No essay tonight. No fancy words or crafted paragraphs. I want to let go of that. Here's what's happening in my life.
Tom came to church on Wednesday night. We ate together in my office and talked. He's going through all the things you might imagine for a man who has lost everything but his health.
I was glad he came. I hope he finds a refuge with us.
Saturday night I went to the Flower Children worship service. I'm going to drop by now and then to let them know we're praying for them. Now that Charlie has died, his wife is the interim pastor.
The parking lot was pretty sparce. They're going to have a rough time surviving, I think.
Charlie's wife shared something of her grief with the congregation. There was a real moment Saturday night where she opened her heart. That moment can never be captured in words. I was tempted to try, and I'm ashamed to say that while she was speaking I was trying to think of a way to write it down.
That kind of disconnecting from life to think about writing is a real problem for me. I don't know what to do about it. Maybe nothing. Maybe naming this demon is all you can do.
And I'm leaving Monday morning at 5:30 am to drive across the state for a funeral. One of our deacons lost her mother last week. Six of us from the church are making the trip.
I'm losing the whole day, and I had been looking forward to writing. But tomorrow will be for K. and G., so I guess you won't hear from me until Tuesday or maybe Wednesday.
See what simple words I use tonight. These are my words. No clean edges or smooth transitions. It's only just me. This is how I am in unguarded moments.

rlp