Suciu at St. Sophia Greek Orthodox Church, 2504 N Saint Marys St., San Antonio, TX 78212; (210) 735-5051; www.stsophia.tx.goarch.org. And the church is a sight to see.

2) There is a sister parish to my own St. Barnabas in Southern California: St. Ephraim the Syrian Antiochian Orthodox Church ("They were first called Christians in Antioch"), 3101 Vance Jackson Rd., San Antonio, TX 78213; 210-558-4554; http://www.saintephraim.com

3) There's St. George Indian Orthodox Church, San Antonio, 731 Rice Rd, San Antonio, TX 78220; (210) 573-8856.

4) And about 20 minutes from San Antonio, there is St Antony the Great Coptic Orthodox Church and retreat center, 153 W Borgfeld Rd., Cibolo, TX 78108; (830) 980-3433; http://www.stantonychurch.org.

You could visit these congregations and get a taste of more "flavors" of Orthodoxy (Byzantine chant vs. Slavonic chant, for example, as someone mentioned).

With the Coptic Church and Indian Church, there are some doctrinal issues as well but they will not be very apparent in the worship. They are two of six Oriental (non-Chalcedonian) Orthodox Churches holding to only the first three Ecumenical Councils, rather than the Seven Ecumenical Councils as the Eastern Orthodox Churches do.

The Orthodox Church is the second largest Christian Communion worldwide. Why not spend more than two Sundays getting to know it better?

The light of Christ!!

Thanks be to God...! (I could hear that sung in my head, reading about the candles. :)

Go as your heart leads you--a sabbatical at a Greek Orthodox church could be enlightening. You have a gift for finding the blessing, from your writings here.

I am a convert to Orthodoxy from a Southern Baptist upbringing, so I found your posts to be delightful and a great reminder of how it feels to experience the Divine Liturgy the first time. I agree with the poster who recommended Great Vespers on Saturday evenings, if you find yourself drawn back there. Vespers is a service built around the Psalms and prayers. Very beautiful. It is actually the first service of the day, so you will hear the prayers and hymns that anticipate the following morning.

Sorry Pastor, but it appears you've been Clementized :D

My first experience in an Eastern Orthodox Church was nearly a year ago now...I've never returned to my Shul or my husband's Baptist church...

I'm so glad you are taking this time to just be and worship in the presence of our King and God :)

Blessings and Peace be with you :)

Am I correct in my remembering that the Eastern Orthodox church does not believe in substitutional atonement? If I am correct, perhaps someone could explain the theology behind it?

Thanks.

I would recommend that you keep visiting, it takes way more than two Sundays to understand and absorb everything that happens during the Divine Liturgy. Like we say, it's a life-long journey.

It's really too bad that the Lenten season is over or you could experience the Liturgy of the Pre-sanctified Gifts.

Yes, I'm actually looking forward to Lent. Call me crazy :)

Orthodox convert here. Like others, thanks for making me remember my first experiences. It can be overwhelming, but it is also strangely peaceful. As someone else mentioned, attend Vespers, and also Matins. While the Divine Liturgy, with the consecration of the Body and Blood of Christ and the Eucharist, are the center of worship, the daily devotional prayers of Vespers and Matins (kept actually daily only in monasteries) are the exercise and discipline. Very different from the Liturgy, but I find them just as rewarding.

In Christ,
Christopher

Thanks for posting these. I'm having a similar experience. Walked through the door the first time on a Wed evening alone, back in December 2008, and been going back ever since. Inquirer's class (Attend a couple of these, even if you spend the sunday mornings elsewhere), Wed night, Sat night.. and in some weeks, every evening of the week. That's one good thing about the Church, plenty of services.

Anyway, I'm also retaking a college freshman Eng. class, and here's one essay I wrote for it:

