Worst Sermon Ever
Sun, 02/10/2008 - 21:34 | rlp
Look, I try not to be critical of people preaching or doing Bible studies. It's not good for me, spiritually. But honestly, sometimes there is something so gosh-awful and funny that I can't help myself. And this guy is smug enough that I'm not worried about hurting his feelings.
For you professionals out there, check out this guy's brilliant exegetical work. An entire sermon on this phrase: "I will destroy him that pisseth against the wall."
Nice.
Hat tip to Reformissionary
Tags:
I am a pastor, I pee sitting
I am a pastor, I pee sitting down and damn it I like sitting down when I pee. And I ain't lett'n no legalist tell me that I have to pee standing up. If God meant for me to stand up when I pee he would have given me better aim and He didn't - just ask my wife.
Wow - Didn't he say God was
Wow - Didn't he say God was going to destroy those that piss against a wall? How does that evolve into those who pee sitting down aren't real men? I guess you can be a real man and be destroyed or you can humble yourself and sit... (just kidding - but you have to admit my argument is at least as solid as his.)
Wow! I think God never said
Wow! I think God never said that. It’s the guy in the video who says that in the name of God. What’s the difference whether you pee sitting down or standing against a wall? how to choose the best camera.
Amen, Brother!
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Sitting down is practical (no mess to clean up) and nice 'n' lazy. But my brother firmly believes that men must stand, so go figure. I just can't believe this crackpot couldn't think of a more important issue to talk about.
He even missed the most disturbing thing about German bathrooms, which is that the toilets have a porcelain ledge in the bowl, which tends to catch, well, you know, as if for inspection. As Erica Jong noted, any nation that designs toilets like that is capable of anything...
So you think you want to try
So you think you want to try Christianity, huh? You’ve been casting about for some system of belief for years. You have what we might call a spiritual itch, and you’d like to try and scratch it. Only there are a few problems.
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So you think you want to try
So you think you want to try Christianity, huh? You’ve been casting about for some system of belief for years. You have what we might call a spiritual itch, and you’d like to try and scratch it. Only there are a few problems.
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I am a pastor, I pee sitting
I am a pastor, I pee sitting down and damn it I like sitting down when I pee. And I ain't lett'n no legalist tell me that I have to pee standing up. If God meant for me to stand up when I pee he would have given me better aim and He didn't - just ask my wife.
wow...
That's... astounding. There are so many things wrong with that I don't even know where to start...
I don't know. I was
I don't know. I was delighted to know that "this" is what's wrong with the world. Will make it easy to solve the problem! No more wars, no more hate, no more poverty, no more abuse...
Wow! I think God never said
Wow! I think God never said that. It’s the guy in the video who says that in the name of God. What’s the difference whether you pee sitting down or standing against a wall? I you just need to get that thing out and you do it in whatever way you like.
Sitting or Standing?
me oh my oh. I am --almost-- speechless.
I kept thinking two things:
1) This could easily be diagnosed as mental illness.
2) And they wouldn't call/keep a minister whose wife left him?
Wow. Sometimes the reputation of these "pastors" is duly earned.
Worst Sermon??!!
Are you kidding? This is the BEST sermon!! E-V-E-R!!!! Freaking brilliant stuff...
I couldn't stop laughing. I wonder if anyone ever told him that God didn't actually write the Bible...
KJV
I wonder if anyone ever told him that King James was a practicing homosexual?
How about the kid (fine
How about the kid (fine upstanding member of the youth group) who, uhm, "found release" against a wall -- onanism. On the nice new church building. Is that OK? He did it standing up... and he did it at church...
This is hysterical. I lived
This is hysterical. I lived in Germany for a year in a residence across the street from a French army base and I can assure you that many French soldiers have peed against a wall in Germany whatever the signs may say.
Wow. How is it that the
Wow. How is it that the congregation isn't peeing themselves with laughter?
Haha thanks for a good
Haha thanks for a good laugh, rlp.
I too am at a loss where to start, but I thought the part when he's yelling about being a man was pretty funny. (because he links it to how to urinate)
Oh man I couldn't stop
Oh man I couldn't stop laughing. then went to you tube and found his sermon on Super Tuesday. He actually kicks the pulpit! The scary thing he sounds just like my anarchist daughter.
Anarchy rules!
Anarchy rules!
Very strange sermon !
Very strange sermon !
