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Thanks for posting this. Sadly, it seems that most of Christianity has become just that - getting people to sign on the dotted line. What's worse is that so many sign without reading the fine print, that is, the little doctrines and dogmas that their churches require if they're to be considered "good Christians."

I'm content with just trying to be a good person first. And if anyone asks, I'll tell them that I'm a Christian-raised with Buddhist and pagan tendencies. I don't know if I'm going to Heaven, but that's not my call. I'd rather worry about leaving this place better than I found it, rather than sweating out where I'm headed once I'm gone.

I so know Foy's position. I've been on the receiving end of that question more times than I can count. Every time it happens, I"m struck by how horribly insincere it is. I don't believe for a minute that the questioner actually cares one whit about the salvation of the person across the table from them. All they seem to care about is that they believe the exact same form of Christianity that they do. Invariably if I try the, "Gee, thanks for asking, but I'm happy being Catholic," line of diffusing it, I have to put up with "evangelizing" as to why my faith is wrong. I don't pull the Pius X hardline "no salvation outside of the Church" with them. Why do they feel the need to browbeat me into their beliefs? And that's when I get really angry.

It's the assholes that ruin it for everyone, I know, but it's because of them I cringe every time religion comes up among some of my evangelical in-laws. I don't want to hate their beliefs, since I"ve got to get along with them. I don't want things to escalate, but it's damn hard finding a common ground sometimes, especially when they don't see my faith as valid.

http://bigumuse.blogspot.com

I saw all the signs when Dwayne first came on the scene. Diligent little guy. Poor Foy, he knows too much, like the ex-spy who comes in from the cold and now just cannot, for the life of him, discuss Peace in the Middle East or second shooters on grassy knolls or whatever. How can you deal when you were God's mouthpiece and now your lips are sealed?
Old Poet

Thanks for this. I like Foy. I like his anger and confusion and despair. It's honest.

I've been in that position too many times. Sometimes when the person on the other end of the question is someone I taught the questions to when they were a teenager. I still haven't found a good answer, but I usually get angry and even when I try to be nice it doesn't turn out well.
I thought the end of this story was a bit depressing and unresolved, but then maybe Foy hasn't found the right answer yet, either. Kind of makes me wish there was a part 3.

I used to be Dwayne.

Then somewhere along the line, before I could even articulate what it was, something about my "manic evangelism" started to feel "off." It felt like friendship-with-strings-attached. So I stopped being Dwayne and now just hope that I can learn to live my life as a Christian without also coming off as a total jerk.

Well said, Preacher. Thanks.

Thank you. That was excellently written.
I'm young really, 17, and I've never really though about this before. I've only recently reached a point where I have any solid idea of what I believe, and it's not much like a lot of common religions. I'm not ashamed of that, I don't feel I've sold out, taken the easy path. A lot of what I believe now is harder than my old traditional views were. I'm not ashamed.
I believe what I believe. I'm not ashamed, I'm proud.

I've never stopped to think about this though. How would I react? How should I react? People shouldn't go around pushing their beliefs onto others, but then again if they really believe then how can they not? How can they spend time with people, care about people, without offering them a gift such as this?

Once again, thanks. It's been a real eye opener. Seems every piece you write is. Thank you.

He wanted to put his arms around Dwayne and say, “Let go of your need to get people to say things. Just live well and tell your story when asked.”

I'm at a place where being present in the world, present to the people I'm with, and to the feelings that arise in me, is what it seems to really be about. Right here, right now.

Reaching out and bringing someone into the present, even if they think that they are in the present ("Repent NOW (so you'll be okay later.)" isn't being fully here in my opinion.) is the hardest line to take. To me Dwayne's stance as you describe it is like saying to someone that they should seek out God, and this is to bring them to the place where God is and where they can't help meeting. I was hoping Foy would give Dwayne that hug... :-)

Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

Ralf

I have been waiting for this installment. The first one had me thinking that Dwayne was just a blow-hard right at first but one that you could not help but like when given time. Then I felt it shifted a bit and Dwayne was real and making himself available to people. A bit like:

I Peter 4:8-11
"8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

And in this installment I could see both sides but in the end I felt Dwayne was genuine and doing as we all are commanded by Christ. Matthew 28:18-20.