Forgiveness Vespers – The day I “became” Orthodox

It’s about 6:15 PM, Sunday, May 1st, 2009. Entering St John’s through the side door to the downstairs portion as I usually do, I cross the length of the fellowship hall, over the small wooden “stage” (why are my shoes so loud tonight?), up the carpeted stairs on my left, and enter the nave from the open right rear door. Nervous and still with the feeling of being a tolerated stranger in someone else's house, I “cross” myself, three fingers and two, forehead, belly, right shoulder, left shoulder, and take my usual place, standing in the open area, at the right rear of the room, about 2 steps behind the last pew, but with enough room for people to get easily around me. I knew this service would be different, in five months, every service has been, but I had no idea, this evening would be the one that would result in my actually “becoming” Orthodox.
If a person were standing next to me, he might notice a few things which, for the Mid-south, are a bit “different”. All but the elderly and infirm are standing, all the time. There are kids in the service, not just teens and pre-teens, but babies and infants. Pictures (called “Icons” or “Ikons”) are painted everywhere on the walls, in two levels. Individual Saints are painted on the bottom, and group scenes on top. There’s a HUGE icon of Jesus at the very top, center of the room, looking down on everyone. Mary with the young child Jesus is painted at the top of the area that was once the choir loft, back when this building was a Presbyterian Church. There is a wall standing on what could be called the stage, separating the first level where in many churches the pulpit would be, from the former choir loft. This wall is again decorated with 6 big icons (Jesus, Mary, John the Baptist, St John the evangelist, the angels Gabriel and Michael), and a pair small doors which have more icons on them.
The priests begin the service in simple black cassocks, gradually adding layers, such that at the end of the service they are in full resplendent vestments. Burning incense is carried around the room, there is no piano, no organ, or any instrument other than the human voice. Hymnals are not visible and the music sounds almost Middle Eastern. This isn’t the Southern Baptist Church I grew up in, but neither is it Roman Catholic.
The service proceeds in what seems to be a “normal” way for any evening vespers service, but with an air of expectancy which at least to me seems more tangible than even the incense. At what would normally be the end vespers, the main priest (this parish has 3 active and one retired priest) comes to the front of the stage and gives some instructions, especially for us newbie’s, then it begins.
The main priest is standing, at the front of the room, on the same level as everyone else, facing the congregation. One of the other priests comes before him and bows deeply. I cannot hear them from the back of the room, but the exchange is something very close to this. [Bowing priest] “Father Troy, forgive me a sinner”. [Father Troy] “God forgives you and so do I”. At this point, without any foot movement, the main priest then bows to his subordinate and says to the subordinate “Father Nicholas, forgive me a sinner” to which the younger priest replies “God forgives you, and so do I”.
This exchange completed, the younger man, takes one step to the right, one step forward, and turns around to face the people. Forming a single file from the front, going to the back of the church (actually with people from the pews filling in as the line gets to them), the 2nd person in this line, now approaches the older priest, Father Troy, and the same exchange takes place. When each has asked for, and given forgiveness to one another, this 2nd person takes one step to the right. He is now in front of the younger priest, and the process is repeated between these two. At the same time, the 3rd person in line has begun the same exchange with Father Troy. The whole process is lead by the priests, then deacons, then choir and moving down to the rest of the members and visitors who wish to participate.
Each time an exchange is completed, the person in line moves to the right, and eventually takes his place, facing the rest of the room. This outer line begins to extend across the front, to the right hand wall, down it to the rear of the space and across the back. In this way, eventually every single participating person, has stood before, asked for, and been asked for forgiveness. Remember when I said that even young children were in the service? Yes, even they took part. If someone does not know another person’s name, that’s fine, just leave the name out and say “Forgive me a sinner”
Consider now for a moment, the church you now, or have in the past attended. Is there one or more people there, you’d rather not even sit within 4 tables of, if you happened to be at the same Bonanza restaurant on a Saturday night because of some tiff or perceived wrong done to you? Perhaps you happen to know that Billy Bob over there is not living the way he should, and he calls himself a Christian, harrumph. If you came toe to toe and face to face with this person, could you with a proper heart bow before him, and say “Billy, forgive me a sinner”? If he bowed before you and asked that question, could you honestly say “God forgives you, and so do I”?
Another encounter to ponder: halfway around the room, you are face to face with the very picture of innocence, a freckled, red headed 7 year old. With big eyes, and angelic voice, she looks up and says “Forgive me a sinner”. What sin could this child have actually committed, save having stayed up too late or maybe putting gum in someone’s hair at school? It is at this point that I realized why every window sill had boxes of tissues, and I availed myself of them without care of what others thought.
At 42 years of age, and having been around the block once or twice, I had things for which I should seek forgiveness which hopefully this child will never experience. To have innocence itself tell me “God forgives you, and so do I”, and not just from this one child but several, to hear that same phrase from grey haired men, middle aged women, embarrassed pimple faced teenagers, doctors, lawyers, housewives and more. To be told, not once, not ten times, but at least 100 or more times, in quick succession that if the question I am asking, for forgiveness, is a true desire, that I am forgiven, by God who knows everything I have ever done or thought, as well as by elders, adults and children who are accepting me, as I stand before them, took my carefully forged heart of brass and simply melted it.
This congregation wide exhibit of humility, in a society where we bow to no man, to witness over 100 people, of all ages, educations, races and social positions bowing before everyone else, almost put me completely to my knees. Priests bowing before children, deacons bowing before visitors they don’t even know, children not being told to be humble, but being shown by their parents –how- to be humble, began to wash away all those decades of church as theater and entertainment. Then there came the realization that this isn’t some gimmick that the pastor at the church of the moment came up with, or pulled from a web site. This service occurs once a year, every year, at every single Eastern Orthodox Church in the world. This service has occurred once a year, every year, in every church, for at least 1000 years and possibly much longer than that.
True humility, felt, shown, taught and passed to the next generation. Tears shed, brotherly embraces, forgiveness sought and given. This is the moment, if there is a single moment, when this hellfire and brimstone Southern Baptist deacon’s son “became” Orthodox. Oh, I’m not formally enrolled as a catechumen, much less chrismated into the Church, but after 4 months of attending services mostly from curiosity, after this service, I changed somewhere inside. I am still not fully comfortable much the time. I don’t do all the “Orthodox” things, but I do consider myself at least a little bit Orthodox, or perhaps it is better to think that I’m on the service road, I see the onramp, and have my blinker on, saying to anyone who can see me, “I’m going over there”

