Three dreams before Sunday
I had three dreams early Saturday morning before my last Sunday as the pastor of Covenant Baptist Church.
Salting the Edwards Aquifer
In the first of three dreams I had this night, there was a big controversy in San Antonio regarding the Edwards Aquifer, our city’s source of water. Some, mostly conservatives, wanted to add massive amounts of salt to the aquifer. They claimed the salt would create a “salt pan” and preserve the aquifer in some way, insuring us of a supply of water in the future.
I tried to make a guess at what this meant. I asked their expert if the salt would sink to the bottom and form a crust, preventing the water from seeping deeper into the earth. Their expert said that, in fact, the presence of salt would serve as a catalyst to form a salt pan on the top of the aquifer chamber. He did not explain how this would preserve the water.
The position held by mostly liberals was that the salt would get out into the land and be an environmental disaster. I attended meetings, listening to experts on both sides, trying to decide what I thought. Everyone else seemed very sure of themselves. I just wanted the facts and couldn’t see any way of deciding apart from those facts.
Mike Huckabee was the spokesman for the conservatives, leading their campaign. In the dream he knew me and wanted my support for their position. He talked with me numerous times. I liked him but his “expert” turned out not to be a scientist at all, making me immediately suspicious of him and the whole "Salt the Aquifer" group.
Lost in San Antonio. Can’t find my way home
In my next dream, I left our home and went for a walk. I ended up near downtown San Antonio. I got turned around and couldn't remember how to get home. I looked up and down the streets, hoping to see something familiar.
It was as if I had amnesia and couldn’t remember how I had gotten there. I couldn’t retrace my steps and go home. I wandered into a massive Orthodox church. Beautiful. Classic, with a domed roof. I remembered that Paul Soupiset had told me about their worship, which was esoteric and strict, even by Orthodox standards. I entered, peeked into the worship service which was happening at the time, then left.
I still had no idea how to find my way home. Then I remembered that my phone had GPS on it. I turned it on, plugged in my home address, and began to follow the instructions. Comforted by the fact that I didn’t have to know the way home but could just follow the simple instructions, I began to walk.
Suddenly I remembered how I had gotten downtown and how to go home. I even remembered why I had gotten turned around and lost in the first place. While walking from my home toward downtown, I had crossed the street at some point. From the other side of the street, my perspective had changed entirely.
Driving the ambulance with Reggie Freakin Regan
In the third of my dreams, I had bought an ambulance. I thought it would be fun to have an ambulance as my car. The back was empty, containing no medical equipment. Still, I thought it was cool.
This ambulance had been broken down for some time and left standing outside on the street. John McJilton (Member of our church) appeared in my dream and reminded me that for all the months the ambulance was broken, the street sweepers had to negotiate around it, and had been unable to clean the street, so that under the ambulance the street was filled with leaves and trash.
But now I had repaired the ambulance and was driving it around. Suddenly I had what I thought was a great idea. I would contact Reggie freakin Regan, who is a nurse with a specialization in emergency medicine. I thought Reggie and I might go into business together. We would have an ambulance service. I could drive and Reggie could handle taking care of people.
The idea of being the driver and leaving the care of the people in Reggie’s hands was very comforting. I did realize that it was going to be very expensive to stock the ambulance with all the medical equipment and wondered how we would get the money to do that.
Three Dreams. There you are. Have at it. My own approach to understanding dreams is Jungian. As such I find these three dreams, coming in quick succession last night, to be very interesting.
rlp
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Wow. I also prefer the
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:11.Wow. I also prefer the Jungian approach to analyzing dreams. These dreams are very telling about your state of mind, and your situation, especially the particular order of the dreams!
I have been watching your journey with much interest, praying for you, Jeanene, and the girls. As an outsider, I see this decision as clearly the right one, and anticipate even more meaningful, thought-provoking musings from your future!
Peace be with you.