Well, as a female pastor, I
Well, as a female pastor, I can tell you that I have often joked about the culture and the church's high value on the ability to stand up to pee; the stained glass ceiling is real.
But I never expected to hear a sermon about it.
A piss-poor sermon, but a hoot and a half.
Wow!
I was disappointed that my pastor yesterday preached a not very good sermon on Evolution Sunday on the first Sunday in Lent. I'm not so disappointed any more. At least he made sense.
Brenda
Provacatively Piss Poor Preaching
This pastor really was really pissing up the wrong tree with this piss poor preaching! I laughed so hard I peed my pants (while sitting down!) If this preacher keeps pissing in the wind this way he'll be thrown out on his ear and won't have a pot to piss in.
haHAAAAAAAAH! What in the
haHAAAAAAAAH!
What in the WORLD?!?
I especially love the First thing that comes out of his mouth:
"I was reading the Bible this week..."
O RLY?
Wow...
You know, some people complain about many churches' requirements to go through seminary, psychological evaluations, etc. This is a freaking PSA for that stuff.
And they let everybody know it
The New York subway system is FULL of real men!
Keith
That is funny!
Exhibit A
Suddenly I have the very strong belief that God loves most of all those of us who have testicles on the outside of our bodies. I hereby tender my resignation from the ministry that I left completely eight years ago. Can you imagine the Sunday afternoon conversation?
Wallpisser: Honey, how'd you like my sermon today?
Slave/Wife: Good aim, Darling. Almost no dribble at all!
You know as soon as he took his Sunday nap she was furiously searching Match.com for a replacement. Who knew a weak stream and weak faith were connected?
What the?
O my God
LOL
One interesting thought, it never showed anyone in the congregation.
Who would go to that church?
That is sad and funny at the same time.
Anyway, he probably pisses sitting down.
Blessing,
Bill
bill.finley@gmail.com
Who would go to that church
The same people responsible for the aromatic structure on 175th Street that one of my three-year-olds refers to as "the steegy egebato."
I can see the sign now:
Church of Christ of the Stinky Elevator
URINE GOD'S HANDS!
Perfect
Keith,
A perfect end to a difficult day: "Urine God's Hands!" I feel a bumper sticker coming on...
There's a catheter joke here
There's a catheter joke here somewhere too, but I can't find it...
I know that many
I know that many “Reformed” evangelicals like Paul Washer’s preaching. I find this rather troubling. I’ve heard several sermons by him and I find myself grateful that I heard the gospel elsewhere because I’ve yet to find it in anything Paul Washer says.
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Uff-dah!
I found myself laughing, and simultaneously feeling sorry for the guy. What in the world can be going on with him? "Raging closet case" comes to mind as a possibility - but of course there's no way to know that based on these few minutes of video.
Definitely have to agree with the assessment of "brilliant" exegetical work. Sad.
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Women can pee standing up, too.
Absolutely, we can -- as
Absolutely, we can -- as long as we keep a Wide Stance!
Beware ye widestance
Beware ye widestance pissers: the Hebrew word for wench is "she who wets her sandals."
"what being a man is all
"what being a man is all about"
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience?
If I hadn't heard one guy who mumbled "Amen" there close to the end, I would have thought it was a joke. I was hoping, actually, that this guy set up a camera and the rest of the room was empty and he was just goofing around.
Somebody please tell me he was just goofing around ... :(
Wow!
Now I have to change my thinking about my Lenten luncheon sermon for Wednesday - I have just never thought about this particular perspective on the scriptures, whatever translation you use. But, then again, I don't often utilize "the original bible or the actual words of God", the KJV - my fault, I suppose.
Seriously; I'm a licensed pastor - not ordained, never been to seminary, but my four year study in the Education for Ministry program (University of the South - Sewanee)and The Oxford Summer School of Religious Study taught me enough to know this is an example of less than rigorous examination of the text and the context in which it was written and which it is to be applied. Put more directly; you don't have to be ordained to figure out this isn't the way to go.
Thanks RLP for a reminder.
Wondering Pastor
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Ohh my God!
That was so funny. I imagine him being unemployed soon. Or, maybe he already is and he is a evangelist wandering church to church. That way he can piss off people (or on the wall) and leave without people yelling at him.
actually, I hoped that too,
actually, I hoped that too, but if you follow the links, he is preaching to his own church, which he's pastored since '06. And in the comments on youtube, some are like 'right on, he gets it'
While the "sermon" by itself
While the "sermon" by itself is so bad it is funny; I came away from the youtube site feeling sad. Sad that there is a congregation and a youtube audience listening regularly to this. What kind of faith is being nurtured there? How sad.
