Milton

January 10, 2006 - 10:27am

What I remember about Milton is he was always the coolest, edgiest minister in the world. Seriously, there was no competing with him. You thought you were hip until you saw Milton in his high-top Chuck Taylor's, wearing a batman mask and cramming an entire hamburger in his mouth, a la John Belushi, while hundreds of kids pounded on the church camp lunch tables to show their appreciation.

And I don't mean to suggest that he is trendy. NO! He is Milton. He's been wearing Converse Chuck Taylors since they first came out in the sixties or whenever. These shoes go in and out of style about every ten years, but Milton keeps wearing them. Some decades he is hip; others he is just...Milton.

True story: Milton got married in his Converse tennis shoes. Tux and tennis. And I don't mean to suggest that the wedding was some outdoor, silly affair. Church wedding, serious, everyone dressed up, and Milton in his tennis shoes.

Of course Milton would be the one to move to Boston with his equally cool wife, decide that ministry was best done by teaching English to inner city kids, get rid of his cars, let troubled kids live with them in their cool, 1865 row house, adore schnauzers, make candles by the beach, and become a serious cook and writer.

The only time I got to Boston I remember Milton making his own spaghetti noodles one at a time, disdaining those who would buy their noodles at a store. About every 10th noodle he threw on the floor for his dog, who was getting a little chubby as I recall.

Milton and I seem to connect every few years, for whatever reason. And I wish that my commitment to life and truth could be as courageous as his. But there is only one Milton. Accept no substitutions.

And now Uncle Milty has a blog. A cooking blog, to be exact. It's brand new, just a few entries. Knowing Milton, it's going to be something I won't want to miss.

Milton, you always were the man.

rlp

Submitted by dont eat alone on January 10, 2006 - 12:25pm.

thanks for the kind words, gordon -- but it was you who first brought us the tainted clam.

peace, my friend
uncle milty

Submitted by rlp on January 10, 2006 - 12:42pm.

Oh yes, the tainted clam. For the rest of you, I used to produce the church camp newspaper. I did my own horribly drawn comic strip. My superheros were sort of B-level chaps. Not unlike what Ben Stiller brought to life later in "Mystery Men."

Possibly the two worst characters were the Tainted Clam and his sidekick, Spam Boy. Tainted clam had a clam head with flies buzzing around it, while Spam Boy, being made entirely of spam, was always followed by a pack of ravenous dogs nipping at his heels.

Submitted by spidey on January 10, 2006 - 1:17pm.

That is absolutely hilarious! Do these comic strips still exist???

Submitted by rlp on January 10, 2006 - 1:43pm.

yes. I have them.

Submitted by kevinjbowman on January 10, 2006 - 1:55pm.

RLP,

Milton's RSS feed.. as well as all blospot feeds is his address/atom.xml by default. So in his case it is http://donteatalone.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Submitted by Lisa in Austin on January 10, 2006 - 5:13pm.

Was it Disney who said, it's a small world after all? I went out with Milton once or twice back in the 80s, having met him through my friend Ken Hugghins. Thanks for bringing back some fun memories for me and connecting me to Milton's blog.

Submitted by Anonymous User on January 11, 2006 - 12:37am.

Is Spam Boy anything like Sponge Bob? Reg in Waco

Submitted by rlp on January 11, 2006 - 7:37am.

Little bit. Yeah. Square head made of spam.

First, these were one box comics. There wasn't a lot of action. Just introducing a group of weird characters. It's not very good and the two of them, for example were only in two cartoons. One to introduce them, the other when all my characters went on strike because of how badly I drew them.

Submitted by Anonymous User on January 12, 2006 - 11:07pm.

Wow, food and religion in a blog! my dream combination! thanks for sharing him with us!
Sozzled