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Thanks, Gordon! I'm linking this over at the Holy Communion online course I'm auditing... hopefully you'll hear from some of the group there.
--Amy F.

I am crying...weeping with laughter. Holy cow, Gordon. That was great. Thank you.

Tripp Hudgins

http://www.anglobaptist.org

My mother-in-law and other family members have a condtion called Celiac disease which is a severe allergy to gluten in any form; even the tiny amount encountered in the typical piece of bread given at communion can set off a whole panoply of symptoms in sensitive individuals. So while they may not taste much better than the cardboard wafers, gluten free wafers have been a "God-send" for her and others like her. Offering gluten-free wafers at communion has allowed Christ's table to be just a little more inclusive.

So what were you drinking with your wafers? For the full experience it seems it ought to be wine. Which is what I think your next taste test should be....what wine does rlp preacher recommend?

I'm with sozzled...rlp's great wine taste test would be fun to watch. But if not that, perhaps various forms of the consummate potluck dish?

Thanks, preach.

Sparks

See, I don't even think they look nice either.

I'm very fortunate that at my church they bake bread weekly and it's really delicious - wheat flour, a little oil, a little honey. yum. And it even looks like bread! They've perfected the recipe over the years, and at our parish weekend they even have a bread baking workshop.

I recently had a new communion experience at a church event.

It was an all-in-one communion thingy. You know how pudding cups are sealed with foil? That's kinda like this. Theres a plastic cylinder and you peel away the foil, and there's the wafer; peel away a second layer of foil, and there's the grape juice. (In the spirit of science, it was quite sour). Then you toss away the empty hull. I'm sure some feel it's important to reduce the number of human hands touching the elements, but, Dude. For me it reduces everything comforting and symbolic about communion and adds a heaping spoonful of cold and sterile.

Of course it's folly to let symbols distract from their meaning, but if given the option I'll take a hunk of real bread and and remember it as a normal, everyday meal that Christ elevated to something holy. While tossing a little plastic hull of packaging into a trash can certainly feels ordinary, I have a harder time making the leap to holy.

Thanks for braving the cottonmouth so others need not suffer. :)

I swear, the last three communion Sundays at the church we go to here, my daughter has not wanted to take the "bread" because it's exactly like those styrofoam wafers you tasted and makes her almost choke. The church before, we had fresh-baked bread all the time--which I might offer to do here, but this church is really big and so I hesitate. But it's true, what are we saying about Christ and his body with the bread (or alternates) we choose? I like my symbols to have some substance to them.

After a preacher friend of mine ran out of bread because of high attendance, we made her up an "emergency communion kit." A hot dog bun and a juicebox in a little fanny pack. Fits perfect under the robe!

There's a group of Benedictine nuns who make gluten-free hosts that aren't bad tasting, supposedly. The good hosts are those that're made by hand. Odds are you aren't going to find them in stores, either. I'm not sure where the ones we get are from, though, but they aren't that bad. In mass quantities they kind of taste like Doritos. (They're slippery little buggers, and 5 of them hit the floor once when I was setting up.)

The more stale they get--communion wafers do go stale eventually--the worse they taste, so yours may have been out of date code. Hospital hosts--they're designed to melt with no intervention from the recipient--are vile. There's a brand of communion wafers that are sold as snack food in Montreal.

You know, though, at the moment I'm receiving communion, I don't notice the taste (or much else.) As an EM I occasionally have to finish off the wine that wasn't consumed. While drinking that much socially at once (few slurps to a 1/4 of a glass) would make me feel the effects of it, in that situation I don't notice it at all. (I also don't get heartburn from the consecrated wine like I do unconsecrated wine. Go figure. It's definitely wine--12.5% alcohol.)
http://bigumuse.blogspot.com

This was a hoot! And with a wonderfully subtle but "biting" theological message at the end. Very creative. Thanks.

Ha, that whole sanitized Christian thing again. Let's not offend anyones sensiblities, even their tastebuds. Nice commentary Gordon...now how about a Welch's VS Wine vlog... Oh My, Heaven forbid.

