To my daughter at fifteen
Tue, 11/04/2008 - 02:39 | rlp
And to any girl who needs a blessing.
Beloved daughter, we have arrived at the time of life where I cannot give you everything you want and need. We have come to the time where you must learn to walk alone. That is hard for me, but it is right and good. It is the way things should be.
Listen to me now, for there are things I want to tell you as you stand, trembling, on the edge of womanhood.
I know that boys have become fascinating and mysterious to you. They live in a strange world of their own, the world of young men. It is a world of new muscles and deepening voices. It is a world of astonishing energy and physical movement. I know your eyes are drawn to them. I know your heart beats faster when you watch them. And I know you dream of a boy who will love you.
I also know there are girls at school who giggle and fawn over the boys. They lean in close, laughing hysterically at something he said and letting their shoulders bump. They know how to let their hand rest gently on his shoulder or his thigh, just for a moment. Just long enough. No, I do not know where they learned to play this game so well.
Now, my young woman. Now have come the days of your choosing. You are both discovering and deciding what kind of woman you will be. You are deciding what of your life will be hidden and what you will show. Choose carefully, for what shames you now may serve you one day. And what serves you now may one day make you ashamed. Many girls will lose themselves in this time. They may find themselves again someday, but many years will be lost.
Hear me now, daughter, for my place in your life grows smaller every day. And I would give you a blessing while I am able. Come to me, because I know you. I know that you still sleep with your blanket. I saw the Dr. Seuss book laying beside your bed. I know you have one foot in each world. Come to me now and receive my blessing.
You are a strong young woman. Your mind is strong, as are your opinions. Strong and well-formed. You have not traded what is precious for what is fleeting, though life these days would have been easier in some ways if you had.
You are a tender young woman, compassionate and kind. You believe in goodness and work for it. You care about the feelings of others. You are a loyal and faithful friend. You are brave enough to trust others, and others are not afraid to trust you.
Your faith in God is not simple or falsely stated. Your understanding of God is a growing, hurting, questioning, struggling thing. This too is as it should be.
You are a young woman who knows what love is. You have been loved and are loved. You understand love and will settle for nothing less. You will accept no facsimile, reasonable or otherwise. Listen to your heart when it comes to love, because your heart is as soft now as it was when you were young and your heart rested gently in my hands. I guarded that heart as long as I could.
Those are the things I know about you. Here is what I think you should do:
Walk the halls of your school with your head held high. While others may worship at the altars of camouflage, conformity, and compromise, you stand above those shortcuts and soul slayers. Rise up, young woman, and do not be afraid. Rise up and be true to yourself. Let the strength of your presence transcend hair and clothing and music and boys. Let your true colors show in the halls and know that many in high school have scales on their eyes. They only see what they want to see. Many will not see you. There will be times when you walk the halls and feel invisible.
But here is a secret that I know. One boy will see you. He will see you in the middle of the noise and the energy and the hype and the crowds. He will see your strong walk and your eyes. He will listen to the answers you boldly call out in class. He will hear your voice and know your power. He will watch you until he knows you, and then his heart will fall into his stomach, for he will understand that there is only one like you.
Look for him. He is the only one that matters. Do not listen to boys who say they love you. Instead believe in the boy who wants to cherish you. If you hide now, ducking into the crowd like so many others, dressing and looking and acting and praying for safety, you might indeed be safe, but the only boy that matters will miss you. He will miss you because he is looking for a girl like no other. And you will have become just another girl in the crowd.
Your heart now rests in the hands of those who might hurt you. That’s hard for me, but it could not be any other way because you would not leave your heart in my hands. If I must give up your heart, then listen to my words.
Stand up. Stand out. Be smart and strong. It may be some time before you find the one who can appreciate who you are. So be it. Settle for nothing less. Because if your heart must rest in the hands of another man, I want him to be a man strong enough to love a strong woman.
Go into the world, my string of pearls. Go into the world and make me proud.
Daddy.
Tags:
thanks
I have a 6yo and will look for someplace safe to keep this until then. These are perfect words, and I hope they will describe my daughter at 15 as they do yours. What a lovely young woman she must be. Blessings to her and to you.
very helpful
Good article Very helpful, thanks!!
This fits her world. But not
This fits her world. But not every girl. Some girls aren't really interested in boys at all, for a variety of reasons.
regards,
Silver jewellery
my face is all wet now.
my face is all wet now.
Mine too
Mine too
Yes, mine is too wet. I
Yes, mine is too wet. I should not read such a heartbreaking stories:(
can i use this?
i'm a youth pastor and when you said, "Choose carefully, for what shames you now may serve you one day. And what serves you now may one day make you ashamed," my heart melt.
i don't know how many high school girls i know have fallen into this trap. they see that what they currently have physically serves them well and makes them feel accepted, maybe even loved. what they don't see is how they are being manipulated and, dare i say, used. it hurts my heart to see them fall into this trap.
thank you for this letter. i think of my own daughter who is almost one and fear for her future. i guess after working with youth i see her future differently...
where do you get your art?