Gordon, it is interesting to me that in your writing you sound relaxed. I'm not sure if I can explain it, but since you've been on sabbatical I can increasingly hear a more relaxed you through your essays. At the risk of spiritualizing here it does indeed sound like you've encountered God in fresh ways and have been led by the Holy Spirit. I am very happy for you.

I wonder if some of your experiences with other churches (particularly St. Anthony's) might feel threatening to the folks at Covenant. I sure hope this is not the case because I suspect that when they get you back you are going to be a much better you and this will be good for them too.

Peace on the journey, brother.

"Sort of a spiritual refuge for me?"

I've enjoyed your open-hearted approach to visiting an Orthodox Church and was taken by the quote above. For many Orthodox Christians the monasteries provide just such a "spiritual refuge" in the sense it is not a permanent place of habitation, but a refuge from the tremendous number of distractions that assail us on a daily basis in "the world". We insert ourselves for a few days into the monastic cycle of services to clean out the spiritual cobwebs and return to our daily lives once again reoriented to the "one thing needful."

Pastor Atkinson, I'm really enjoying your writing. Thank you.

I've enjoyed your posts on your trip to St. Anthony's Church. Thank you for them. I'm a convert to Orthodoxy on the way to seminary, and recall vividly my first Orthodox Liturgy, the commemoration of the Third Finding of the Head of St. John the Baptist (of all things!). I hope that the rest of your sabbatical is restful and enjoyable.

Thanks everyone. Wow, what an amazing and overwhelming response.

Pastor Atkinson, may I thank and compliment you on your very candid, thoughtful, and open-minded rendition of your experiences with traditional Christian worship. My experiences are much the same as yours: It isn't meant to be easy; if we often go through great efforts to please our girl/boyfriends and spouses (taking them to the movies, theatres, concerts, expensive restaurants etc.) why should we not do the same for the Almighty?

I am a Catholic and converted last year from a Lutheran background. I did not actually convert because of the Catholic liturgy but because of the Catholic faith, but I have since grown very fond of the traditional mode of Western Catholic worship, the Traditional Latin Mass. This also employs tranquilizing chant and profound prayers, in the main taken from Holy Scripture, that have their roots in the ancient Church. It is also not as long as an Eastern Divine Liturgy, taking about an hour. I can see that you live in San Antonio; there is a Latin Mass in the church of St. Pius X every Sunday at 12:00. It is located on 3909 Harry Wurzbach Hwy. and the website is here: http://www.stpiusx.cc/church.html

You may not be aware of it, but in addition to the majority "Roman" or Western Catholics, there are also Catholics of Eastern tradition who employ the same Divine Liturgy as the Orthodox. They are autonomous and have their own Patriarchs and Bishops, but recognize the Patriarch of Rome (the Pope) as head. In San Antonio, there is a Maronite (Syriac) church on Babcock Rd. with Divine Liturgy Sundays at 8:00 and 11:00 (their website is http://www.stgeorgesa.org/) Their liturgical language is West Syriac, a dialect of Aramaic, which as you know is the language spoken by Our Lord.