Yes Grace and Love covers many sins, but Jesus was full of GRACE and TRUTH. John 1:14,17. And I see this in Dwayne though he struggles with it as much as we all do .... hard for us to be full of grace and truth at the same time...so we try to balance grace and truth.

I look forward to the next installment of Foy. Thanks RLP!

-Dr. Bubba

"Just live well and tell your story when asked.”

good plan.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

if we truly believe the good news, it is really quite impossible not to share it. yet, it is so hard. people readily assume we have a hidden agenda. it is not always the case. i am a believer and i have never befriended anyone for the sake of trying to convert them. i am living by the "live well and tell your story when asked" plan. when God is a very intregal part of my life, it's difficult not to include him in my conversations. there is no right or wrong way to share except for the obvious. it depends on the level or our relationship with the other party and how much we understand that person. one of the ways i share is that I talk alot about God in relation to my own life in my blog but my purpose is first and foremost is journaling my own journey, not about sharing with the intention of converting anyone. if people read it and felt drawn to know God more, than that's the work of the Holy Spirit. I just write honestly and the rest should be taken care of.

ally

St. Francis said - preach the Gospel at every opportunity and if necessary use words.

Good advice I think.

ScoG Blog
www.blogsprogress.blogspot.com

I really liked this, the tension behind that silent response. My last church was in the bible belt and this question is a particularly irksome to me. My favorite answer is, "that's really none of my business." Which is to say that what happens after I die was never up to me. That's why I loved this: "Fine, come on into heaven since you said the sinner’s prayer when you were nine, but I must say I’m very disappointed in you, Foy.”
Since when did the point of Christianity morph into some version of Dante's Divine Comedy instead of the kingdom life that Jesus invites us to live? Rhetorical question.

But there’s no way he will hear me. This is what he’s been told, and this is what he believes. There’s no way for him to be saved except to go through this from the beginning to the end. He can’t hear anything else. I never could.

Beautifully articulated. There is no finer desperation known to man. You can spend an entire lifetime (and a generous amount of your spiritual, emotional, and mental health) trying to connect to a person when you know (from experience) exactly how - and why - anything you say is going to be systematically dismissed.

I was Dwayne. I am Foy. The only time in my life that I felt as though I could effectively communicate with both was the exact moment of the transition. I wouldn't trade where I am now for the world, but a large part of the fallout that results from finding yourself is the loss of the ability to be one with those who hold the beliefs you once espoused.

Thank you for a thought-provoking morning. God bless.

--b

I've been a Foy several times, back when I was young. That was when my understanding of Christianity, spiritual maturity and God's promises were just about nil. I was an easy target for Satan to seduce with glitzy Humanism and the occult.

Poor Foy just didn't understand that even the good things we do have to be done only with God's permission through God's guidance. He knows what is the loving thing to do -- and he loves us, too. His yoke is easy; our own self-made yoke can kill us.

Those that fall away from the faith are the worst detractors of the faith. They are immunized from the faith. That is why Jesus told us to go out of our way to seek out the stumbling brethren.

And I have seen so many churches pretend someone went to another church when they stop coming to our church. It's easier to do that than to admit our koinonia is inadequate.

"It was as if Dwayne had hoisted a live sea turtle onto the tabletop, then sat back waiting for Foy to do something."

This had me laughing, but it is such a great simile. It describes exactly how I feel when I witness a conversation like this. I have a coworker who simply asks "Are you a Christian" to some of our other coworkers. With him it is a simple inquiry, usually followed by an invitation to his church, but not in a pushy way. Yet, I can't help but feel extremely uncomfortable imagining what is going on in the minds of both of the people involved.

Not long ago in my life, I felt the intense guilt of being personally responsible for the soul of each person I came in contact with. Luckily I was not bold enough (which is touted as a deficiency in such Christian circles, but which I view as something that has saved me from owing a lot of people apologies). There are a few people who my "concern" led me to give tracts to, or write letters that I just felt I had to write. I feel like now, even years later, I owe them an apology for the way I approached it, and hope they know that my intentions were good. So I guess I empathize with Dwayne's character, but now see things from Foy's point of view.