Michael

Back in the day, as a Catholic first grader in 1960, we "practiced" during class for our First Holy Communion by trying to choke down spoonsful of plain peanut butter. When you're little, PB invariably gets stuck to the roof of your mouth and you have a heck of a time unsticking it--the same with those Communion hosts. And of course, it was considered sinful to stick your finger in your mouth to dislodge a stuck host. Or to allow one to EVER come into contact with your teeth. So when we'd mastered swallowing PB without it touching our teeth or the roof of the mouth, we were considered ready for First Communion.

Thanks for the memory, Preach!

Katy McKenna www.fallible.com

Ooo boy. I have never understood the bland host wafer thing. It's one of the few practices at my church I actively disike. (We, too, have started offering gluten-free hosts at one of our communion stations, to the great joy of some parishioners, so that's a good thing!)

Our new incoming rector has been in the habit of baking the communion bread for her parish each week. It's not likely a tradition she will be able to continue for us (3500!), but MAYBE we'll get better bread. I mean, bread that actually tastes like bread.

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep." He didn't say, "Let them eat styrofoam."

Pascale's Wager

Your conclusion turned this from awesomely funny into truly deep. Thank you.

We use Hawaiian bread at our church... Delicious!

Taste and see that the Lord is good, or not as the case may be!

Thanks for this, we have both 'normal' and gluten free bread to consecrate, and we break both and serve on plates where one doesn't touch the other!
But there is something very special about the breaking of bread, better when there is a crusty loaf to break than small pieces already cut up for consumption.

But the idea of an all in one communion tray, the Body of Jesus, pre-packaged and sterile for you! Well it sends shivers down my spine!

Enjoyed your post, shalom,
Louise.

There's just something hilarious about eating communion host like ritz crackers! I was cracking up!

There have been times when the group I worship with have used chips & salsa, oreos & milk, and even pizza crust and coke. I do believe Christ is present in the elements, but that has nothing to do with the elements. Christ is present among us as we gather at his table, regardless of what is being served.

notarev

I was sure I was going to hell for eating the communion bread from the refrigerator in the little pseudokitchen in the tiny church where I grew up. They were the tiny pillow Chiclet type with a strangely stale flavor, but I ate them with a disposable spoon in shameful hiding.

I do not know why communion wafers are starchy discs now. Someone in biodegradeable packaging must've come up with the idea.

Funny what stays with you. Born and raised Catholic in the late 50's, 60's. At 6 years old, choking down the First Communion Host because it was the Body and Blood of Christ and we couldn't touch it, couldn't chew it and had to fast for, at that time I think, 3 hours before receiving it. The memories and the teachings that surround that memory made me very nervous as I watched you pulling the Priest's hosts (sized for distance) out of the bag and chomping them down, commenting on their taste and dismissing them. And all the questioning, reading, searching, and praying I've done since my First Communion allowed me to smile, shake my head and say, "Amen" at the end of your lesson. Thank you.

A comment on the comments which I read while waiting for the video to download on my slow computer with its slow connection (0:24 seconds out of 6:31 so far...)

My church has communion every week: we pass trays with little cracker things the first Sunday of each month, and do intinction ("rip-n-dip") the other Sundays. When I asked why, I was told that when the church switched from monthly to weekly communion, the pastor couldn't convince the diaconate to fix communion every week, so he did it himself, and to save time, he just put a loaf of bread on a plate and filled one chalice of juice.

A few years ago I introduced gluten-free bread, since we had several members who couldn't eat the gluten. As people came forward and took a bite, you should have seen their faces! I guess I should have tasted it first. It really was awful. So now we have both kinds. Kinda interrupts the "one bread" idea, but it seems to be the best solution.

(Up to 0:41 seconds now. I may not make it... I gotta move to the city so I can get high-speed.)

