Seeing Gravity
For a brief period of time in 2001 I started seeing gravity, and my world turned into a slapstick comedy. It began when a woman dropped a book. The book flew out of her hand and smashed into the floor with a loud bang. For some reason, this didn’t look right to me. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest. Why would this book throw itself to the ground like that? And instead of looking like a peaceful book lying on the floor, it appeared to me that this book was straining, pushing against the floor, trying to burrow through to the center of the earth. The woman picked up the book and I could see her working hard to lift it. The book was trying to get away from her, like a dog on a leash straining to get at its food.
“That book really, really wants to go down,” I thought.
The woman had to push the book under her arm to hold onto it. She had a purse, and I could see that the purse wanted at the floor as badly as the book did. Fortunately she had devised a strap or leash that she had looped over her shoulder to keep the purse from escaping. But I could see the purse, tugging against the strap, trying so hard to get to the floor. A glass near the edge of a table appeared to me to be trying to escape. I pushed it toward the center of the table, realizing that if given a chance it would have hurled itself over the edge to be shattered on the floor below. Two boys were playing catch. One of them threw a ball to the other. The ball described a gentle arc and began to descend. Thinking it was free, the ball rushed toward the ground with great enthusiasm, only to be caught by the other boy at the last minute and thrown upwards again. It seemed a little cruel to me, like cats playing with their prey. But presently they let the ball drop to the ground. It rolled a few feet, but the force of it pressing against the earth soon stopped it. And then it lay motionless, as if it was connected by a string through a hole in the ground to a heavy weight below.
It may seem strange to you, but I felt convinced that these objects had a singular consciousness with only one desire - to get to the center of the earth. It’s the center of the earth or bust for these things, and they pursue this end with the crazed, single-minded energy of salmon hurling themselves into waterfalls. The book and the purse and the glass and the ball have perfect focus. They are never distracted and never tire of pursuing their one desire. I believe if the woman had left the book alone and returned five years later, she would have found it in that same spot, pushing just as hard against the floor as the day it escaped her grasp.
As surprising as all of this was, I was equally shocked to find that no one else seemed to notice that everything was rushing toward the ground. People acted like nothing unusual was happening, even as they struggled against gravity themselves. I saw a man whose shoes were stuck to the ground. To his credit, he was making the best of a hard situation. He jerked his feet up, one at a time, held them briefly in the air, then let them fall back to the earth, propelling himself forward with a jerky motion. I saw that someone had captured a group of delinquent books and was holding them on a shelf, where they sat quietly, biding their time. Their weight had caused the shelf to bow, and I thought, “It won’t be long now until they make their escape.” A pencil hung on a string from a thumbtack stuck into a bulletin board. Some clever person had tied it there with a leash to keep it from escaping. The string was pulled taut by the force of the pencil’s downward pull. The whole thing looked bizarre to me. It wouldn’t have looked any stranger if the pencil had pulled the string away from the bulletin board on a line parallel with the ground. And yet, in spite of these complex contrivances to stop things from throwing themselves to the ground, people seemed unconcerned and acted as if nothing was amiss.
At this point my new vision became overwhelming to me, and I felt a disorientation that bordered on vertigo. The rain seemed like a shouting horde of barbarians rushing the gate. Trees with bobbing limbs became great trolls, exhausted from decades of holding up their sagging arms. The creaking groans of the wood were the sounds of their ancient pain. Birds were puckish Sprites that alone defied the strong god of gravity and whirled in the air, joyous in their anarchy. I began to avoid manhole covers, which appeared to me to be secret doors to the deep place that draws everything to its dark bosom. For a few days I wandered the earth like a dazed, crazy person, shying away from ladders and tables and other strange devices we use to stop gravity’s pull. Thumbtacks and hooks and nails fascinated me. I saw some boys playing basketball and thought I might faint.
In those strange days I began to feel a kinship with all things organic and inorganic. We are all being pulled to the center by a force that is ancient and old beyond all human reckoning. And if we are all pulled by this same force, what do the inner workings of any object or creature ultimately matter? In the face of such an overwhelming reality, what do our short-sighted distinctions of animal, vegetable, and mineral mean?
And I must say that the faithfulness of common objects to the call of gravity seemed noble to me, while our human efforts to defy and postpone the inevitable seemed as silly as Jonah sailing for Tarshish, with a great fish following to catch him and take him down, as all of us must go down. In those days I could feel the reality of a larger kind of faith, a macro spirituality that was older and deeper and more true than any human religion. This is the oldest reality we know, this force pulling everything to the center. And from this ancient point of view, where is wisdom to be found? Are we humans wise, we who dance with gravity, use it, play with it, and live without really seeing it? Or should we count objects, with their placid and stoic acceptance, as wise?
