Real Live Preacher - RLPDV

For We Are Many

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 10:23:00 -0500

Part two to this story was originally published here. I left this page so that the comments would remain. You can read the whole story here.

For We Are Many

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:52:34 -0600

RLPDV - a dramatized version of a gospel story
This story was originally published in two parts. You can read the comments from part two here.

The Richest Man In Town

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:39:33 -0600

Delivered as a sermon at Sage Chapel, Cornell University, April 9th, 2006

Jesus of Nazareth was in town, and the word spread quickly. Whispers moved through the marketplace and were carried on the winds of gossip and rumor. The exciting young rabbi from Galilee was in Judea, and not only in Judea but in their own village. Soon people were moving toward the town well. Some wanted to see Jesus and others were swept along by the inertia of the event and just wanted to see what was happening.

Everyone had heard of Jesus and of his wonderful teaching and miracles, but his outward appearance was a surprise to most of them. He was a rough and strong man who wore very simple clothing. His shoulders were broad, his laugh was deep and full, and his hands were the rough instruments of a man who had known hard labor.

Even more surprising were those who were with him. His disciples, it seemed, were mostly common people. A good number of them were fishermen, or so people said. Also tradesmen and farmers. There was even a rumor that a tax collector and an ex-prostitute were among them.

Some who were at the well that day wondered how these people were able to tramp around the countryside with this man. Did they not have families? Did they not have jobs? How did they find the time? What did they do for money and food? Many were suspicious of the whole thing and stood at a distance with their arms crossed and frowns on their faces. Occasionally they leaned to the right or the left to get a better view.

Jesus and his friends stayed at the well for the better part of the day. People came and went. Some stayed to hear him speak or tell one of his famous stories. Others hoped to receive a healing or perhaps witness one. There were a number of passionate arguments about the Torah, and the local scholars and rabbis asked him some very direct questions. His answers and opinions were offered with a bold confidence. It was clear to everyone present that Jesus was a brilliant scholar and a very charismatic man.

In the late afternoon, just as the crowds were beginning to thin, a man named Solomon ran up to Jesus, breathing hard and full of excitement. Solomon and his family were well-known and loved by the local people. His father Jacob had been the richest man in town and the most popular. After he died Solomon had stepped right into his sandals, you might say. He was very generous and gave large amounts of money to the synagogue each year. He was devout in his religion, and at Passover it was known that he provided sacrificial animals to poor families who were struggling and without much money. His servants and slaves were well cared for and counted themselves lucky to have such a master.

As Solomon approached Jesus, a number of people who had been ready to leave turned instead and pressed in close around Jesus and his disciples. They were eager to see what Solomon thought of the young rabbi and perhaps to see what the young rabbi thought of Solomon. To everyone’s surprise, Solomon dropped to one knee in front of Jesus and bowed his head. People leaned toward each other and whispered. Even the disciples of Jesus, who had been laughing and talking, grew silent and paid attention. They could tell by his clothing that Solomon was a wealthy and influential man, and they sensed the respect that the people had for him.

And then Solomon spoke.

“Most honored rabbi, Jesus of Nazareth, it is such an honor for you to come to our little village. Word of your marvelous wisdom and knowledge has reached us. In particular I have spoken with a number of scholars and scribes about the things you are reported to have said and done. It is clear that you are a man of God, perhaps even a prophet sent to Abraham’s children in these hard times.”

Jesus turned his head a little to one side and dipped it respectfully, keeping his eyes on Solomon who looked back at him with a bright smile. He was obviously thrilled to meet Jesus in person.

“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I would like to ask you. I know you are busy, so I have only one question. However, it is the most important question I have. I beg that you hear me and help me find the answer.”

Jesus waited in silence, so Solomon continued.

“Good teacher, what must I do to find favor with God and to receive the joyous, timeless kind of life that comes with that favor?”

It was the perfect question to ask, and everyone was very impressed. Of course, the townspeople expected no less from Solomon. He was known for the passion of his convictions and for the careful way that he kept the law of Moses. He was a good man, serious and merciful and always seeking to please God.

Jesus was the only one who didn’t seem impressed. Fine clothing and a good reputation meant very little to him. He had met many rich men with fancy clothes and reputations they had purchased or earned with outward shows of piety. He said nothing but only looked at Solomon, whose eyes remained focused on the ground before him. Then he laughed and said, “Why do you call ME good? You and I both know that only God is truly good. Or have you forgotten your first lessons from synagogue school”

Jesus’ disciples chuckled and exchanged knowing looks. Jesus often had a little fun at the expense of pompous rich men. They expected Solomon to be indignant. Rich men were used to deferential treatment. They were used to their questions being taken very seriously. They were certainly not accustomed to being laughed at.

But Solomon didn’t move or speak. If he heard the laughing, he didn’t show it. He raised his head to look at Jesus, and he had the innocent face of a child. There was no pride in him. He smiled. “Honored rabbi, of course you are correct. Only God is truly good. I meant it out of respect for you. I do hope you’ll answer my question, though. I have tried so hard to please God, and I long to know if I am doing the right things. Sometimes I worry about my life. Sometimes I am afraid that I might be missing something important.”

The smile disappeared from Jesus’ face. He looked carefully at Solomon, then he nodded slowly.

“Okay, fair enough. Solomon, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

Jesus bowed his head, this time lowering it until he broke eye contact and looked at the ground.