Ah.. we Lutherans sometimes use real bread-- but the styrofoam is for (get this) the convencience of the altar guild (and no one in their right mind goes up against these folks, trust me.) WE do have common cup, at least... and I'm negotiating (after only two years at it) with my altar guild to use real bread...(my sacristan calls the wafers "fish food.") I loved the video (but was also startled at eating communion wafers like Ritz crackers...gail

you asked about the theological base -- my impression is that there's a basis for using *unleavened* bread (given that the Last Supper was during Passover), which is the rationale for the weird little wafers. maybe the styrofoam-like ones were invented before preservatives made decent matzoh have a shelf life... ?

As someone who has taken communion weekly with those wafers all my life, anything else, to me is how you view the wafers. I have been to churches that have served bread (or the worst in my personal experience--oyster crackers) and to me, I cannot equate actual store bought bread for the body of Jesus.

Perhaps, the reason for the difference is the meaning meant behind it. For example, for Catholics, we believe that the wafer and wine is the body and blood of Jesus. While other Christians use it to represent the meal, not the person. I could have that wrong but that sounds like a good reason for the differences.

Besides, I'm not so worried about the taste of what I'm doing but the meaning behind it.

It's always nice to see how others think of communion though.

Heya, Preach! :)

Not sure if you've seen the BBC series "The Vicar of Dibley"... but Dawn French (the Vicar) is always telling jokes to "Allison" (sorry, can't remember the actress' name). Allison rarely "gets" the jokes, which is part of the humor. Anyway, your post reminded me of one. (I'll paraphrase):

Vicar: Have you heard about the new 'healthy' communion wafers? They are lowfat, low carb, sugar free, and reportedly quite good for you.

Allison: No, I haven't.

Vicar: They're called "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus".

(Hilarity ensues... fade to black).

:) Val

P.S. Is the title really supposed to be "Communion Taste Taste" ~ like is that how Texans pronounce "test"? Hahahaha...

I was actually at a very "groovy" communion service back in the day where they served cupcakes with grape icing. They then released purple and white baloons. Doesn't add anything to the conversation but I thought it was pretty stupid.

Makes me re-think what we are doing. Thanks!

Last comments:
In chapel we serve communion several different ways:
Rip and dip.
Rip and sip.
Chip and dip.
Chip and sip.
(Just shorthand; we really don't mean to be sacrilegious.)

In our weekly communion service we will serve homemade bread (most of the time still warm from the oven) and homemade grape juice; both made from scratch by one of the members. We will use Welch's on occasion, but there is something sacrifical about offering the up elements that we have prepared personally, for use in the service.

And it should be about sacrifice; our liturgy reads "We offer ourselves as a holy and living sacrifice in union with Christ's offering for us." The lesser oblation of the offering of the tithes and elements are in union with the greater oblation of Christ's offering of himself for us.

Thus, we should offer the best of what we would personally put on our dinner table. Our first fruits, as it were. The thing on our table we would call bread or the staff of life (hopefully a grain product) and the fruit of the vine.

Holy Cow! I slipped into seminaryspeak. Sorry.

In my last church, we had the small pellets. You know, the ones that look compact like those wedding mints. I kept thinking, surely this is not the best way to glorify Christ's body in Communion. Glad to be back to real bread where I am now.

As another Coeliac I appreciate very much having gluten-free wafers available at Communion - particularly after the years of just having to by-pass the bread. Though I knew God was as present for me as anyone else, it was still jarring to hear the words, "though we are many we are one body, because we all share in one bread." Even though I'm not receiving a chunk of the same bit of bread now, it's still good to receive alongside everyone else.
Despite appreciating the G-F wafers I still think your concluding thoughts are really worth thinking about.

Forgot to sign in before posting my comment above, beginning "as another Coeliac..."
And thanks, Donandval, for the reminder of a classic 'Dibley' moment... though it's 'Alice' who never gets the jokes!

You made me laugh! I loved how, despite how bad they were, you ate several of each kind. Like they were potato chips......

