You have got the right seed.

God save you!

You write: "First, If I were to become Orthodox, I wouldn’t be able to remain a child like this. I would have the responsibility to learn my tradition and serve in some capacity. You can’t always remain a child in the sense of letting others carry theological meaning. You have to grow up in this way eventually. I sense that this gift of complete childlike surrender is appropriate for me in this sabbatical season."

It is joyous that you are experiencing and loving Holy Orthodoxy - I converted 9 years ago because I knew the Orthodox Church is the fullness of the Christian Faith. I have learned so much these nine years and it would take ten lifetimes to learn and absorb all that the Ancient Faith of Jesus Christ could teach me... After nine years I am still a babe in the Christian Faith. Yet, I serve on the Parish Council of my Church, sing in the choir and bake Prosphora and get to participate in missions. What is required of me is not to be a theologian (one who prays is a Theologian in Orthodoxy), even though I pray; I am not called to the priesthood (I am a woman) but I am called to serve. It is not my job to teach the Faith - though I am called to understand what I believe and be able to defend it unto my death if required. It is my job to be childlike in my faith in Jesus Christ - to know with THAT certainty that children possess that my salvation is through Him.
So when you return from you sabbatical I pray that you take Holy Orthodoxy with you and that you share with your brothers & sisters the fullness of what you experienced. You have been brought to Orthodoxy not by chance or accident but by the grace of God.
Perhaps you can live with half-measures (which is easy when you know no other way) but once the Truth is experienced and made manifest - well, I couldn't live without the fullness of Jesus Christ and His Bride on earth - the Orthodox Church.
Time will tell for you what our Lord and Savior has in store - may you be richly blessed as you journey along.
Glory to God for all things!
In Christ,
the handmaid Leah

Don't cut God's movement in you off ... He is obviously working in you . . . Christianity has a RICH RICH HISTORY.

Actually, there's scholarly debate whether there was a historical Saint Sophia. Me, I come down on the side of "there wasn't," because I think "Saint Sophia" is the creation of a bad translation.

I'm sure you still have enough koine Greek to remember that the word "άγιος" can be translated both as the titular "saint" and as the adjective "holy," so "αγία σοφία," IMO, is better translated as "Holy Wisdom." Which fits nicely with a few other odd "saints" like Santa Fe (the Holy Faith) and the Holy Comforter, an alias of the Holy Spirit (and nothing to do with quilted sacramental hangings).

Thanks for reporting on this, Gordon--what a perfect description of what can be found by visiting other denominations and practices. It can be seriously "outside the box", which is a great place for God to get one's attention. :)

I think one of the main reasons unprogrammed Quakerism hasn't been popular (and one of the reasons certain branches of Quakerism started hiring pastors in the mid-late 19th century) is that we seriously expect everyone who is a physical and mental adult to also be a spiritual adult. In most other churches, if you're not one of the few leaders of the congregation, you can if you want remain, well, not a child, but an adolescent of sorts. Whereas if you remain a spiritual adolescent in an unprogrammed Quaker meeting, you don't get much out of it (and the meeting doesn't get much out of having you).

Then again, it means that a small congregation of 20 can consider having their own building, because they don't have to help support a pastor.

Gordon, I can't begin to tell you how I've been moved by your comments about your various experiences with God during your sabbatical. God bless a loving congregation that saw a need and met it.

Your experience with Orthodoxy reminds me of the first time I experienced "high church" (Baptist style). I've been a Texas Baptist all my life and attended mostly small, rural churches with my parents. When I entered high school, my parents, my sister and I moved our membership to the "big" church in our town. It was the first time I remembered hearing a pipe organ, and I fell in love with the sound. (Former churches had Hammonds or Wurlitzers...not the same sound at all.) I still enjoy hearing "the king of instruments" being put through its paces!

As an adult, I was privileged to have sung in choirs directed by some fantastic musicians (vocal and instrumental) who introduced me to choral anthems. I soon felt that I had worshipped as soon as the anthem was sung. Having never been blessed with great preachers (great pastors, but not great preachers), I was more involved with God during singing than I was listening.

I've been out of church for the past five years, having served on staff at a small Baptist church and a small Disciples church. During these experiences, I saw the ugly underside of church -- small-minded people who give lots of money and expect things to be done their way.

I miss the music and the fellowship of church. I understand people using "those hypocrites up there" as an excuse for not attending, because all churches are made of humans. Your experiences with Orthodoxy remind me of my awakening to what worshipping God can actually be. Thank you, Gordon, for sharing your heart with us.

