Real Live Preacher - Guest Writer

Thank You and help needed again please

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 18:41:34 -0600

Tim writing from Jethro again with another minor technical update.

We are in the process of cleaning this site up so we can archive it and switch to the brand new rlp website we are building.

First congratulations and a huge Thank You is in order.
The rlp AntiSpam Squad deleted / removed over 130,000 spam comments. Thats amazing.

There is another minor job to do. 850 blog posts need to be checked for internal links and edited. I need some volunteers for this one as well. Please comment below this asking for access and then go to the instructions.
I will give you access as soon as possible after seeing your comment.

Thanks in advance for all your help.

Tim

Lets go spam hunting and outage notice

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:13:13 -0600

There has been a fantastic response to the rlp AntiSpam Squad. The settings are all in place for you now to start "sweeping out the temple".
If you have commented in the rlp AntiSpam Squad post requesting your user name to be added to the list, then you should have access to the instructions.
Happy hunting.

Offline Advice
We will also be taking the site offline for some preliminary upgrade analysis and server checks Sunday morning AEST (Australian Eastern Standard Time) for about 3-4 hours. The site will return errors in that time as this old version of Drupal does not contain a nice "in maintenance mode".

Tim

rlp AntiSpam Squad

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 07:01:18 -0600

Hi - Tim from Jethro here, sorry to hijack rlp for a technical thing, but I guess rlp has already started that with the previous post about this site.

First I want to thank all the rlp readers who have been commenting, and emailing Gordon with ideas. We are reviewing them all and who knows something may be just what we need! Keep them coming.

As Gordon mentioned this site is built on Drupal. Unfortunately a very old version - we hope just "young" enough that we can upgrade it. Drupal has some fantastic spam control in new versions so while we appreciate comments about fixing the spam problem, that is mostly in hand. The real issue is what to do about the existing comments.

We really don't want to just delete them all, though that is our fall back position. The rlp community obviously values the comments for the continued conversations sparked by rlp writing. There are some techie ways we can try and delete just the spam comments (involving mySQL and PHP queries) but we are not sure that we can make that work entirely successfully.

I want to throw an idea to you. It's crazy enough that rlp might have thought of it himself, though the credit falls to me.

I know there’s 3,000 odd of you readers on any given day, and there's over 1,000 of you who have created user accounts. The way I figure it is if even half of those people, say 500, could delete 100 spam comments each they would all be gone.
So here’s the plan.

If you want to help, and that’s a big if, only if you can spare maybe half an hour of your time, then create an account and add a comment here with your user name (or existing user name) offering to help.
I will give you access to delete comments, and some easy instructions. As a bonus, you will gain access to the rlp subscription area for a period as well. You will be known as the "rlp antispam squad".

If you want to go nuts, I will even ask the preacher to formally recognize the person who deletes the most spam comments.

Thanks for helping - and being part of this community. Personally, I see this like sweeping up the playground in your street after vandals have trashed it. That’s what a community does.

Peace.
Tim

The Boy Who Saved a Kingdom

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 09:24:25 -0600

I have been asked to be a guest blogger on rlp’s weblog — well, actually, I asked for this space — more precisely, I demanded that the stage be given me. And what leverage do I have? I have the power of longevity. I have known rlp longer than anyone, save his mother. I have known him 44 years - today is his birthday. Happy birthday, rlp!

Like many of you who come to this site often, my favorite posts are the RLPDVs (Real Live Preacher Dramatic Versions). Perhaps you would be interested to know that "A Christmas Story You’ve Never Heard," was NOT rlp’s first attempt at recording one of his stories. On rlp’s 44th birthday, I thought you might be interested in hearing the first recording of an RLPDV - "The Little Boy Who Saved a Kingdom" - the story of David and Goliath. This recording is at least 40 years old, but even then, one needed not to have been a "seer" to recognize giftedness. In those early days, rlp was the "teller," but not the creator of the story.

RLP has some RLPDVs from the Old Testament that have not made it to the posting stage as yet. I know rlp does not need any more pressure, but I would like to see/hear "A Trophy of God’s Grace" - the story of Samuel. Perhaps rlp can post it sometime in early 2006.

After 40+ years, I still love your stories!

Love, Dad

The sound quality of the following files is not very good. They were originally recorded on a reel to reel recorder.

Click here to listen to "The Boy Who Saved A Kingdom." (David and Goliath) recorded in 1964.

Click here to listen to the original version of that story from a record that rlp listened to as a boy.