I wish you many blessings from on high in your further walk with the Lord. You are in my prayers.

I'm sorry, Mr. Atkinson, but our priest posted your first experience at St. Anthony's on his Wisdom Group postings last week, so it was probably sent to him by someone in San Antonio. (Note--the same saint's name in two languages) So, your essay got out to a lot of people before you removed it. Very wonderful, humorous, descriptive writing. It reminded me of my first experience of Orthodoxy--the Vigil for Pentecost, which happens to fall tonight. Our priest followed the most traditional customs, and that vigil was three hours long. And I wore high heels. And I stood the whole time. And by the end, I was crossing myself, and singing, "Lord have mercy." with the choir. I kept coming back and I became Orthodox 13 years ago. A favorite book of mine is by Matthew Gallatin, Thirsting for God in a Land of Shallow Wells. It hits all the major theological issues and presuppositions which have shaped our modern Christianity. A very quick read, too. God bless you and your family.

You have a very compelling style in your writing. I enjoyed your comments in both posts very much. Another easy book or two you might enjoy. " Becoming Orthodox" by Peter Gillquist and "Facing East" by Frederica Matthews-Green.

A caution though. The pearl of great price has costs involved. It is so worth it but to obtain there are other things that must be sold.

Gordon,

Great article. Try going to a Catholic Church. I know, I know, Blasphemy! Papists! LOL. Seriously though, think about it. The Catholic Church has about 22 different rites. What does this mean? It means that many there are 22 different ways of celebrating Mass/Divine Liturgy. The apostles went throughout the world establishing diffent Churches. The places where they left there mark, the cultures, influenced the liturgy. So, try a Mass in the extraordinary form (tridentinee), novus order (the modern mass), Ruthenian, Maronite, Melkite, etc. Every other right besides the Roman has greek influence and is almost EXACTLY like an Orthodox liturgy except theologically they are in communion with the POPE.

And as with others they have resonated much with me. The thing that drew us to Orthodoxy initially was the sense of history and tradition. Between the two of us we'd been part of a conservative Baptist church, a Christian & Missionary Alliance church, a Reformed church, a Vineyard church, a Foursquare church, Dutch Sheets' church and (more recently) an independent Charismatic church with absolutely no ties or accoutability to any other body of believers. *WHEW*

And in all those denominations we'd never heard anything about church history beyond an allusion to the Reformation straightening everything out. When I read Peter Gillquist's book, Becoming Orthodox, mentioned above, I finally realized -- WOW. There's a bigger story out there. Our family then read out loud another of the books mentioned above (Matthew Gallatin's "Thirsting for God in a Land of Shallow Wells") and we made the decision to attend our local Orthodox mission church; there are about 15-25 people involved and the ties are to an established church that's about 45 minutes away (one that's much like St Anthony's I presume -- in fact you might see if St Anthony's has a mission church itself and try and visit there too). We've been attending there for 3-4 months now.

It will be fun to see what you choose to do with your remaining Sundays. IF for some reason you don't return to St Anthony's during your sabbatical, please try to make a point to be there next Pascha ("Easter" -- and it will likely be on a different day than your church's Easter so maybe you could make it?) for the midnight service. Oh. My.

We enjoyed our first Pascha service in April and it was amazing. So, so beautiful and celebratory! My husband, seven children and I are planning to become catechumens soon, looking forward to the day of our baptism into the church.

God grant you many years!

A former Baptist now exploring Orthodoxy (not quite a catechumen yet, but almost) here. :)

I loved your two posts, they so resonated with me and my experiences at liturgy. I hope you enjoyed Pentecost today (this was the first time I've celebrated Pentecost EVER in my whole 20-some odd years of church), I certainly did. I'm sad you just missed Pascha and all the Holy Week services. If you ever get a chance to borrow a Holy Week hymnal, you should, the hymns are unbelievable.

I also enjoyed reading your "about me"/Pastoral journey (the part with the four stages of your journey--thus far), I also resonated with it, and kept thinking as I read it "Orthodoxy answered THIS for me, fleshed THAT out for me, oh, I hope he keeps going to Church."

Also, I highly recommend this blog: fatherstephen.wordpress.com I love it so much, I've even started going back through his archives. He did a series earlier this year on Scripture that is worth looking at, as well as the foundational post of his "One-Storey Universe" (it's one of the links on the right side on the home page).

