Real Live Preacher - Transmission Repair

Bob The Transmission Guru

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 20:48:38 -0500

If you don't know what transmission I'm talking about, click here and here and here.

Okay, I don't know if you're interested in this, but here is a video of Bob trying to explain what is wrong with our transmission. It's a pretty short video, but you'll get a feel for this guy. What the video doesn't show is Bob managed to find original parts, in spite of the fact that this transmission is unique to this kind of car and was only produced for a couple of years. He found an original transmission kit with all the gaskets and everything, and a number of other parts we need as well. They were shipped from back East where "there's this guy" he knows. The parts are very cool, still in their 1962 packaging.

The parts are $450, which is amazing considering what he had to go through to get them.

I thought this was funny: When I asked him how he got the transmission kit, he chuckled, paused, said "anyway," and then kept right on telling what was in the kit. Bob was not about to give up his secret connections.

How many times can I say "Wow?"
Obviously I have NO idea what he's talking about.

1962 Olds F-85 transmission kit. Possibly the only
one left in the world, and Bob found it.

Okay, enough on the transmission. I'm still working on compiling the movie list. Check back on that.

rlp

Transmission Update & Movies

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 18:13:08 -0500

If you don't know what transmission I'm talking about, click here and here.

Just a quick update. I heard from Bob, and it looks like he will be able to repair the transmission. He called and asked me to come over so he could show me the inside of the transmission and what had happened to it. This guy is fascinating to me. See that toothpick in the corner of his mouth? It's always there. (click to enlarge the picture if you need to)

I took a short video of him showing me the inside of my transmission. I tried to act like I had SOME idea of what he was talking about. I watched the video later and was embarrassed at how many times I said, "Wow. He would show me some broken piece of the transmission and I would say, "Wow," even though I really had no idea what he was talking about.

I'm going to upload the video of Bob to my Google video account and let you watch it if you want. Probably tomorrow sometime. This guy is a dying breed. He is from the era when you fixed your own car. You even took starters and transmissions and things apart, fixed them, then put them back in your car. And all the parts of cars were made so that you could do that.

I love Bob.

ALSO, I'm working to compile a list of all the movie suggestions that were left in the comments to my movie post. I'm going to post the entire list, along with stars or something beside those that I've seen and recommend. I dumped the text of the comments into a Word document and it's 8 pages long, size 8 font and two columns. It's taking me awhile.

rlp

Home Transmission Repair

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:35:33 -0500

Previously, on Transmission Repair:

Our intrepid hero, with the aid of his mechanical whiz friend, Reginald (who may or may not turn out to be a robot in the final episode), bravely attacked a one-of-a-kind transmission from a 1962 Oldsmobile F-85. The car belongs to Gordon's oldest daughter, who loves it dearly. The brave duo faced numerous challenges, the first being how to jack the car up high enough to slide under it and remove a 175-pound transmission. With the aid of a floor jack, a block of wood found in the backyard, and a pair of gigantic jack stands borrowed from ol' Richard, the crusty but lovable car mechanic of the neighborhood, the two managed to safely elevate the front of the car.

Once the car was elevated, there were many small obstacles, as is always the case with car repairs. The starter had to be removed, along with a section of the exhaust. Disconnecting the linkage, fluid lines, and speedometer cable should have been easy, but a rather nasty nut on one of the fluid lines caused a slow-down. Reggie prevailed, using a variety of wrenches and techniques in quick order. It was at this moment that our hero began to suspect that Reggie might be some sort of robot. While the transmission was still held firmly in place, at Reggie's suggestion, they loosened the 8 bolts holding the transmission to the engine. One bolt was placed in such a diabolically evil position that it proved very difficult to break loose.

In the end, nothing but a support bar and four bolts linking the transmission to the drive shaft stood in their way. The support bar stretched across the bottom of the transmission and was attached on either side and in the center. It came off easily enough, but what they thought was a block of rubber turned out to be a solid block of metal about the size of half a sandwich. It came about an inch from crashing into Gordon's head when it fell. It was precisely this moment when the first of several profanities heard that day were shouted.