Dear Gordon,
I've read your article first translated in Bulgarian /on www.pravoslavie.bg/.
It is so wonderful that you shared on your blog the spiritual experience with the Orthodoxy, in such humble and sincere words that made me /born and raised in the Orthodoxy/, cry...
Your congregation is truly happy with a pastor like you.
There are many Americans who have found their way to the Orthodoxy through the spiritual leadership of such brave men with a sense of mission and brilliant preachers like Peter Gillquist, Alexander Schmeman,John Mayendorf, Kallistos Ware...May be you have read in the seminary something about the central believe in the Orthodoxy - about "theosis"- the deification of the human person, becoming a God-like, achieving a full communion with Christ...Here I find the deepness of the faith and the true meeting with God, once started and never ending...
Hope the encounters with the Orthodoxy will enrich you spiritually and you may find some meaning in the ancient rituals of the Orthodox Faith.
Regarding Saint Sophia, according to the orthodox tradition, Jesus himself is the Holy Wisdom of God, the Word of God. There was also in 3rd century Saint Sophia who was martyred for the Christian faith together with her three daughters: Faith, Hope and Love.

Christ be with you, your family and congregation!

Atanas
Sofia, Bulgaria

Gordon,

I was on vacation this Sunday and attended the local Episcopal church. I'm a Presbyterian pastor, but I attended an Episcopal school for most of my childhood and an Episcopal church (cathedral, actually) in college, so that tradition is sort of a second home for me. I sat through most of this service with my jaw on the floor. The cathedral in Baltimore didn't come close to this small congregation in a small town in Georgia on high-church ritual. They had a veritable army of youngsters in red cassocks and white cottas (boys and girls, thank you very much) helping serve and marching in the processions. I counted eight candles carried in and out, four before the gold-bound Gospel book and four after. The procession was led by a teenager swinging a censer and a younger boy holding a container of extra insence. And indeed, the priest "smoked" not only the altar but the (Orthodox) icon of Christ next to the altar. They even had a boy ring a chime during mass at the elevation of the bread and cup. I thought that was strictly a Roman Catholic thing, marking the moment of transfiguration. "Smells and bells," indeed. I'm a cradle Presbyterian. I have enough experience with other traditions to recognize some of the symbolism and try to be open to it, but I was uncomfortable. The whole thing just seemed over the top. Then again, for whom is it appropriate to go over the top if not for God?

Then the new, young priest got up and preached a very good sermon on Paul's second letter to the Corinthians. He commented that unwritten Episcopal tradition has been to preach on the gospel text almost exclusively, despite having an Old Testament reading, a psalm, an epistle (or Acts), and a gospel lesson every Sunday, but he didn't want to miss out on the rest of Scripture. His sermon reflected good Bible study, good thinking, and good application to life. Afterwards, when I mentioned the number of young people in the congregation (and especially the number of assistants), he said, "One of the ways we get the kids involved is to give them a leadership role in the service. Basically, for anyone over about third grade, if you show up on Sunday morning, you serve. If you want to, of course. They love it." All of a sudden my perception of the army of assistants went from ridiculous to brilliant. I like this priest. I hope we can find a way to work together.

Carrie

Dear Gordon,

I would like to share with you my favourite Orthodox author - Metropolitan Antony of Sourozh. He was head of Russian Orthodox Church in England, and not only Orthodox Christians liked him, but also Anglican.

It is a home page http://www.mitras.ru/eng/, it has little information in English, but if you ever have a chance got some of his books (look to Publications), I'm sure, you will be touched by him.

Thank you for sharing you experience so honestly.

In "Sermons and Talks" section it is a lot in English.

My husband has been a Church school teacher for many years. He explains to the kids that "Wisdom! Let us attend!" REALLY means "Hey, everybody! Shut up and pay attention, this is important!"

Thank you for your thoughts about the necessity to become child-like. St Gregory of Nyssa said “Ideas create idols; only wonder leads to knowing.” We always need to remind ourselves that whatever we think we know about God is not the same as knowing Him; at the end of the Divine Liturgy we pray to be saved from our own reasoning.

We just met with our priest today, and we're becoming catechumens in the Orthodox church tomorrow. Thanks for your essays; they were wonderful.

We enjoyed reading of your experiences in attending an Orthodox church last summer as we were on our own journey into Orthodoxy. On January 9, our family of nine was baptized and christmated into the Church, glory to God! It was such a joyful event, followed by our first Eucharist at Divine Liturgy the next morning. While the external circumstances of our lives continue to rumble and roll, internally -- and practically -- we liken our entry into the Church to a fall into a hammock. It's a nice, restful place to be. It's not without it's challenges as we for the first time press truly into becoming like Christ (which involves confession to our priest, i.e., being held accountable for becoming more and more Christlike, as well as ascetic practices), but we have found our heart's true home in this ancient original Church and for that we remain forever thankful.

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