The Rooster is leaving
Reiley graduated from high school two years ago. She's a very smart kid, very engaged with the world and with issues, very passionate. No so good with high school though. And part of the problem was that I couldn't work up the energy to care that much about high school either. Eh, she got through it. Go to college and no one cares what you did in high school. Get a good job later and work hard and they won't care about college either.
My two cents.
Anyway, she's been living at home and going to the community college to get her basics out of the way. Then she is going to transfer to the University of Texas in San Antonio. She works hard as a checker at a local grocery story. She's paid for her own school and has no debt. Very responsible kid. I love that about her.
But now it looks like she's leaving. A friend's parents own a house down in the cool part of San Antonio, right near San Antonio College. It's broken into 4 apartments. They have offered her the friend's rate of $300 a month for a place of her own. A small kitchen, living room, bedroom, and bath.
It's so cool. She's so excited. She's going to live on her own for the first time. And she's ready. She has a good, solid set of values and boundaries. And you need both for life to work well.
So this is good. It is.
Only there is this: I like her so much. I just adore her. She was our first, and she was always my little buddy. I took her everywhere. We called her Reiley Rooster - I don't know why. And now that she is an adult - just about - we have a friendship. We laugh and discuss things. It's great. She's my girl. And of all three, she is the most like me.
I want her to go. I really really do. And I'm happy at the thought of her launching herself into life. I really really am.
So why is my chest heaving?
This is the moment we knew was coming. The three sisters will no longer be together here at our house. That season has passed, and a new season is beginning. Shelby will fly the coop herself in a couple of years. Then there will be one. And then none.
For everything there is a season. The season of Gordon & Jeanene as parents of young children has been a long and wonderful one. Hard too.
And now I can see the end that is coming. In two years Shelby will be ready to go. And about that time Lillian will start spending all her time with friends.
We are facing the post-children season of life.
And that's kind of nice. Thinking about that is...really good, actually.
Quiet house. Clean house. Maybe a room where I can write. No one eating all my Pepperidge Farm Goldfish.
Hmm...my chest seems to have stopped heaving.
Yeah, we're all gonna be okay.
Reiley and I at Mesa Verde last Summer
Also at Mesa Verde. I don't know why, but I love this video of us.
rlp
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You have a lot to be proud
Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 13:12.You have a lot to be proud of, Preacher.
Jeff from Nebraska
Moving from Summer to Autumn
Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 13:22.Moving from Summer to Autumn can itself be a new Spring. If only we could control outcomes, change would be so easy to bear. My oldest is 11 and I can only pray I can endure the coming changes with the grace and forbearance you show. Thanks for continuing to be a light, Preach.
-Erisian
Empty nests
Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 13:28.Empty nests are wonderful. You have time to pursue your dreams, and then they fill up again for short periods...and the peace returns again. I have loved each phase in life - but I love this one best at the moment. Now, going from two to one - that is the phase I don't look forward to...
Rooster "Flies the Coop"
Submitted by rlp on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 14:07.Couldn't resist suggesting this new title!
All you have said is true; so true. We will miss our little rooster, but it is such a delight to see her fly!
(G, I'm thankful that when the chicks have all flown the coop, it will be YOU here with me.)
Tearfully and with great joy-
Jeanene
Bittersweet, yes, but mostly sweet...
Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 23:21.I, to am enjoying the new relationship I have with my children, now that [2 of them] have grown up. But, yes, the house is SO much quieter with each leavetaking. I don't know what's harder, saying goodbye to the one "most like me" or the one that isn't. Having now said goodbye to 2 of my 3, it seems easiest to slip back into a nice rhythm when we're together w/the one most similar to the way I am. I don't know if this is advice I offer for when Shelby or Lillian one day grow up, but I do have to work harder with one of mine now. It makes me much more aware of who I am/how I am with her.
Anyway, I so appreciate and have enjoyed all you've written about the 3 sisters over the years. They are all beautiful, amazing girls/young women. It's lovely to see what cherishing and nurturing your children can do for them. These girls are remarkable, Gordon. I hope in your humble and thankful way you can celebrate your contribution to that.
There's really nothing eloquent to say. This shift is a BIG one. I still grapple with the new reality, and mine live half a mile away! Good luck with your transitions...
Congrats to you & Jeanene for a fine job,
Janine
Carl Holmes
Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 08:53.Your nest will not be empty long. Grandkids will come, and you will do your part to shape them as you have your daughters. Life will move forward with your wisdom as part.
P.S. I proposed to my wife right along that Mesa ridge your video is on.. beautiful place for sure.
What?
Submitted by Simon on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 20:17.-
Who the hell's cutting onions in my living room after 8 PM? They're making my eyes all watery, damn it!!
They Will Return
Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 08:05.Don't worry. They'll be back with your grandchildren. And if you thought that your children were adorable, just wait until you hold their children in your arms. And... here is the big advantage - you can always give them back!
A Great-Grandparent
Soon to Be There as Well
Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 14:25.My oldest daughter (Kristy) graduated high school in May, turned 18 this summer and started community college last month. Although I have the kind of relationship with my youngest daughter that you have with Reiley and for many of the same reasons, I will grieve the day that Kristy leaves home. I love her deeply, but she and I come from different planets and have not been as close as I wish we had. But I don't look forward to her leaving. My youngest is 7 years younger than her sister, so we have awhile before it is an empty nest. But the clock is ticking.
I cannot say that I will miss the drama of pre-teen and teen-age girls though.....:).
Thanks for your honesty in what you write.
~ Jeff
You both have a lot to be
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 14:02.You both have a lot to be proud of, she seems a delight. How I remember our silence after dropping our daughter (our firstborn) off at college, hundreds of miles from home. We knew life had changed forever and didn't know if our hearts could take it. Little did we realize at the time that each and every time we talked to her from afar (or saw her again) she would have such exciting subject matters and experiences to convey to us. We began to look forward to the absences a little bit just so we could see what new discoveries we would hear about next time. Seeing life through her wide open, intuitive eyes, opened up our understanding or her in a different way. I compare it to witnessing your toddler coming to life with their little discoveries. We relished in her ways of discovering things. I know you know all of this and realize it...just thanks, Gordon...for the reminder of those memories.
Here's to birds "flying the coop" (so cute, Jeanene) and to the excitement of seeing them grow in discoveries!! Believe me they take YOU along for the ride with them when "that bond" is there - the sharing will continue and you will love it. Continue to take heart and take care...both of you, and again thanks for sharing with us in that poignancy,
db
A lovely girl, RLP. You are
Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/23/2009 - 17:50.A lovely girl, RLP. You are rightly proud. My eldest is away at university 3hrs away and we miss her every day.
BTW, I own the exact same hat. Love it.
God bless the Rooster
Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 21:55.Gordon, I think you're making all of us cry. My boys are little but growing too fast. Being a dad rocks! You sound like a great one for the Three Sisters. You are all blessed to have one another!