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I have a lawyer friend who is a Christian... if there can be such a thing... wink wink, ;)... anyway... he says that the truth is not always the best policy. He says that our American society has been raised on the "little white lie"... he says what if a young pastor asks you if they are a good teacher. Well, the truth might be, no, you suck as a teacher, but you tell him/her that yes they are a good teacher. He goes on to say that the pastor will get better as time goes on. So, honesty is not always the best policy in his book. I have never decided whether or not I agree with him... I just don't know.

Blessings.

One of the ways in which one can maximize cruelty to others is to tell the absolute truth in every situation. Sometimes, a little white lie is a kindness. Do you want to tell someone their child is ugly? Even if it's true?

Chuck Nolan

Truth-telling and truth-receiving both require great strength, but the latter is probably harder than the former.

It's important to remember that the truth that wounds is not the ONLY or the WHOLE truth. If we speak the wounding part of the truth, for truly selfless and compassionate reasons, we must also remember to tell the rest of the truth: the truth that heals, reconciles, strengthens, that brings joy and hope.

Pascale's Wager

Both of the responses thus far refer to what I would call subjective truth. This is in reality merely one's opinion. Evaluation of teaching ability and physical appearance depend very much on the perception of the observer. I would suggest that it is often better to keep one's opinion to one't self or deflect the question if you cannot be kind. On the other hand when it comes to objective truth, did such and such actually take place, etc. truth would seem to be the required response or if one prefers a polite refusal to comment. The latter seems the best path to avoid gossip. Likewise, revealing truth with malicious intent would seem to be poor practice. Perhaps, the benefit of truth comes mostly when we face and admit the truth about ourselves rather than about others.

H.Kay Rothkamm

What is truth?

Perhaps that is why we are said to be "brutally" honest or honest "to a fault" And why it is the "painful" truth or the "unvarnished" truth or the "cold hard" truth and why we must "face" the truth. Other than your quotation from scripture, positive references do not readily leap to mind. Thanks for the different perspective rlp.

H.Kay Rothkamm

Amen, Preach.

Truth. A Christian Lawyer that believes in American culture over the teachings of Christ.

Perhaps...it is best just not to say anything at all if the truth hurts.

Love and Truth go hand in hand. I do believe love never hurts...but in situations it does. So goes the truth. There are ways to be diplomatic. But I am sure Gordon...in the situation you were in...you were as diplomatic as possible until.....the real bare truth had to be told to resolve a situation. Christian Counseling can stink sometimes. We can avoid the truth...but then...the situation never gets resolved.

I have witnessed this over and over. Leadership avoiding the truth because it hurts..and situations never get resolved. Strong leadership can tell the truth and counsel with the truth.

People that flee it...never go forward or grow.

Peace,
MrJ

Love and Truth go hand in hand. I do believe love never hurts...but in situations it does.

see....truth is tricky....I am contradicting myself here.

Perhaps what I am trying to say...is that that we come across situations that the truth hurts it is best that we always walk in love..

Peace,
MrJ
www.sonrisecma.org/blogs/mrj

This essay had echoes of the 1 Corinthians 13 "love" chapter (love is patient, love is kind...)

I wonder - how does "telling the truth in love" blend and/or balance these two?

notarev

I know what you mean. Truth is really brutal at times.

I did write this a couple of years ago.

I've hurt others and myself when telling the truth -- let me know if you figure it out.

rev mommy

http://reverendmommy.blogspot.com/2005/01/truth-is-slippery.html

that is. Heh. No linking.

I use to be a hard core truth telling person, but there were times when people I love have been hurt by my righteous idea of truth. It hurt me to see these individual hurt resulting from me telling the truth. For the most part I tell the truth but there a times when the truth, or at least what I perceive as truth, does more harm then good. Not everything in this life is black and white but maybe there are times when a “white lie” is justified.

Sissela Bok wrote a book, “Lying, Moral Choice in Public and Private Life” were she writes at length about telling the truth.

gravellizard

John writes a great deal about truth. Pretty clear boundaries from him.

The dictionary calls a lie an intentionally false statement. I would also apply that on intentionally withholding the truth.

rlp, I don't think many of us can take on the chin with the truth all of the time. And at the same time I believe that, when faced with it, we have to put on our big kid undies and deal with it. If there's a problem with that, then it would be nice if we could help each other. Or even know how to help.

Truth is the highest priced item in the store. Jesus already paid for it. We just have to use it. It may be merciless, but we don't have to be. Though, there are times..........

Presbyterian Gal

A while ago, can't tell how long ago, I was unable to tell someone I love, the truth about me. Later, that truth was discovered by her. We are no longer together.

Maybe we would be not together if I told the truth before, but this hurts big time now. Wish I had been truthful before. Maybe I can try to be truthful now in her honour.

I wish I had an answer, as well, but I really don't. This is something I've been bumping up against lately, too. I wonder if we can't take a hint from postmodernists or the people at Vatican II with the whole notion of revealed truths. (Yeah I know the pomo notion of truth and revealed truths aren't exactly the same thing, but it's 2 a.m., and i'm on an insomnia binge.) On the one hand, I believe my denomination is true, otherwise I wouldn't stick with it. Yet I'm not about to go telling others that theirs is false. I've even learned a thing or two from everyone else. So which is it? Maybe we're using the wrong booleans, and it's more of a both/and instead of an either/or.

http://bigumuse.blogspot.com

"Always tell the truth but don't be always telling it."
TV pop psychologist some years ago in Atlanta.
I think he was Dr. Bert Bradley.