And there is this reality: We will all go to the center of the earth. Or if not the earth then the center of some larger body that will draw the earth to its center. When the reckoning of time has stopped, and when every trendy religion on earth is forgotten, everything will be drawn to the center.
It’s a big idea for a small human mind. It’s the sort of thing that could trouble a pastor who has to find the emotional energy to show up on Sunday mornings with a gospel to proclaim. I could have gotten myself into a bit of trouble over this, but I’m happy to report that I woke up a few days later and had returned to normal. I was unharmed and unable to see gravity anymore, leaving me free to participate in the everyday events of our world without flinching or staring.
The only difference is that a heaviness hangs over me now. It bends my shoulders and pushes on my mind. I hear the sloshing of Jung’s deep ocean of the unconscious. And I seem to be unable to take things as seriously as I did before. If I’m talking to someone about how often we should water the grass or how a participle in one of Paul’s letters should be translated, I find my attention wanders. On Sunday mornings I stare at the birds in flight and lay my palm on the ground to feel the pull of the earth.
I still take up the scriptures with joy on Sundays and treat them fairly and well. But I lay them down again with as much joy, because I know there is something larger out there, something that is pulling us with infinite patience. Tugging on us, jerking things out of our hands, sticking our feet to the ground, rumbling in deep groans beneath the crust of the earth. Gravity is perhaps God's oldest servant, and Gravity's rules are older than any human gospel.
I dropped my New Testament on the way to preach the other day. It stopped me in my tracks. For just a second I would have sworn something or someone pulled it out of my hands. Smiling, I picked it up again.
"Not yet," I said. "This is still our time."
A rumbling voice came from below the floor. "Perhaps. But Time is my brother. And I bend Time and Light as I will. You've been given these short moments. Retrieve your Bible and use it well. But do not forget how small you are and how short your time is. I will not forget you, for nothing on this earth can escape me. And one day, I will draw all things to myself."
rlp



Speaking to all of us.
Gordon, it is with great joy and humbleness that I read your words and resonate in perfect pitch. You are one of God's gifts to me; your insight, your talent, your gift - created solely for the glee of God when He sees everyone else's thoughts and expressions and change that comes from reading your words. LOVE YOU!
Book!
-
Wow, RLP. Is it too late to include this one in your next book? Inspired, contrived, or cobbled together through painstaking care and attention, your writing is one of the things I most look forward to.
As usual, wonderful insight.
As usual, wonderful insight. A small typo - First word of the last paragraph.
Dave
Nice catch. thanks.
Nice catch. thanks.
cool
way cool
Wow. Submitting to gravity.
Wow. Submitting to gravity. Who would have thought it's...spiritual?
There is nothing I love more
There is nothing I love more than to lay spread eagle on a big piece of rock and *feel* the center of the earth pulling at me -- it would be so easy just to let go and sink in.
That reads like poetry.
That reads like poetry.
didn't wish to be
didn't wish to be anonymous,
deb @ talk at the table
Oh my.
This was splendid.
That was me.
Silly drupal.
That Was Awesome
And awesome like my Old Testament professor meant it. Thank you for this today.
Kate
Nice.
Nice.
closet pentecostalist I
closet pentecostalist
I really like this too. But do the rest of you readers read what I read here? Seems to me you're taking an ancient Jewish point of view, rlp. What you describe here is the feeling I get when I read Ecclesiastes, or certain psalms or passages in Isaiah that describe flesh as grass, that withereth like the grass. I don't feel the lightness of a resurrection faith here, rather the heaviness of a view that sees man going down into Sheol. I also think of the corollary of the Big Bang--that ultimate Big Collapse. I think of those Renaissance portraits that show a scholar leaning his elbow on a skull.
But this raises the question: why do our little individual lives matter to God? How are we to understand the gospel assurance that they do? Or even to understand the assurance of Psalm 103: That the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting?
I'm describing a glimpse of
I'm describing a glimpse of a reality that is undeniable. Gravity was here before the earth was formed and will be here after we are gone. Unless you have a "humancentric" view of reality, then there are bigger things than Christianity. Now my seeing this macro view does not mean that our micro view and our religions, which are here only for a moment, are meaningless.
