I'm trying so hard to find something nice to
say about
Sevierville, Tennessee.
Trying....trying....trying....
Nope. There's nothing nice to say. What a
horrible place is Sevierville. I'm sure the people of the original town are nice
enough, but the town is no longer in their control.
Sevierville is nestled in the Smoky Mountains of
Tennessee, surrounded by stunning beauty and a national park. You would think
that this natural beauty would be the focus of the town, but it
is not. Instead, Sevierville has become the
most awful collection of outlet stores, themed buffet restaurants, melodramatic dinner
theaters, tourist shops, flashing signs, and general
tackiness that I've ever seen.
Everywhere you look in Sevierville, bloated
tourists are rushing from the buffet line to the outlet malls and back again. No
sales gimmick, gaudy sign, or alliteration-laden jingo is too cheap or
over-the-top for the streets of Sevierville. And judging by the dreadful,
bumper-to-bumper traffic that stretches the full length of the town, it's
working pretty well for them. While your car inches forward you can gawk at the
action taking place at one of the go-cart tracks or watch
commercials flashed from expensive signs, begging you to visit Jerry Bob's
toupee and gospel pickin jamboree. Buffet included. Kids eat free.
I'm telling you, it was one of the most
depressing things I've experienced in some time. I COULD NOT WAIT to get out of
Sevierville. Well, actually I could wait. I had to wait since it took an hour
and 45 minutes to drive the 15 or so miles from Sevierville to the Interstate.
But while I was trapped in Sevierville, I
thought I'd take a few photos. No indigenous Seviervillians were harmed in the
taking of these photos. The truth is, none could be found. Perhaps they are
extinct.
I chose what
appeared to be the most embarrassingly awful of the outlet stores to
sample, just to get a feel for the town. This store is filled with
over-priced gadgets like the Batter Pro, which batters food in 10
seconds.
|
A
couple of things caught my eye in a convenience store. First, can it be possible
that the inhabitants and visitors really like Mountain Dew this
much? An entire case was dedicated to this caffeine-laden drink. And if you'll
notice, the single case wasn't enough. The case next to it has a couple of rows
of Mountain Dew as well. Second, ketchup flavored potato chips. It's a nice
idea, I guess. Or you could just dip them in ketchup yourself.
These guys were out on the strip,
advertising the big Jesus show at the Miracle Theater. There were camel rides
for the children out front, and the legendary country and western band,
"Alabama" has its own steak house right next door. Ride a camel, see a miracle
show, and eat a steak - all in the same parking lot.
Click for larger image
The Miracle
Theater's 30-foot-tall sign includes moving video clips and
can be seen from several blocks away. Miracles can be
witnessed at 2 o'clock and 8 o'clock weekdays.
Click images for larger view.
Well, perhaps that's enough
bashing of Sevierville. But seriously, it was so disheartening to see a
beautiful mountain town transformed into Tackyville. A friend of mine lived
near Sevierville some 25 years ago. She tells me that it used to be exactly
what you wish it was now. A sleepy little mountain town resting in the bosom
of the Great Smoky Mountains™.
rlp
Tomorrow -
a small wedding in the Smoky
Mountains. Why we came to Tennessee.
