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It's hard to put into words. And I don't want to claim expertise in this. But as I've read it, the heart was the center of the Will and of spiritual decision making. I suppose one way to say it was that your heart was where you made your commitments. So to love God with all your heart would likely have meant something emotional, but more like a passionate commitment. Something like that.

Okay, I get that part of it (I think); unless I'm totally misunderstanding, it's what I just call "committing."

I know this is a tangent to what you're teaching in these videos, but if you wouldn't mind taking the tangent a little further: When one commits to God, what exactly is one committing to?

I've now used the word "committing" too many times in a row, and it's begun to look very odd.

Hi Keith,

I don't have the time to engage in this discussion with much back and forth, what with Christmas just days away. But here's something.

I think that when it comes to committing your life to God, it's a fairly individual thing. Every faith system ends up with individual belief. We share a basic approach and perhaps a set of doctrines, although the understanding of even our share doctrines varies, as you know.

But when you get to the bottom line of spiritual commitment to a concept like God, things get fairly individual.

For me - my commitment to God is a number of things. Keep in mind that I sat down, read your question, and banged this out immediately. I might write things differently if I had more time to think.

1. It is a fulfillment of a spiritual tradition of my people. I grew up in the church, and these are my people. And because I was always around what I would call healthy church people, I have a lot of sentimental attachment to our traditions. If that's ALL I had, I don't think it would be much, but yes, the sentiment is there. I have no reason to be either proud or ashamed of that. It is what it is, as they say.

2. My commitment to God is my own personal offering of thanks to whatever force or power is behind the reality of the Cosmos, a reality that is completely beyond our comprehension (Though we are learning more) The intelligence, force, power, whatever is the reason that everything exists. I lack words to describe that reality. It's almost as if I am admitting my own weakness and inability to ever understand the nature of reality. So I join in an ancient human way of saying thanks and offering reverance. I find this to be very meaningful to me.

3. My commitment to God has made me a better person. I am a very selfish man at heart. Selfish and indulgent. My selfish nature comes mostly out of the fact that I am deeply introverted. I'd just as soon let everyone do their own thing and stay out of my way so that I could read, write, play, and seek out pleasures. Following the spiritual disciplines of Christianity makes me a better man. This is something I know in my heart. I sometimes wonder if that's circular reasoning. Religion makes me adhere to religious values, hence I am a better person. I get that contradiction, but it doesn't mean much to me. I mean, I'm not sure where I get all of my ideas about what it means to be a good man, but my faith journey makes me more of that.

4. Finally, I am a stubborn son of a bitch. I'm deep into the Christian journey now, and I think I'll just see it through. Have you got something better to offer me? I'll listen, but I seriously doubt it. I mean, what can someone else offer me? A philosophy - a set of ideas that is cut off from living and calling me to better living? A philosophy that tries to reason me into living better? Another way of life, perhaps? I don't have any need to call Christianity the best way of living, but when done authentically, it is a GOOD way to live. And it is my way, and a way that I've given myself to.

Here's the last thing: I've given up the idea that I should convince you or anyone else to join me. I think that kind of thinking is a mistake. It is my calling instead to be as authentic and honest as I can. And if anyone wants to join me, then I am honor bound to be at their side, helping and loving and caring for them as they take up this journey with me. That's why I felt compelled to do these videos. This one person asked, and this person kind of melted my heart, you know? I found it impossible to say no, even though it gets away from my basic purpose behind rlp, which is to write and to write well.

That's the deal, as best I can write it quickly.

Well, you may have just banged that out, but it means something to me. Merry Christmas.

Oh my God, you have laid one of the big mysteries on me haven't you?

;-)

Again, not my purpose to get too deep here, but here are some thoughts. The idea that God's vengeance and destruction is mean and unfair is an idea that is completely modern. The ancients had no problem with God doing whatever God felt was right. And the prophets often warned of just that.

Well, sometimes living in evil ways does indeed lead to pretty terrible destruction. Not always, but sometimes.

And if a community is willing to look at this and attribute it to God's justice, that's the choice of any spiritual tradition. Judaism as reflected in the prophets certainly did this.

Now just because Jesus shows us another side of God, it does not mean that judgment isn't real. But from a Christian perspective, grace and forgiveness trumps vengeance. Perhaps we have learned some things about God along the way.

Rachel, you know, someone like you could really add to this. I feel so keenly my limitations as a Christian scholar. I use scholar loosely here. Ministers are scholars for their communities. But I want badly to treat the Jewish scriptures well. You and I know each other. Send me an email and let's talk about how we might work together. You might be able to post some suggestions about readin Torah.

Listen, I appreciate that. But when it comes to real live preacher, I'm okay making money as a writer and bringing in a little with the blog - I did quit a job to do this - BUT there are some things that just don't feel right to me right now. And putting ministry things online and hoping for subscriptions....ah.....

I just don't like the feel of it. My own community pays me a salary because I devote a lot of my life to the nurturing of our community. That feels right to me, or at least okay. But becoming a media minister doesn't feel right. At least not right now anyway. I hate to say never, but this is something I feel strongly about right now.

Funny thing about sermons. They work within a community, but I'm suspicious of them outside of a community. At our church, I preach in the context of my relationships with my friends. They know that if the text is hard, I'm struggling with it too. I can't fake it with them. They would know if I was being a hypocrite. But when you put a sermon in a book or tape or online, people hear it but they don't know me. So it's almost as if the content itself, the words, theology, analysis, delivery, whatever, is somehow sacred and spiritual. As if all someone needs is a little more information. As if that's all a sermon is, the delivery of content/information.

It's hard to explain, but for now I think I'll just write and blog as I have been doing with very occasional forays into things like this. However, I'm guessing that the reading the Bible series will be fairly lengthy. Maybe 10 or 15 videos.

Thanks though!