Jesus did say the truth was freeing. But from what does it free us? The verse in question is nearly always quoted devoid any context. The context answers the question of what we are being set free of. It seems to indicate that His truth will set us free from the sin that entraps us. The "truth" in question here is, I believe, the Gospel.

Truth must always be tempered by goodness and communicated by beauty. If not, it is merely a resounding gong and is worthless. Too often we Christians are too busy being right (truthful) and not busy enough being good.

evan abla

I was startled to come across this this morning--I've just been thinking about being more open, or at least less committed to keeping every little thing about my life private. I have been keeping a lot of inconsequential secrets and I don't know what I'm afraid of. It seems like it's just easier not to bother telling people the truth about myself sometimes.

-LitGeek

First time visitor...very interesting blog - greetings from N. Ireland!

From N. Ireland visitor! - http://www.mojo-place.blogspot.com/

Interesting and timely, RLP--I'm working on a service the theme of which is "speak truth tempered with love". It absolutely astonishes me how profoundly love can change our choices and even our peceptions of truth.

It seems to me that we have a preoccupation with truth and conflate "truth" with "telling the truth." Jesus did not say "telling the truth will set you free." Really, his remark sounds a lot like the Greek maxim, "Know thyself."

If there are truths that will hurt in the telling (and, I believe there are many such truths), then I think we should ask ourselves: "why am I going to speak this truth?"

RLP, I have no idea under what circumstances you felt compelled to tell "the truth." But, I know from my own experiences that there have been times when I must second guess myself.... "will telling this be of benefit? Will telling this be conducive to our health?" We can't always know the answers to such questions.

But I think it really does merit consideration that (1) Jesus does not say anything about "telling the truth" and "freedom" and (2) we are not expected to tell the truth. (We are, however, told not to lie. Refraining from telling the truth simply means keeping silent --golden silence. Refraining from telling the truth is not lying. Lying is speaking an untruth.)

I'm sure there will be a diversity of opinion on this. So, I won't bother to try to justify my position any further and just wait and see for where the bombs drop.

Celle T.

Truth , Jesus, Faith and Postmodern thinking is such a tinder field. This is something I struggled with recently as I did University study on Post Modernism.

There are things in my life that I have changed my mind on what is the truth. Does that mean I was living a lie when I thought differently? Does that mean I am living a lie now because things will probably change in the future again? Did the truth change? How do I ever know if I know the truth? These are the questions which postmodernists ask, and leads them to reject that there is such a thing as the truth.

I have come to distinguish between what is the truth - which I do believe is a reality - and what I see as the truth.

Our perception of the truth, or reality, is influenced by many factors - our gender, our culture, our upbringing, our health, our mood.

For example - my husband's hand impacts with the back of my head with considerable force - it gives headache and causes to stumble. As we had just had an argument, it is obvious to me that he reacted out of anger, and bashed me (no he didn't - this is hypothetical)

That is the truth isn't it?

Or is it - What if he saw a deadly spider on my hair which I was unaware of? What if he tripped behind me and I didn't know? What if I had accidentally used certain words which caused considerable emotional pain to him, and he reacted in a way which was out of character to him?

The truth is absolute - his hand impacted on my head. Our perception of the truth is relative - it depends on how much we know about the situation, how we perceive things, what our experience in life has taught us and a myriad of other factors.

When we tell the truth to other people, we are merely telling them OUR perception of the truth. It may offend them because of other factors - things we did not know about the situation, a reminder of bad experiences from the past, or even that they are already aware of this problem in their life, and they are doing all they can to work on it, and being told again was just one thing too many for them to cope with.

Jesus said - He IS the truth - not that he tells the truth, but it is the very essence of his nature. The truth will set us free - not knowing the truth, not telling the truth, but the truth.

That is not meant to be a logical argument - Jesus is the truth, the truth sets us free, therefore Jesus sets us free. But that if Jesus is the truth - this is the essence of his nature, that that essence of Jesus (God) is what will set us free.

Janet McKinney

OldPoet
In "Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown", Peppermint Patty and Charlie Brown are taking a test. She is blatantly looking on his paper, but instead of copying, she is telling him where he went wrong.

Peppermint Patty: False! Why did you put down false, Chuck? The answer is true, Chuck! What's true is true! Put down true, Chuck, or I'll never speak to you again.
Teacher: Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Ma'am?
Teacher: Is your partner giving you the answers?
Charlie Brown: Oh no, ma'am. She's not giving me the answers. Forcing, maybe, but not giving.

Peppermint Patty: If you know an answer, Chuck, and I don't, you tell me what it is. If I know an answer and you don't, I'll tell you what it is.
Charlie Brown: What happens if neither of us knows the answer?
Peppermint Patty: We'll punt!

That has stuck with me ever since I watched the video with Ariane when she was little. I still often say, "What's true is true, Chuck." I also try to remember that sometimes you have to punt.

Draw your own conclusions.

mmm, punt. The punt doesn't get you any points, does that make it less true than a conversion, or a field goal, or a touchdown. And we all know the point is to get points.

Actually that's not true, I'll punt!

by the way, if your having an afair and not telling your wife, and by not telling your wife, then your lying . . . lie away, because truth wouldn't set anyone free but yourself and if your having an afair on someone into which you entered covenant, then you deserve the hell that lying offers . . . or atleast the political career.

evan abla
thesecretllama