I pray that these first experiences of Orthodoxy will not be your last. It's the most beautiful, the most true thing I've ever encountered.

Cheryl

I am a former Protestant minister. I was raised Southern Baptist and graduated from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Although I was a pastor in a couple of other denominations, I was Baptist at heart. But, when I discovered the ancient Faith, the Faith of the Apostles, the Church founded by Christ -- nothing else would do. From the worship, to the doctrine, to the development of true disciples, to the authority held by the one, holy, catholic and apostolic chruch -- the Orthodox Church has no equal. Check out this article by one of my fellow Southeastern students, who actually converted before he finished seminary. His name is Dr. Clark Carlton. Here is the link: http://orthodoxinfo.com/inquirers/tca_carltonfirstbaptist.aspx

Gordon, thanks for these fascinating essays. I write as a Catholic happily at home in a parish that celebrates liturgy according to both the ancient and more recent usages -- in both cases with ceremony, dignity, and reverent decorum of the sort that's become very uncommon in the past 40 years. If you have the ability during your sabbatical to witness a Solemn High Mass according to the "Extraordinary Form" -- frequently referred to as the "Tridentine" Rite -- you really ought to make the effort (and it will probably require some effort, as that form of the mass is still very difficult to locate). In its own way you might find it every bit as challenging and transcendent as what you've experienced in the Orthodox world.

Your blog is no place to enter into debate about atonement and original sin, but in all fairness I must call your attention to the critical question of ecclesiology and how authority is exercised. Catholics and the Orthodox (well, most of them) share a great mutual respect and increasing affection, including acknowledging the authenticity of each other's sacraments and dignity as successors of the apostles. We do differ about the ministry of the Roman pontiff, the bishop of Rome and recognized successor of Peter. Not that such a ministry exists and is unique, but in what it consists of and how it's to be exercised. Again, this is not the place to debate, but only to point out that the Bishop of Rome makes certain claims for himself. These claims are accepted in whole by Catholics, but partially with qualifications and in varying degrees by the Orthodox. I am confident that in the fullness of time the Holy Spirit will lead us to full reconciliation and communion, but even now you'd be hard pressed to find an Orthodox priest, bishop, or theologian willing to declare that the Pope is irrelevant and of no concern to the Orthodox world.

I mention this not to stir up dissension or disrupt your wonderful blog, but only to invite you to continue your journey of faith knowing that anyone joined to an Orthodox church is also joined in a certain way to Rome, even if he rarely considers it. You are a thoughtful and perceptive man, so I know you will not neglect this critical fact and what it may imply about the path you take. I pray that the Holy Spirit may enlighten your heart and that the great Mother of God and of the Church will intercede for you in her prayers as I trust she prays for me and other poor sinners.

Christ is in our midst!

Pastor, i have enjoyed reading your blog. I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to work through your heart. I love the Baptist churches; they saved my life years ago when i was facing devastatingly painful divorce after the birth of my first child. After conversion to the Baptist doctrine from Methodism, i found emotional and spiritual support like i had never known. Then after 20 something years i began feeling the need for spiritual renewal. That's when i found the Orthodox Church, where i have been on a spiritual journey for the past 2 1/2 years.

There are wonderful Orthodox monasteries in the U.S., two here in Texas, where i would encourage you and your family to visit. You don't have to be Orthodox to visit a monastery, you just have to call ahead, and dress appropriately as described on their websites: www.HolyArchangels.org, and www.SaintParaskevi.org. These are the holiest places i have ever visited, even more than at Orthodox parishes. Holy Archangels, north of San Antonio, is a men's Greek monastery, and St. Paraskevi, near Brenham, is a women's Greek monastery.

Hope to see you and your family there sometime!

In Christ's love, Helen

I'll second the idea of Holy Archangels Monastery,however, be prepared to not understand anything unless you really know your Greek, seeing as how the whole service is in Greek. I cannot say anything about St Paraskevi since I have never been there, but I have been to St Anthony's, St Ephram's and St Sophia's. The parish experience and the monastery experience are significantly different that it would probably be worthwhile to check out one of the monasteries if you want to see a different side of Orthodoxy.

The comments concerning Orthodox Judaism are interesting. After you have been to an Orthodox Christian service, the Jewish roots of our Church become very clear.

As a convert from Evangelicalism, I am always pleased to see Protestants finding the richness of Orthodoxy. Of course I want people to convert, but even more so, I want people to know that who we are. Feel free to email me if you have questions.