Introducing "Back Row Birdie"

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 23:25:54 -0500

Keith Herron is a friend of mine. I don't remember exactly how we met, but we were both pastors here in San Antonio for a few years. Keith is one of just a few Baptist pastors besides me who use the Lectionary for preaching. For a time we were in a Lectionary study group together. That's when I discovered how serious Keith is about writing and sermons. Keith left for Kansas City a few years ago, but we keep in touch.

For several years Keith has been writing a series of essays starring a crusty but lovable alter ego he calls "Back Row Birdie." Birdie is an elderly member of Keith's church who sits on the back row on Sundays, drops by during the week to give the preacher some free advice, and ALWAYS has a strong opinion.

Back Row Birdie is a monthly feature in the magazine, "Baptists Today." You can find the entire archive at the Holmeswood Baptist Church website, which is, by the way, one of my last original website designs.

I'm pleased to give Keith a guest spot here so that you can meet Birdie.

Thanks Keith!

“A Diner at the End of Time”

I have a faint memory as a child of what it felt like to be buoyant. I remember what it felt like to live so lightly you could float and not be bound by gravity. I can still get in touch with my ancient, long-buried memories of those days when I would be weightless to the world’s troublesome realities. Perhaps my mind has polished memories of mental states that never actually occurred, but it doesn’t really matter how I’ve reclaimed them, now does it? The important part is that I can.

Childlikeness is a good gift I’m rediscovering as an adult. We’re much too encrusted with adulthood to live in those memories for very long so I consider it a good thing that I can remember them at all, even if they only come sweetly as unbidden reminders of a lost world.

One of those memories comes in remembering those happy times when my Mom and Dad would place my little child body between their big adult bodies and hug me so fully there was no part of me that was not being hugged. In that sublime family hug, I was hugged so completely it almost squeezed the breath out of me, but never did I feel anything but absolute love and acceptance.

Birdie is my friend who helps me remember. Maybe it’s her transparency as an older adult because she’s taken me in like a young disciple to the landscape that lies ahead. Maybe it’s because she has reached the golden age where one lives more in the past than in the present.

Recently, Birdie and I took a drive. It was on one of those days when the whole earth glowed as if it was the last vestige of summer’s dying embers. It was in that time before time when the earth sheds its skin in preparation for the long days of a frozen winter. Not quite summer, not quite fall.

We decided we’d try out a new diner that had re-inhabited what had been a deserted gas station at the intersection of two county roads just north of town.

Birdie and I entered and every head turned to check us out but Birdie was too confident to give them any thought. As a young girl she had grown up in a small town so she disregarded their stares and sat down in the booth by the window. I’m not so sure of myself when everyone in the place is staring, but I decided that if Birdie was confident enough to ignore them, I could too. Pretty soon the notion of being watched disappeared.

We ordered pie and coffee mysteriously showed up without either of us asking. Birdie was halfway through her pie when she looked up and began recalling a memory from her childhood of another diner no longer in existence while sitting with her Grandpa. The diner, like her long-dead Grandpa, had disappeared into the mists of the past.

Birdie recalled these memories easily without effort. I shared my own memories and soon we were exchanging the stories that molded us into who we are today.

“Maybe church is like that,” she offered suddenly. “Maybe we’re having church right now. Maybe this is what the community of Jesus is all about.”

“If they served pie like this every Sunday, I wouldn’t complain,” was all I offered. It wasn’t much but it was what I was thinking.

“Preacher, you’re like every other man I’ve ever known. Slip a piece of good pie in front of him and he’ll forget half of what he knows. Works with other things too I’m told.” I ignored that last comment because I knew all too well that her mind was already three steps ahead of me and I wasn’t about to give her an excuse to ridicule me further.

“What if heaven is like this?” I blurted out. I don’t know where the thought came from, but I knew I was saying something smarter than my native self.

Birdie took my lead. “Why, I believe it could be just like this. It’s not in the Bible, but maybe it’s in the words between the words. Maybe, just maybe, we all end up in God’s diner at the end of time. We slip into a booth with a good friend and before you know it, one of God’s servants puts a big piece of pie in front of you and a cup of coffee. And all around you, you notice that everyone in the place is sharing freely from the cup of memories of that time and place where we explored God’s creation. Only now, we’re in a time where there is no time and we’re in a place beyond all places. And all of it is like a diner where the goodness of God’s love and grace can be appreciated like a heavenly slice of pie with a cup of coffee.”

“By the way Preacher, that’ll preach if you don’t have anything better to say on Sunday.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” was all I could say as I savored the last of my pie.