Julia Fonteno
This is you
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:11.The dreams are just the kind of thing I would expect at this point.
Cynthia's comment
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:12.I didn't realize I wasn't logged in.
Hmm
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 13:33.so funny! and very interesting...
kathy
What does Jung think about
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 13:47.What does Jung think about dreams?
Click the link I provided on
Submitted by rlp on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 14:37.Click the link I provided on the word Jungian. It takes you to a wikipedia article with an overview.
Your Dreams...
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 14:52.Here's my "have at it"...just for fun....
Dream #1- reflects your need/desire to gather all the facts/information before you feel comfortable enough to make a committment/decision
Dream #2- You may be temporarily confused but help is close by and the answers are within you to discover before long
Dream #3- You don't want to be responsible for taking care of people but still want to be close and associated with it in some way because it gives you joy but that means you'll need money/funding to do it.
See? Not too deep an interpretation...just sort of the obvious stuff. :) Maureen
Real Live Ambulance Driver (aka RLAD)
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 15:08.Hey Gordon, Let's do it! I can get a really good deal on this ambulance. We can drive around town looking for people who may benefit from our spirtiual or medical help and guidance, and in our spare time we could even do a little "Ghostbusting"
Reggie "freakin" Regan
jericsmith.com/images/ambulance.jpg
my approach to understanding
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 17:45.my approach to understanding dreams is Jungian also ... very interesting dreams ...
Interesting
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 20:25.This is my "have at it," just for fun.
1) You need a kind of authority guiding your life and helping you make decisions, not people who only seem to be versed in the subject, but who actually are knowledgable.
2)Your "wandering" led to to a House of God, though you could not find your own home at first. Perhaps this is a call to a "new" home.
3)You have a sincere desire to help others, and have a plan, but can't always put it into place.
I pray that God may give you and your family guidance in this difficult time in your lives, and that your last Sunday at Covenant is filled with love anf friendship.
Why were all your dreams about me? Weird.
Submitted by Larry (not verified) on Sun, 02/07/2010 - 15:12.Actually, your dreams were so you. Such rlp stories. Your conservative versus liberal theme pervades your blog posts. The lost-in-the-city dream reads like one of your stories. And, of course, the deep, crazy fun with one of your Covenant friends.
Today must've been a heart-wrenchingly beautiful day, Gordon, filled with love and deep, deep emotion all around. Hope lunch was a celebration. I know it was delicious.
I can't wait to hear what's next in your life as it happens.
my puny thoughts
Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 02/07/2010 - 18:26.Dream 1:
Speaks of your desire to care for and preserve. You made the choice to leave what had been so much a part of your heart & soul. You've left it in the care of others, and while you believe you did the right thing, it is weighing on you. Your long years of experience make you still a valuable player and God will use you. It is good to use this time to reflect and search God's will for your life. It is right and blessed to send a kid off to college or see them married to a good mate, but is is also one of the most painful separations we humans can endure. Embrace this time, knowing that God has been with you on your journey so far and, He is the one Who placed this restlessness in your heart. He will lead you home if you are willing to follow Him even when it doesn't seem to make sense.
Dream 2:
"Comforted by the fact that I didn’t have to know the way home but could just follow the simple instructions, I began to walk." Nuff Said!
Personal Note: I love that! Just those words remind me so much of what it is like for me being Orthodox. I was Non-denom, worship leader, children's church etc. Didn't realize how much i was making up as I went along. Orthodoxy was like a warm safe place in my childhood where I didn't need to make decisions, just do as I was told, and all was well. :)
Dream 3:
"The idea of being the driver and leaving the care of the people in Reggie’s hands was very comforting."
Also Nuff said! But I think this dream leaves room for more personal contemplation to come.
Summation:
Dream one reflects your present state, dream two is reassurance from God, dream three leaves you wanting more.
