We left Sevierville and drove up into the
mountains on Sunday morning to see our friends married. As we left the town
behind, I found myself relaxing. The city streets gave way to mountain roads.
Small farms and aging barns were scattered here and there. Vegetation pressed
in tightly on either side the road as though the mountain was trying to take back
what it had lost. Everything was green and wet and rich and fertile. We saw that it was good and a good place to get married.
I said to Jeanene, "Isn't it interesting that
they pronounce the town, "severe-ville."
We met our friends there in the mountains. We
hugged them and talked about everything. Ron and Erin moved among us, laughing
and talking. The contrast between the mountains and the town below was so severe
that it hung in the air like something you can smell. It made you light-headed.
Then there was the wedding. It reminded me
of things I have learned over the years about weddings. Listen. You don't
have to give in to the sharks of the love industry. You really don't. And it's
easy. Just say no. You do not have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars
on dresses and caterers and flowers and banquet halls and fancy cakes and the like. There are sharks
out there waiting to sell these things to you. They would have you
believe that the beauty and meaning of your wedding will be found in the
trappings. Do not believe them. They are liars.
Now if you have the means, and a fancy
wedding is important to you, that is well and good. But do not think that you can buy
a beautiful and meaningful wedding. Real beauty and meaning are not
for sale. Never have been. And if you try to buy what cannot be bought, you may
not know when to stop trying. If you pass the point of diminishing returns, your affair
will come off looking like a king trying to buy the moon.
But I speak mainly to those of modest means and
sincere desires. What you want cannot be bought, but it can be had if you seek
it with passion. I have officiated at many weddings over the last twenty years.
In all of those years, there are two that stand out in my mind. Both
were surprisingly simple and elegant. One of them took place this last weekend
in the Smoky Mountains. I'd like to tell you about it.
Let's begin by listing the things that were left out of this wedding. I want to be careful here. None of these are
inherently shallow or in bad taste. Not at all. The point is, the bride and
groom did
not feel any obligation to include things in this wedding that did not appeal to
them.
- There were no bridesmaids and groomsmen
wearing useless dresses and rented tuxedos and trailing off to the right
and the left of the altar.
- There was no best man or maid of honor.
The only ones up front were the bride, the groom, and the minister.
- The parents apparently bought no special
clothing for this affair. They wore suits and dresses from their own closets, and they looked wonderful.
- There were no fancy decorations. The
wedding was outside under a small, wooden gazebo. The beauty of the natural surroundings was far more
than any of us could comprehend. Flowers and other soft things were growing
everywhere, all perfectly matched and hanging from the trees with that
casual elegance that artists seek.
- They did not invite everyone they know and
everyone their parents know. They invited their families, of course, and
each invited a few very close friends. The only people present were those
who would truly celebrate with them, and that was enough.
- Complications. Because the wedding was
simple and those in attendance were relatively few, things were very
uncomplicated. Everything went well because there wasn't a lot that could go
wrong.
Now let me tell you what the wedding had that
made in wonderful and elegant, in my view.
- Simple beauty. I don't want to pound the
simplicity drum too much, but...yeah. Simple is good. Simple is also affordable
and accessible to all of us.
Simple allows the real meaning of the day to shine. This wedding was
delightfully simple.
- Intimacy. Because the wedding was small
and because all of the people there were either family or close friends,
everything was very intimate and personal. You can feel intimacy. It's hard to describe it, but you
know it when you feel it.
- This was a fun wedding. The night
before, everyone had dinner together. Family met friends and friends met
family. The groom cooked the meal, and everyone sat around talking for a
long time. People laughed. People told stories. People connected. The day of
the wedding was fun. It was relaxed, and you knew the people around you.
- Meaningful. This wedding meant something
to all who were present. We know Ron and Erin, and we know their commitment
to each other and to their faith. We know that this marriage stands a good
chance of being a forever thing. They are no certainties in this regard, but
this union had a good start. The day was taken seriously. Promises were made
before God and to each other. Loved ones bore witness. It meant a lot to us.
I found myself looking at Erin and imagining
the three sisters getting married someday. I'm going to be very flexible at that
time. Whatever Jeanene and the girls come up with will be fine with me. But they
couldn't do it any better than it was done this last weekend in the Smoky
Mountains.
Congratulations, Ron and Erin. It
was a pleasure. Truly.
rlp