To be clear, I left that
To be clear, I left that part vague on purpose. I think the details of this are different for every girl. Certainly there are young women who allow themselves to be pressured into sexual things before they are ready. That happens.
Perhaps more common, girls hide their true selves in order to fit into some picture of femininity that is handed to them. Something their parents want, something they think the boys want, something their community of girls thinks they should be. Girls face a larger pressure to conform from many angles.
The latter was what I was thinking of in this piece.
About the art.
Very true. I was that girl
Very true. I was that girl in rural Indiana. She'll like college so much more.
Something their parents
Something their parents want, something they think the boys want, something their community of girls thinks they should be. Girls face a larger pressure to conform from many angles.
interesting article
something they think the boys want, something their community of girls thinks they should be. earn degree online Girls face a larger pressure to conform from many angles.buy a college degree
These are perfect words, and
These are perfect words, and I hope they will describe my daughter at 15 as they do yours. What a lovely young woman she must be. Blessings to her and to you ! My baby is currently only 5, just had a bridal shower for oldest. And my middle daughter is already having pregnancy symptoms. And all this gives me a migraines !
Very sweet, rlp-- But also
Very sweet, rlp--
But also kind of gutsy. You're not afraid to say it--despite many years in which women have preached feminism to each other, many if not most girls on the brink of womanhood are not primarily looking to be great career successes or to change the world or to be powerful and independent. They're looking to connect with some special person.
Well, maybe not so gutsy. I
Well, maybe not so gutsy. I did worry at first that this piece only fits some girls. But then I realized that this is my story with my daughter. This fits her world. But not every girl. Some girls aren't really interested in boys at all, for a variety of reasons.
But the idea of a young woman hiding her true self in order to be accepted - that happens to almost all young women. Young men too, certainly. I do think women in our culture face some unique pressures to conform to some vision of womanhood that is handed to them by the people around them.
Actually, everyone needs
Actually, everyone needs (and wants) special relationships, but it's those who are true to themselves that will not depend only on the relationship to define who they are. They will be the ones who are independent, and be able to do their own thing.
thanks
hiding her true self in order to be accepted - that happens to almost all young women. Young men too, certainly. I do think women in our culture face some unique pressures to conform to some vision of womanhood that is handed to them by the people around them. thanks
been there too
Your words are so tender and strong at the same time - and as the poppa of 2 adult women I celebrate them. My daughters were born to two hippie parents working for the Farm Workers in the 70s - they had to endure both our overly granola days as well as the contradictions of popular culture. Then on to seminary and 3 different churches. Thankfully, in the midst of all the change, we found time to listen and be present, screw things up and ask for forgiveness and encourage them to become their best selves. Now, as young women, they have told me that they had to learn the "girl" stuff later because we were so not into stereotypical roles (e.g. make-up, lingerie, etc.) And so that has been hard, but they've also been very clear that what they received was space to explore, safety and the understanding that as strong, young women they were free and encouraged to be themselves fully in God's image. My prayers are with you, brother. What a wild, wonderful and awesome privilege to be the father of a daughter in these days.
This made me cry
I was a girl of 15 once, and my father said much the same things to me. And I was very committed to being myself, and I really didn't want to be like "everyone else". And it was very difficult...
It's often true though, that those who are invisible at that age get their "revenge" by doing greater things later.
Darn it
Darn it, Crying at work is just not a "manly thing" and i'm a balling puddle of goo right now..
Way to go, your daughter is blessed to have you to speak into her life.
This is why I keep coming
This is why I keep coming back here. Thanks, Gordon!
Gordon, what a great story,
Gordon, what a great story, I will surely read it when I will have daughter.
Mike from elliptical fitness equipment guide
I'm a freshmen in college
I'm a freshmen in college and my parents are empty nesters now. I want to send this to my Dad because I think this would be just as helpful to him as it would be to the 15 year old me. This is about you just as much as its about your daughter. Letting go is very hard, but don't forget we always loved you first.
Thanks!
Great
Gordon,
I hope I will come up with words as eloquent as yours in 13 years. If not I'll just steel some of yours.
(Jokes are all I can do instead of crying)
Blessing,
Bill
bill.finley@gmail.com
honesty is the best policy,
no words.
honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Wow, RLP, you have captured
Wow, RLP, you have captured it beautifully. Words I would give my 15 yr old if I had them. May just have to borrow some of yours, if you don't mind. :)
I'm 26, and I still
I'm 26, and I still desperately needed this blessing. Thank you.
The same for me ! betclic
The same for me !
betclic
amen.
amen.