Thanks for giving us the privilege of sharing a little of your journey
Kim
Now you wake up
Submitted by alan on Sun, 02/07/2010 - 21:23.As someone who has undergone several life changing transitions (some of my choosing, some not) I am more interested in what you will feel when you wake up tomorrow morning on the first day of the rest of your life.
As for the dreams, I often have dreams where I am back in an earlier phase of life. Usually they involve me returning and trying to fit in. Always the old way and old place has changed, and I never exactly fit in.
Will be interested in hearing about your dreams in a few years. I bet you dream of trying to preach at Covenant and they have rearranged the church with the chairs all facing the wrong way.
Good morning, RLP. Welcome to the rest of your life!
At least...
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 15:58....it wasn't Ronnie freakin Reagan and you weren't in your underwear (that you mentioned.) - revdavepett
I like Maureen's brief,
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 23:58.I like Maureen's brief, general interpretation. But I'm fascinated by the first dream. I want to ask: What resonance do the words "salt" and "water" or "aquifer" have for you? What resonance surrounds the things those words express, or the images they evoke? If this were my dream, and if I had been working like you as a pastor, I would say that the idea of "salt" would evoke Jesus' aphorism "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt has lost its savor, of what use is it?" However, the idea of "water" would evoke a series of scripturally related ideas, from the water of baptism to the river of living water flowing through the New Jerusalem. I would wonder if my dream was speaking to me about being caught between two competing ideas associated with our faith--1)the idea expressed in Jesus' pithy parable about useless salt: that people of faith are supposed to be different from those without it, that if we don't "savor" differently, we are not offering to the world what we should offer, and 2)that the key thing Jesus and those who follow him rightly bring to the world is healing and refreshment(not judgment). To me, your dream suggests that ongoing conflict in the church today between those who say that the church should be calling out the world on where it has gone wrong, and those who say that the church should be comforting the broken and praying for healing. Perhaps your dream expresses a concern about "salting" the "water" we need for life with too much judgment. Or perhaps it expresses a concern that if we work too hard to preserve (salt being a preservative) the truths of the faith against the corruptions of culture or worldliness or whatever, we may (ironically) end up poisoning the water and land both. It's such a strikingly absurd image, the idea of pouring salt on an aquifer to preserve it.
I would say that salt and
Submitted by rlp on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 23:40.I would say that salt and water are powerful symbols. VERY powerful religious symbols in pagan and Christian traditions. The water of life, coming from a well that never runs dry. The salt of the earth, as Jesus also said.
The aquifer is the deep, deep wellspring from which my part of the world gets its water.
Such powerful images: Water and life and salt and preservation. And then this: I've read that water is generally an image for the unconscious self. Especially deep water.
As steeped as I am in religious imagery, particularly considering the Sermon on the Mount is my favorite part of the whole Bible, I would wonder if I'm going to have to figure out how to be the salt of the earth in this new season, when being a pastor was my way of being salt for so long. And i wonder what this new season may mean to the health and well being of my unconscious self as well.
Or maybe this: My strong pull away from being a pastor may be the move I need to reconcile myself with....myself, the deepest parts of me that have always carried around some discomfort with the pastoral role. This mixing of salt with the water may be my own way of preserving something that has been deep within me.
Eh, who knows?
Just a guess.
Just read you'r Moving On
Submitted by chadders on Wed, 02/10/2010 - 13:16.rlp,
I have been a constant lurker on your pages for some time. I love what your write, I love the way you write, I love the honesty in your words. As you are aware I have walked a similar journey and we have shared emails before on similar matters. I just want you to know I feel in a far better place than I was when I made the decisions to move on from my own fellowship. In many ways I am now in deeper fellowship with fewer people and in a very different way. I still have the doubts, the questions, the ambiguities... but it feels different and I like it.
You will find the path for you and no doubt it will feel strange and weird at first, but you'll work it out. You have people who love you, who care for you and with whom you can seek counsel. You'll find a way that suits you and the world will benefit from it.
Peace brother,
c.