Dude! That was great. I'll never serve those stupid pre-packaged communion chips again! I also love the tortilla idea. We have good sized hispanic population here.

we can also serve homemade bread that's gluten/wheat free - it tastes good and if baked before the service the smells reminds us that we are hungry - for God.

loved your idea of using tortilla - in Tallinn (UMC Russian service) they use local unleavened bread. I find that interesting too :)

Anybody who's had goldfish would recognize those wafers. We buy them pre-crumbled to feed to the fish!

this was classic. i always wondered why those things tasted like poo and why churches continually persist in using them.

Oh wow! this is so great! Can i add this to myspace!?

I remember a discussion in a church leader's meeting once where people were proposing that grape juice be used instead fo wine for those opposed to alcohol - Then it was suggested that we offered a choice.

One of the others mischievously suggested that we have a choice of bread such that we could offer, unleavened bread for those who see it more as a passover, wholemeal bread for those who think that otherwise we are not getting the whole blessing, oil baked bread for those who think the oil of the Spirit needs to be present at the communion, gluten free bread etc. It was quite hilarious at the time.

I wonder about gluten free bread though, maybe we should be looking to see the Lord healing those with gluten allergies so that they are able to partake in the one bread. I am sure that it is not His desire that they continue to live in fear of eating the wrong food. Not saying they have the allergies 'cos they have sinned or any stuff like that; but we as the Church should have expectations that are higher than worrying about which wafer to use :o|

A friend mentioned to me when she was watching this, the thought of the first communion, and Jesus saying in all seriousness 'This is my body broken for you …' and Peter taking a mouthful screwing his face up and saying 'Ewww this tastes like styrofoam!'

Bear

This really made my Friday. Funny, informative and thought provoking. You have got it all going on.
Love
Ellen

I am amazed!!! hahahahahah! a fat free communion bread??? Zero - everything/?? Very funny!!! Okay, I´ll be back - your site is sooo good!!!! love from Brazil!

Don't tell anyone, but when I was a kid, and Southern Baptist kid at that, I attended Christmas Mass and took communion. I know what those wafers taste, and believe you me, they go down a lot better with a glass of wine.

My Dad, a Catholic deacon in Seattle (http://briefnotes.blogspot.com) just commented to me, "It takes more of an act of faith to believe that these communion wafers are bread than to believe they're the body of Christ."

Gordon, this video is a trip. I could not help but laugh all the way through. You remind me of the little kid in the Emperor's New Clothes who yelled out, "Hey, he's naked!" Wafers may have their place in some places like Africa or the Philippines where bread is either not available or impossible to keep fresh long enough to get to the communion table.

Tortillas, pita, fresh baked as the liturgy unfolds. Yeah, real bread.

Dan

I thought it was a little odd (but funny) the way you didn't just take a little bit, or eat one, but you "wolfed down" two or three of each!

yeah, there's a lot of symbolism there between the real and original thing and what they've become through sanatization over the years.

keep challenging that religiousity and legalism,
-Kevin

Gordon, you know, most of the video blogs I've seen aren't funny. Yours are. And they have more substance than those communion host wafers, too!

My church uses matzoh for communion. Some I've been to use a homemade unleavened bread that's similart to a pie crust, but less rich. That's tasty!

The all-in-one cups mentioned are very useful for travelling; I know some have mailed them to family members overseas witht he military.

We used Wonder Bread and Grape Nehi soda from the convenience store across the street one night when no one remembered to bring the bread and Welch's.

Wafers and Wine: Precision is everything.

With the transsubstantiation (sp?) doctrine, Catholics can't just throw out the remaining "bread" and wine. The priest can't exactly invite people up for seconds. As an altar boy when I was a kid, I've had a stack of 8 to 10 crammed into my mouth. That had to be the record for "things sticking to the roof of a mouth." And chiseling away with a finger or three is not an option when you're up in front with hands folded piously. And the remaining wine...I recall that not too many drank the wine, especially during flue season. I've seen Eucharistic assistants light up red in the ears and cheeks from chugging the remains.