That was ridiculous.
That was ridiculous.
Oh...my...God. Not too much
Oh...my...God. Not too much more to say than that.
Not to put too fine a point
Not to put too fine a point on this, but wouldn't someone who is pissing against a wall be standing? Or are they leaning against the wall in a sitting position?
It appears that Pastor
It appears that Pastor Anderson posts these videos to Youtube himself! (I thought perhaps someone had taped this secretly to embarrass the speaker...but apparently not.)
By following the links on Youtube, you can, in fact, see some of the pastor's other messages, including 'Why Billy Graham is Going to Hell!' 'Joel Osteen Exposed!' and "Baptist Pastor Speaks Out Against Judaism!'
Coming soon:
"Baptist Pastor Undertakes Ill-Advised Self Promotion!"
After I looked up exegetical
After I looked up exegetical in the dictionary I really started to laugh. Unfortunately it was guys like this that kept me from the church for so long
Besides the fact that this
Besides the fact that this is obviously hilarious...
I don't understand what his beef is with the word "male". Maybe he doesn't understand what it means?
I heard a sermon on 'All fat
I heard a sermon on 'All fat belongs to the Lord' once (it's in the Pentateuch somewhere, I think Leviticus, one of the passages about butchering the sacrificed animals). I think the main thrust of the was that weight-loss is stealing from God and we should all just stay (or become!) round and flabby. It was a great sermon - for a humour night at a theological college, which is where it was preached.
Could that possibly (please God!) be something like what is going on here!?!
Nope, this guy is for real.
Nope, this guy is for real. He uploads his own sermons. It's no joke.
scary
Most of the comments have thought this was funny, but I found it disturbing. I am worried for the people in his congregation. These people are part of the church, and so they are my brothers and sisters. They deserve better don't they?
You're not wrong!
Wow. It's pretty hard to imagine this as a serious thing. It's not hard to imagine somebody left to stew on their own hurts and anxietys getting things all twisted up like this. It is pretty hard to imagine a whole community gathered around this man, and no-one (or not enough people) being able or willing to say 'excuse me, but is this really what God wants to say to us today?'
But then, we have our own crazy preachers in my town too, and they have their own loyal congregations. Ok, this guy is an extreme case, but how would you show Christian love for him and his flock? I find it really painful. When I was ordained I took a vow to stand against teaching that was not biblically sound or spiritually helpful. And I think that's really important, ESPECIALLY because I know I won't always get it right and I need others to correct me sometimes. But I don't think I'd be very well received if I tried to do that in this fellow's church. Regardless of whether or not I can wee standing up.
huh?
This is unreal.
Yes I agree with you that it
Yes I agree with you that it seems to be unreal ! I might not able to write my term papers due to stress and depression due to reading strange post
That's the strange thing...
He actually uploads these himself from his Church plant. They have a picture of the congregation on their website (which you can eventually get to via YouTube), and there are only about 20 folks. I guess that's the good news.
Just in case this comment is
Just in case this comment is read... the Bible, to include Genesis and Acts was not written with chapters and verses, right - or were they inspired too? How can this guy make the comment he did about Genesis 5:5 and Acts 5:5? As if somehow it was predestined for the words of those two verses to one day be the fifth verse of a fifth chapter. OOOOOOh Spooooooky!
He forgot something...
...um, I wouldn't be too excited about pissing against the wall if I were him...remember?
"God's gonna destroy you!"
(as soon as God stops laughing his head off, that is)
poor crazy man...poor crazy people that say "amen" to man...
Oh sweet Moses. That is a
Oh sweet Moses. That is a riot. And the best part is that I'm sure he believes every word of it.
Because God wrote the Bible, ladies and gentlemen, amen.
Flashback?
I think that may be Matthew Fox (Jack) from Lost and this is all a flashback.
oddly enough...
...I, too, noticed the uncanny resemblance to Jack...same intensity, too!
I immediately thought of
I immediately thought of Jack from Lost too! Sounds just like him.
A Real Man
If this dude was a REAL man, he'd poop standing up.
Already been done
Check out 2 Enoch 5:5, another word for "male," but transliterated as "he who makes a big splishy-splash when dropping the poo-bomb."