Second block and jack supporting the "tranny."

Now, with the transmission supported securely by a second jack and block of wood, 7 of the transmission bolts were removed, leaving only the difficult-to-reach bolt, which turned out to be even nastier than they suspected. The entire job took four hours, but this one bolt occupied them for at least 45 minutes. The duo dubbed this bolt, "lil bastard." One wrench could be placed over it with great difficulty, but each 16th of a rotation was paid for with severe pain. The bolt could be reached with a hand, but the space around it was too tight to allow the use of an opposable thumb. It was at this time that most of the profanities uttered that day were heard.

At long last, lil' bastard gave up the fight.

Reggie gives lil' bastard an appropriate gesture

After that it was only a matter of minutes until the transmission was hoisted aloft in triumph. It was an emotional moment of victory, marked by a tender, if rather greasy, embrace.

And now our fabled transmission rests in the mysterious workshop of "Transmission Bob," the grizzled old mechanic, long retired and working now on selected projects that baffle modern transmission shops.

The interior of Bob's mysterious workshop with our transmission on the table

Will Bob be able to identify the problem with our transmission? Indeed, will he even live long enough to do so? And if the transmission is repairable, can the parts be found for the job? Reggie and Gordon left Bob's shop with his words of warning still ringing in their ears:

"You know, Oldsmobile abandoned the aluminum engine shortly after 62'. It was pretty damn hard to find parts for this transmission within a couple of years. I know a guy on the East coast. He's grouchy as hell, but if anyone can find parts, he can. I don't know..."

It may take weeks or months to get parts, even if they are available. If this transmission can't be repaired, only a new engine will save the life of this classic car. Still, Reggie freakin Regan doesn't accept defeat easily. Odds are he still has a trick or two up his filthy sleeves.

Stay tuned...

rlp

The pictures were taken by Tim Heaven, aka "Tom."

Zen - Reggie - Transmission - Insanity

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:14:05 -0500

Remember Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? Remember my daughter's '62 Olds? Remember Reggie, the guy who sold my navel lint on eBay for $200? Well, all of these things are converging tomorrow in an astonishing moment of freakish synchronicity.

See the thing is, I was excited about my daughter buying this classic car. And I want to learn to work on cars, you know, like in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, where you find deep meaning in tasks that seem mundane, and you know a lot about cars and fixing things and are really cool and deep and manly all at the same time. I want that. You know, that Zen kind of car fixing thing. And I did replace the starter on this car, which is a good beginning, especially since those old starters are the size of small water heaters. Only now we have transmission problems. And it turns out that this particular Oldsmobile has a unique, aluminum motor, so we either get this transmission fixed or we're pretty much up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle.

Now as it turns out, there is this old guy named Bob in my town, who is apparently the transmission guru for classic cars in our area. Finding him was kind of a Zen thing in itself. But Bob is now too old to take transmissions out of cars, so you have to take it out yourself and drive it over to his house. Then he does his magic, which apparently includes contacting some even older guy in Maine who is really grouchy but knows how to find impossible parts for transmissions. If Bob can get the parts, they say he can fix anything.

So the thing is, I'm taking out a transmission tomorrow.

[Those who know me are laughing their proverbial asses off, so I'll wait a moment for the laughter to die down]

You finished? May I continue, please?

The good news: Reggie freakin Regan, who along with making bat houses and selling weird stuff on eBay is really good with cars and fixing things. So Reg is coming over tomorrow with his cool tools, and we're going to take out the transmission, or "drop the tranny" as I like to say when I'm with Reggie.

The way I see it, what's the worst that could happen? Well, I could get my hands crushed or something, but probably not. We'll get dirty. We'll drink some beer. I'll take pictures with the transmission after we wrestle it into submission and pull it out of the car. Grrrrr. Hey, life is an adventure, right? You gotta embrace it, roll with the punches, step up to the plate, or at least whine enough so that Reggie will save the day.

rlp

Foy Update - Part two is almost done....just...ooh, almost. And then this transmission thing happened, so I'm losing my writing time on Tuesday. Stay tuned.