Beautiful
Beautiful. I'm keeping this line close, "Choose carefully, for what shames you now may serve you one day. And what serves you now may one day make you ashamed." Those two sentences could have made all the difference in my life.
Once again, you've done it.
Here, just a short time ago, you were "seeking RLP." Granted, this doesn't have the sharp edge that some of your early works had, but this has all of the heart and then some. I have two little girls, 5 and 3. I hope to one day have words as beautiful and full of meaning and life-giving as these. If not, I may have to steal these for myself. Beautiful writing, Gordon. Simply beautiful. Thank you. And thank you to your daughters, and to Jeanene, who allow you to share them with us through your writing.
Thank you. And thank you to
Thank you. And thank you to your daughters, and to Jeanene, who allow you to share them with us through your writing.
accelerated bsn - loan deferment - student loan deferment
Spot on.
Wow, thank you for sharing this. I too am a young woman who needed to hear this blessing. Now for the grace to live it...
when i saw Dr. Seuss book
when i saw Dr. Seuss book laying beside your bed. I know you have one foot in each world. Come to me now and receive my blessing.
Well Done
Gordon:
A friend of Mark Roberts and Dale Bruner here. As the father of 14 and 17 year old daughters, well said.
I plan on plagiarizing and modifying your wonderful words to my own girls.
Grace and Peace to you and your family.
Perhaps some day we will meet at Laity Lodge.
Wouldn't it be cool if we
Wouldn't it be cool if we met at Laity Lodge when Dale & Kathy were there?
I want to send this to my
I want to send this to my Dad because I think this would be just as helpful to him as it would be to the 15 year old me. This is about you just as much as its about your daughter
It's just awesome! teletext
It's just awesome!
teletext holidays - lanzarote weather - waterless cookware - calphalon nonstick
It's just awesome! teletext
It's just awesome!
teletext holidays - lanzarote weather - waterless cookware - calphalon nonstick
What a Blessing
Gordon,
I so do wish that someone had said these words to me years ago. Even now, at 31, they still resonate with me, because I now have people who will say very similar things to me. There are finally people in my life who will tell me how special I am--in whom I also believe their sincerity.
What a blessing to have found this. You can be sure that my friends with daughters will get a link to this--and that I'll save a copy for my own daughter, someday.
Thanks for sharing this.
Reply
She'll like college so much more.
Ginnifer Goodwin
Home School
Reply
I saw the Dr. Seuss book laying beside your bed. I know you have one foot in each world. Come to me now and receive my blessing.
GED Program
Really I plan on
Really I plan on plagiarizing and modifying your wonderful words to my own girls.
Grace and Peace to you and your family.
One boy will see you. He
One boy will see you. He will see you in the middle of the noise and the energy and the hype and the crowds.
regards, mini games
Wouldn't it be cool if we
Wouldn't it be cool if we met at Laity Lodge when Dale & Kathy were there?
honesty is the best policy,
honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
i don't know how many high
i don't know how many high school girls i know have fallen into this trap. they see that what they currently have physically serves them well and makes them feel accepted, maybe even loved. what they don't see is how they are being manipulated and, dare i say, used. it hurts my heart to see them fall into this trap.
VANCL
Mobile Games
Mini Games
thank you for this letter. i think of my own daughter who is almost one and fear for her future. i guess after working with youth i see her future differently...
Beautifull
There is nothing like the love of a parent to his child. This is a love that accompanied with great fear and great happiness.
Alaskan Husky
That was a clear and
That was a clear and beautiful reading.
Having read it from the
Having read it from the point of view of a girl looking to pass 000-141 and 000-150 and as many certification exams as possible, it feels great to get across a reading that reminds you of the feelings of good days when perhaps passing the 000-180 was the biggest joy to a young girl and her daddy. Thanks for remembering me of great times when everything looked different.
I am not in to this
I am not in to this religious things but this was readable.
these words are great. thank
these words are great. thank you for sharing this!
very helpful
Thanks for the info. I found it really useful.
There is nothing like the
There is nothing like the love of a parent to his child. This is a love that accompanied with great fear and great happiness. شات الرياض
I hope things gets better
I hope things gets better from now on. Blessing is a great thing.
Oh fond memories. History is
Oh fond memories. History is what determines us. With knowledge of our history or others' histories, we learn about our or others traits and styles. This is exactly what A href="http://www.learn2holdem.com/poker-software-reviews/texas-calculatem-review.htm">Calculatem does. With great speed and precision and this is why it great to review it.
But the idea of a young
But the idea of a young woman hiding her true self in order to be accepted - that happens to almost all young women. Young men too, certainly. I do think women in our culture face some unique pressures to conform to some vision of womanhood that is handed to them by the people around them.film izle
online film izle
film seyret
porno izle
thanks this post,very good
suppervideo.com
xizlex.tk
utangac.org
cdcim.com