(5 is the number for death, remember?)
"But isnât the purpose of
"But isnât the purpose of business to make a profit?" Just yes.
An Anecdote
This reminds me of something I saw a few years back, when I was working at a Boy Scout summer camp.
We had there three separate religious meeting places. A Catholic Chapel, a Jewish Synagogue, and an open air Protestant... area (I don't remember the exact name for it. It was pretty much an altar, and a bunch of benches kind of on a hill. But it was really nice. It... probably inspired me more spiritually while I was there than the other two).
In any case, I found myself walking with a co-worker, a man a fair bit ahead of me in years, though one I could talk to equally and evenly. He was a man I admired then (and still do), though he did not seem to me to be strongly religious. I may be mistaken, but I do believe he fell under the banner of "Christian", though I cannot specify more than that.
It came to be one day, however, that we were walking together past the Synagogue when my friend spotted a young camper engaging in a rather disgraceful activity.
He was reliving himself on the side of the synagogue, in broad daylight and almost clear view of a busy road.
(He was, in short, "him that pisseth against the wall".)
My friend moved toward the young man with an intent, strong stride and look in his eyes that can only be described as "Righteous Fury", a look I've seldom seen (before or since). He spoke quietly but firmly to the young man, and insured that the young man's leaders would be informed. He also made sure the young man personally apologized to the rabbi.
I'll never forgot the focus and purity in this man's voice and eyes as long as I live. He was so intent was he on doing what he felt to be the right thing that I don't think he would've rested until it was so.
It was frightening, a bit, but also inspiring.
I like to think, having seen this, that the Lord came upon my friend that day to demonstrate this phrase in action.
I am almost speechless
I kept wondering why anyone would sit there and listen. There had to be a better way to make whatever point he was trying to make. I don't want to be judgmental either, but I started feeling bad for the people that were there. At the same time I wanted to turn off the video, I just couldn't tear myself away somehow thinking it had to be going somewhere. I am left with nothing but WOW!
lol, oh goodness.
lol, oh goodness.
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My friend moved toward the
My friend moved toward the young man with an intent, strong stride and look in his eyes that can only be described as "Righteous Fury", a look I've seldom seen (before or since). He spoke quietly but firmly to the young man, and insured that the young man's leaders would be informed. He also made sure the young man personally apologized to the rabbi. I'll never forgot the focus and purity in this man's voice and eyes as long as I live. He was so intent was he on doing what he felt to be the right thing that I don't think he would've rested until it was so.
muhabbet , mirc
It was frightening, a bit, but also inspiring.
I like to think, having seen this, that the Lord came upon my friend that day to demonstrate this phrase in action.
I started feeling bad for
I started feeling bad for the people. I have writing my essays and going to finish my theses as well pretty soon on the religious scriptures.
Amazing
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Hi, why is the video has
Hi, why is the video has been remove, petty I did not watch it. Sometimes I really don't like to listen in preacher like those, they are overdone what is in the bible. baby shower invitations
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NOOOOOOOOOO, the video has
NOOOOOOOOOO, the video has been removed! Does anyone know anywhere else I can watch it?
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This was really funny video.
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Godness Gracious
Wow! I think God never said that. It’s the guy in the video who says that in the name of God. What’s the difference whether you pee sitting down or standing against a wall? I you just need to get that thing out and you do it in whatever way you like.
Godness Gracious
Wow! I think God never said that. It’s the guy in the video who says that in the name of God. What’s the difference whether you pee sitting down or standing against a wall? I you just need to get that thing out and you do it in whatever way you like.
What a weird topic to base a
What a weird topic to base a sermon on!
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This was really funny video.
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yes, i think too, that this video are very nice
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lol very funny vid, is very fantastic
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Wait, doesnt he look like
Wait, doesnt he look like Jack from Lost? or is that just me?
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God never
Wow! I think God never said that. It’s the guy in the video who says that in the name of God. What’s the difference whether you sohbet pee sitting down or chat standing against a wall? I you just need to get that thing out and you fenerbahçe do it in whatever way you like.
lol
I couldn't stop laughing. I wonder if anyone ever told him that God didn't actually write the Bible...
devlet
Bizarre
Bizarre. I feel bad for this guy and his congregation. He's totally off the mark from important things that God's word is teaching. How to lose body fat.
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Thank you for the great post!
Thank you for the great post!
That is terrible!
That is terrible!
Thanks
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