In Christ,
The unworthy Deacon Nathan

Pastor,
Any negative reaction from your congregation's leadership or members to your openness to and positive comments about Orthodoxy?

You SO get it!

Your post on your first Orthodox service (Not for Lightweights) was an absolute delight to read, particularly for those of us who have had a similar experience in finding the Orthodox church from an evangelical background.

Sometimes a first-time experience just absolutely captures the spirit of something perfectly. You wrote one of the best single-sentence descriptions of Orthodox worship I have ever read: "It was like they were ripping raw chunks of theology out of ancient creeds and throwing them by the handfuls into the congregation." Wow! I read that one over at least six times.

Let me apologize in advance on behalf of other over-zealous Orthordox who may be smothering you with attention. You have to understand how exciting it is to see the light of recognition in someone's eyes when they intuitively grasp the reality of something they have never encountered, and yet are in many ways fully prepared to recognize.

May God richly bless you in your search for truth.

Please come and see Our Lady of the Atonement Church in San Antonio. Anglican Liturgy in full communion with Rome. Lots of folks there who have been where you are now including the pastor. The Liturgy brings heaven to earth.

I do apologize for my poor English, but after reading so many delightful comments I feel like warning you against false expectations for Orthodoxy. I live in so called 'orthodox country' and I can see a dark side of this cult.

Let me tell you some Russian joke. A conductor in a long-distance train works his way through the sleeping car. He drops in the first compartment and asks: 'Are there any foreigners?'. 'No foreigners' - they reply to him. Then he asks the same question in the second compartment and gets the same answer. And then in the third, fourth and so on. So he asked all the compartments of his car and at the end he cries out to his counterpart: 'There is no foreigners at all here! Switch off air conditioning!'

This mournful joke is about some kind of our national hypocrisy developed by Orthodoxy as well. Our own people must endure stuffy air and all other inconveniences. But to strangers we will be splendid, marvelous and hospitable.
I guess the Orthodoxy you have become acquainted with in America is the Orthodoxy with air conditioning, a special edition of Orthodoxy for foreigners. The real Orthodoxy is quite different.

Dear sir,
I wanted to thank you for your post. I read both of them and they brought tears to my eyes. My wife and I are former protestants and we approaching, quickly, our baptism date. You reaffirmed for me, in your post, just how much the Holy Spirit does impact one during the Divine Liturgy. You understood things, like standing, from your first service. We stand because we are asked to love God with all our heart, all soul, all our minds and all our strength too. I was very much impressed by how you loved our services so much. I receive so much animosity from protestants in regards to my conversion.
You should attend the Saturday night Vespers, my father-in-law loves it. He is not Orthodox, but Saturday nights at my church are one of the highlights of his week.

One word of truth outweighs the whole world.

Remember us in your holy prayers, as you will be in our unworthy ones.

". . . anyone joined to an Orthodox church is also joined in a certain way to Rome, even if he rarely considers it."

Most Orthodox would only agree with this insofar as we are joined in some way because of the presence in both churches of an adherence to some extent to Holy Tradition. Each church, the Orthodox and the Roman Catholic, considers itself to be the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church from the Nicene Creed. This means that the other is outside the Church (that is the way the matter has always been understood, at least, before the modern age). I won't get into the arguments for either side's position but I will say that this dogma is probably more strongly felt now in the Orthodox world than it is in the Roman Catholic world. This does not mean that other Christians cannot be saved, however. A favorite example from the Fathers is the saying that, "there are wolves within and sheep without." However, Roman Catholicism does seem to see its church as the center of the Christian universe. Orthodoxy also sees itself as the locus of the Church.

In short, we might very well say that Rome is joined to us in a certain way, even if many Roman Catholics do not often ponder it. But this joining, of course, is not in communion. Each, to some extent, see the other as an errant daughter gone astray. However, this attitude of each church is resented, when expressed, by the faithful of the other. Unfortunately, it is a sort of doctrinal zero-sum. Splitting the diffence and compromising on Papal Infallibility or Conciliarity or the Filioque or the Immaculate Conception would be almost impossible for either church. Any union that would result would not be plausible at all to those honest souls knowledgeable about the theology of either. In effect, a third hybrid church, not enjoying catholicity/universality by the standards of either church, would result.

What all this means is that any union in the future, unless it is a defection of some subgroup from one church to the other, would take a very long time to develop. It would be the result of one church gradually changing its theology/ecclessiology into that of the other over a number of generations or hundreds of years.