Kevin http://barrettk.blogspot.com

I started reading and thought I might not get through the sea-turtle on the table image. But then, I couldn't stop reading. What a beautiful and rare gift you possess. Thank you for this... for the skill in the writing as well as the content.
--orangeblossoms
allthings2allpeople.blogspot.com

Thank you RLP for your writing. I was astonished when I read the sentence about the little diagram of God on one side of a chasim and us on the other with a cross as a bridge. When I was a teenager a sincere, well meaning friend of mine wanted me to do the whole 'let Jesus into your heart' thing, writing me a note and drawing the picture. I thought it was something that she had just learned in her church. I really wanted to be like her and trust in all the formulas of Christianity, but no matter what I tried, I simply couldn't get there. I had too many questions. I was never a Dwayne, not quite a Foy, but eventually got to a point where I could love God through the questions and not always be wondering what the hell is the matter with me that I couldn't just have faith. I've found out that for me faith includes the questions, and is not a tidy one time declaration. Thank you again for writing. You help many people along the way.

Man, does this bring back memories. I grew up in the evangelical church (Presbyterian, of all things) and I know the awful burden of having to save everyone's soul. Foy's thoughts during this are like a flashback for me. So well-written, Preacher... thanks.

Joey (the token Jew)

Who drinks coffee with a straw?

I like the title, though. I like it a lot. I've never made the connection before but my reaction to "the question" is exactly the same as my reaction to the question: "do you have enough life insurance?"

I wonder why we all feel so alone. I know I do most of the time and I am a believer. I wonder what is missing?

I feel awkward when fellow Christians simply assume I subscribe to their brand of faith and ask "So, when were you saved?"

I've heard a story about somebody who once answered that question with "33 A.D."

I think I'll use that answer the next time someone asks.

That was Reinhold Niebuhr's answer too. In my tradition the answer is: "From the foundation of the world" Ephesians 1:4-5

RLP,
Through my first year of seminary you've been a great breath of fresh air. Today was my last Intro to the New Testament class, and it ended with the professor telling us how he pastored his way through his second masters degree and doctrate. One night he recieved a call that one congregant was killed by his neighbor over a property dispute. Two weeks later, the widow called him asking if he could help her forgive her neighbor. He told us he knew more about reading and discerning texts than she ever would, but she knew more about faith than he ever could. I kind of see a link between that woman and Foy.

The story about the little boy witnessing to his friend; did that happen to you? It seems so authentic.

..."And I don’t have anything to give anyone anymore, except for things of the body"
As usual your writings take you along in a single breath to the end of the story; as usual your words go smooth, deep, thoughtful; but so far they have never made me to come to tears...

another Foy

RLP, If you haven't read The Gospel Blimp, 1961?, (also made into a movie)you should. A parable about enthusiastic evangelicals bent on spreading the gospel. Vic

Lovely story - I'm getting very fond of Foy but I felt for poor short sighted, well intentioned Dwight too. And, as always, appreciated your writing hugely.
Thanks rlp :-)

I see two types of witness' in the world.

(1) The Multi-level Marketing types. These are the more insincere Evangelicals that have Preachers and Churches sending them on missions to win souls. I had a guy actually draw a diagram with circles, much like the one I used to draw for people back when I was trying to sway people into signing up for Amway. The ironic thing about the whole experience (much like in this story) is that they guy witnessing to me never stopped to first ask if I knew Christ. He was so focused on the numbers and the speech and the recognition he might get when relaying the story on Sunday to his buddies. These are the insincere types that often make people run for the hills.

2) Relational Witnessing is the type that I try to be. And as such, I have no goal in mind about numbers. I am open about my faith and invite questions if people have any. As such, I might have actually witnessed to a handful of people and I'm really not sure if any conversions ever took place. And that's the rub. Both styles fail to garner any guarantees. And who knows? The Amway types may actually be more effective in the long run. I just can't be that guy!

To paraphrase a common theme taught by my former Pastor: “We can only plant seeds. God is the only one that can change the heart.”

I love this story - I definitely identify with the tension, the earnestness of Dwayne's position and Foy's turmoil. So so true.

This story (and the discussion in the comments) actually makes me think of a song by Dar Williams - "Teen for God" - which talks about a story similar to Foy's: earnest faith transformed and challenged by the realities of trying to live it. I heard her perform it in concert, and in introducing it she talked about the danger of seeing yourself as a "lightening rod for God" - you're going to get burned.

lyrics here: http://www.darwilliams.net/music/tabs/teenforgod.html
and Dar talking about the song here: http://www.darwilliams.com/media.html