Oh, preach, that was classic. I've always wondered what people were thinking about when they invented those silly things. My kids used to sneak a few while my wife and I worked around the church. The Alter Guild ladies were always apalled. I couldn't figure out why they would want to eat them. I surely didn't.

Thanks for the advertising with the shirt.

Peace
Hook

...And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them saying "This is my body which is given up for you. Do this in remembrence of me."...

what about a review of the rapid communion wine dispenser?
http://rapidfill.com/

what about a review of the rapid communion wine dispenser?
http://rapidfill.com/

At my last church, the senior pastor brought in his bread machine and baked the bread in the sanctuary before church. The room was filled with the aroma.

At least now I know where the packaging peanuts go after we throw them out.

Peace,
Milton

Of course they all taste bad. You didn't have the full meal. Isn't it a rule that for every wafer, you must consume one pseudo-shot-glass of grape juice (or wine, if you're catholic or postmodern)?

Ever notice that they always make the communion glasses just small enough that you cannot "dip" the wafer?

No mixing of the elements...

This was interesting. In our church we use Matzoh, much better.
Heather

I've done it -- after reading RLP for quite a while, I've decided to join up. I can't resist anymore. Especially in this thread, I feel like I've walked into a room and instantly met people I "know" in some way -- Danny B. from Field of Dandelions, another person who reads "Going Jesus", Vicar of Dibley fans and of course RLP himself!

I haven't been able to see the video yet (very slow loading tonight) but the replies/observations had me in tears of laughter earlier today. I have to get this out of my system by Sunday, or I'll be giggling as I serve Communion. I don't think that would go over well. (Have not gotten "the risen Christ" or "rip and dip" out of my mind all day.)

My worst communion experience: Having to jump in as emergency backup deacon during an extended service that featured a choir performance. Normally we (the choir) take communion after an extended performance for good reason, as you'll see. So I served the congregation, took a wafer for myself without thinking, ran back around to the choir stall and missed the juice part. To my horror, for about a minute I was unable to get my tongue unstuck from the wafer stuck to the roof of my mouth! Happily, I wasn't a soloist or anything like that, but the choir director is making questioning faces at me as he's conducting and I'm gagging. I couldn't help it, the wafer was stuck just at the edge of the gag area. I can't stand up there in front of everybody and unstick the wafer with my finger, and I can't bend down from a standing position and get my water from under the pew, let alone take a big slug of water, during the closing moments of this performance. I finally got my tongue sort of unstuck, but it sounded like I was singing through peanut butter. To observers, I must have looked like I was thoroughly disgusted by our performance.

Oy.

Growing up in a Congregational church in Northern New England we went for years with little stale cubes of white bread that the deacons had cut up the night before (like crutons, but without the flavour). My last year before leaving for college the new pastor's wife would bake fresh whole wheat bread before the service & communiion was with warm bread. That made made a real impression on me.

I suppose that this is what happens when Christians stop believing that the Eucharist really is the body and blood of Christ. It's been a long time since I've heard communion discussed in such an irreverent manner.

It's always been about calories in versus calories out (burned), but everyone wants a faddish fix it seems. I've been having success lately following this simple rule: nothing with sugar, nothing with white flour. WBR LeoP

Allergies can and often do progress. You might not have severed reactions at first. But often it progresses to a deadly reaction. WBR LeoP

I WAS ONCE SERVED A GOLDFISH CRACKER AND A FRESH RED GRAPE FOR COMMUNION. STRANGELY ENOUGH, IT WAS WONDERFUL! IF YOUR HEART AND MIND ARE PREPARED TO TAKE COMMUNION, YOU WILL FEAST WITH THE LORD!

JESUS: "This is My Body, given for you..."
PETER: [breaks bread, takes a bite and gags] "Uhh, Master, what happened to 'My Flesh is food indeed'?"
JOHN [does likewise]: "Not to mention, 'Taste and see that the Lord is good'?"

Not much taste in those last two posts either