After all, if God stands outside of time, then God can appreciate both the big movements of the Cosmos and the small movements of humanity.
On the subway today, I found
On the subway today, I found myself seeing what would happen if I extended the metaphor. To call the Earth's gravity a teeny point on the vast fabric of spacetime is to inflate its importance by many orders of magnitude; and since gravity is an inherent attribute of all things, there's no center of it. So...
("So..." is as far as I got when my stop came.)
That's interesting. I think
That's interesting. I think I gave a hat tip to avoiding an earth-centered view of gravity when I mentioned that we may well fall to the center of some other object that is pulling the earth. In any case, I don't write generally by extended the metaphors and CERTAINLY did not intend to make any statements about physics.
Seriously...One day I was seeing things like this. And then later not. So I just told the story of it. Definitely a description of a personal, dream-like vision and not a statement of physics.
closet pentecostalist Yes,
closet pentecostalist
Yes, there's something kind of freeing about this train of reflections . . . God is bigger than the Cosmos, Time, certainly than our religions . . . A good thing to keep in mind on a day when one is feeling righteous anger or despair of soul or petty frustration.
I think if the physics
I think if the physics didn't work, neither would the essay. The fact that it actually does make sense is what invites me to take it farther. Otherwise it would just be "God is like, ummmmm, like this PENCIL RIGHT HERE!" and OK, maybe so, but it doesn't give me much to think about afterward.
If the physics work, it's
If the physics work, it's pure luck then. Because I'm notorious for taking a little knowledge and running to the ends of the earth with it. lol.
They work enough. If they
They work enough. If they worked perfectly, all the stuff on my desk would get sucked into your web page.
Aaahh...
Microview, macroview, whatever the view - your view, Gordon, more often than not makes me want to linger and languish in the imagery you bring to my thought processes. At times it can be disturbing to my psyche because it hits a nerve in me, something I too, have been working on for myself and at other times its pure pleasure and poetry. But always, I come back for more...to piqué my thirst...for the chance to sit with and silence myself in a moment that most often takes me into thoughts of God. What a gift you have, Gordon, and I’m so very grateful you share it with us.
db - houston
Amazing writing
This piece helps me think about thoughts I've had, but have not been able to articulate. It communicates the feeling that you know there is so much unknown - a feeling of both dread and awe.
And ultimately, I think it is hopeful to realize that our attempts at religion and speaking about God are really pretty small - Because God knows we have gotten the religion thing so wrong for so long in the course of human history.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful writing. Can't believe it's free...
"I hear the sloshing of
"I hear the sloshing of Jung’s deep ocean of the unconscious. And I seem to be unable to take things as seriously as I did before."
Me, too. Thanks for putting this into words.
wow. just wonderfully
wow. just wonderfully written as I am sure even Newton would appreciate. thank you for reminding me that I am part of something larger. that there is a gravity and a Godcentric gravity that pulls, whether or not I decide to acknowledge it.
So I will acknowledge the latter gravity from pulling this thought from head, to my tongue and hands and to your rlp page. I will try to live more mindfully that I am a small thought but a thought none the less. thank you.
Well said
Gordon,
I have a partial-ms on something related to this, so I gravitated toward it. ;)
We make God small by cartooning a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Yet there aren't two directions we can take. Only one. The only thing anyone wants - sinner or saint, deacon or Dahmer - is either God himself or the stuff of God: the attributes, promises, characteristics, realized creational norms, etc. Of course, we make plenty of bad decisions that harm ourselves and others, but it's all in the name of having this one thing.
I like your reflections because they remind me of God's undeniable, irresistible, and uncontested attraction.
Thanks.
This is why I am a Christian
What you write of in this piece is why I resisted Christianity for most of my life, and why I eventually became a Christian. God's inevitability, and the inevitability of so much within the created universe, drew me inexorably to this guy Jesus and his incredible love which could only be born from the inexorable God.
I must say also that it was pieces like this, Gordon, which made me a Christian at all. Your blog in large part facilitated the beginnings of my ongoing process of conversion. Your thoughts, your poetry, your doubts, your conflicts, your family, your church, your literary style, everything your readers see and hear from you so often here, inspired me to take a second look at the messages of the Bible and to finally take the step of giving my heart over to a Jew who died two thousand years ago, who is proving to me more and more every day that he really is still alive. Thanks for everything, Gordon.
In Peace Profound,
Nicholas
Wow, what a powerful
Wow, what a powerful affirmation to give to me. Thank you.
There are no words . . .
except thank you for sharing your writing with us.