I'm a baptist. What do I know from rosaries?
Nothing really, which is why it made perfect sense when my friend Paul, who works at Viva
Books,
saw me holding one and said, "Do you even know what to do with that
thing?"
"Yes," I said a little defensively. But the
truth is, I had no idea. All I knew about rosaries I learned from the movies and
from Steve Cuellar, my friend who lived across the street when we were kids.
Steve
went to a Catholic school and once told me a joke about rosaries.
"How do you pray the rosary when you're in a
hurry?" he asked.
"I don't know," I mumbled, trying to remember
what a rosary was.
"Big bead, little bead, little bead, little
bead, little bead," he said with a giggle.
I had NO Idea what he was talking about or why
it would be funny. So
Steve patiently explained that they prayed the "Hail Mary" or the "Our
Father" for each bead.
"You pray the what what and the what?" I said, for I had
no idea what those prayers were.
Fast forward to a few months ago. RLP reader R.G. wrote me and asked if he could send me a rosary that he had made
himself. His idea was for me to give it to someone who
needed one. On an impulse I wrote back and asked if I could have it for myself.
I felt the need for a little praying, and I wondered if the beads might help me
focus.
"Sure," he said. "I'll send you two. One for
you and one for someone else who needs one."
About a week later a little
package arrived with two rosaries in it, each in its own crocheted pouch. Now I ask you, is there anything scarier than a
baptist with a
rosary? Well, maybe a baptist sitting in a Catholic church, eyes
tightly shut, rosary in hand, chanting, "Big bead, little bead, little bead..."

The rosary RG sent me
Now the thing is, as a baptist, I'm not much into
Hail Marys. So I decided to make up my own little prayer routine. Catholic
rosaries have a cross or crucifix, a medallion, 6 dividing beads that are set
apart or larger, (The big beads in Steve's little joke) five sets of ten beads,
and a set of three beads.
This baptist takes a deep breath, closes his eyes,
and quotes
Jesus' version of the shema, the
beatitudes, the
model prayer,
Micah 6:8, prayers for the first ten people who
come to mind, prayers for family, prayers for the three parts of my life
(writer, pastor, family guy), prayers for the three sisters, a prayer for
Jeanene and I, and I close by holding the cross and repeating these
words of Jesus: "If anyone would come after me,
let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever gains his
life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will gain it. And what
will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his life."
I don't
know why, but it embarrasses me a little to admit that I even kiss the crucifix
when I'm done. <cringing> I know... kinda corny but anyway, yeah, I do it.
I've always had such a hard time staying awake and
attentive in my praying. The beads help me somehow, so now I'm a rosary carrying
baptist minister with a blog and a vulgar mouth.
If that ain't ecumenical, I don't know what is.
I found a credit card rosary and bought it just
because it was so funky. It was only a dollar. Ever seen one of these? It's
supposed to be a rosary for the modern world. A thin line of metal with soldered
bumps on a flat piece of plastic.

I don't think so
I think I'll stick with my beads. I like the feel
of them. I like the way I feel holding them. I like listening to the sound of my
chanting voice and feeling the rhythm of my own breathing.
"Big bead, little bead, big bead, little bead."
Thanks, R.G.,
rlp