“I meet a lot of people, Solomon. And in my experience, rich men are often not seeking answers. What they want is justification for their lives. But you have asked honestly, so I will answer you with honesty. You know the commandments. Obey them. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength. Put no other god or thing before Him. Honor your parents; be faithful to your wife; do not take or desire what belongs to others; and bear only a truthful witness about your neighbors.”

The crowd leaned forward, expecting more, but Jesus was apparently done. He looked around at the people and then down at Solomon who was still on his knees. Then he spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“That’s all. You have been given the law of Moses. Know the law and live accordingly. There are no secrets or shortcuts. There is no magic here. What was good for Moses is certainly good enough for us.”

Then Jesus turned around and began speaking quietly to his disciples. Some in the crowd shrugged and turned away. A good number were a little disappointed with his response. For a famous rabbi, Jesus certainly gave ordinary answers. Everyone knew about keeping the law of Moses.

Solomon rose to his feet and looked at the back of Jesus with a puzzled expression on his face. He turned around to leave, but then he stopped and stood motionless for a few seconds, as if he was struggling with something inside himself. Then he whirled around, walked over to Jesus, and touched him lightly on the elbow. Jesus turned around and looked at him, and Solomon immediately dropped to his knee again.

“Good rabbi, uh…I mean rabbi Jesus, please allow me to talk to you for a moment longer. Certainly I know the commandments and love them. And I tell you truly that I have tried to keep them faithfully since I was a boy. I have not succeeded perfectly, of course, for I am only a sinful man. But I have given the best of myself to the law of Moses. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. Something is missing.”

Solomon paused, shaking his head as if he was looking for words that were hard for him to find. He was fidgeting and excited.

“You see, I love what I find in the writings of the great prophet Jeremiah. He said that someday we would all know God intimately, the youngest and the oldest of us, because the law of God would be written on our hearts, and not just obeyed with our bodies.”

“I…I don’t know how to say this, but I want that. I want what Jeremiah wrote about, although I must admit I don’t know exactly what it means. I want more. I want to go farther in my love of God, but I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know how to make it happen.”

While Solomon was speaking, Jesus’ face softened and his eyes became wet with tears. He got down on his knees with Solomon and put his hand on Solomon’s shoulder.

“Forgive me, Solomon. For now I see that you are a serious and genuine seeker. I see your heart, and it is a heart that loves God. And because of that I love you, my brother in faith.”

Jesus stood and pulled Solomon to his feet as well. He looked deeply into his eyes, smiling. Then his head cocked a little to one side and he stroked his beard, thinking.

“Will you wait here just a moment?”

Solomon nodded.

Jesus made a motion with his hands and his disciples gathered around him. He began talking passionately to them, though no one else could hear what he was saying. Some of them turned and looked at Solomon while they listened. There was some discussion and vigorous nods of approval. When Jesus turned back to Solomon, the disciples turned as well. They all had broad smiles on their faces.

Jesus said, “Solomon, you are right. There is one thing missing from your life. And I can help you find what it is that you seek. We will be in this area for two or three more weeks. That will give you time to put your affairs in order. Then come; join us; be one of us.”

“Sell your home and your possessions. You won’t need them, and in time you won’t even want them. Give the money to the poor and find joy in that goodness. Then, when I come back through town, you will be ready, and you can go with us. I have twelve close disciples. I rather liked the number twelve – tradition you know - but it’s not that important. You can be number thirteen.”

Jesus stretched his hand out toward Solomon as if he wanted to shake hands. And then he turned his hand until his palm was facing upward.

“Come, brother. Come and be set free. We eat only what comes to us, but we do not starve. We wear only simple clothing, but we are not naked or cold. And the adventures we shall have together will be rich beyond your wildest dreams. Come and be with us, my friend. Come and find food for your soul.”

Solomon’s mouth fell open, and he stood staring at Jesus for a moment or two, saying nothing. In all of his searching, reading, and praying, it had never occurred to him that he might be asked to leave his home and his comfortable life. He looked at Jesus and his friends. He could see their passion for living and their excitement at being part of something new. Certainly these were the sort of people he longed to know. For a moment he allowed himself the luxury of imagining what it would be like if he were to join them. Sleeping under the open skies, visiting towns and cities all over Judea and Galilee, soaking up the wonderful words and wisdom of Jesus of Nazareth. It seemed too good to be true. Surely it could not be possible that such a thing was his for the taking.

And then he thought of his house and his clothing and his friendships in town. He thought about his bedroom and the comfort and privacy he had there. He thought about the local food that he loved so much, and about his sister and her children. Someday he hoped to have children himself. And he thought about their synagogue with its delightful collection of scrolls and sacred writings.

And down inside he became a little afraid. He was afraid that his life would be lacking without these things that he loved. He was afraid that if he went with Jesus he might regret it later, but it would be too late because his possessions and his home would be gone.

Solomon looked at Jesus who stood there waiting with his hand outstretched. For a moment he thought he would pay any price for the chance to travel with Jesus and learn from him. Just for a moment, before he came to his senses.

Solomon walked toward Jesus. He grasped the hand that Jesus offered in both of his own hands and shook it up and down. He was all smiles.

“Delightful and wise rabbi Jesus, how grateful I am for such a generous invitation. And I assure you that if it were at ALL possible, I would love to join you. Unfortunately, I have many responsibilities. And of course selling our family land and home is clearly out of the question.”

He paused, waiting for Jesus to let him know that he understood the truth of his situation. He waited for Jesus to let him off the hook.

But Jesus said nothing. Solomon let go of Jesus’ hand and took a step back. A short laugh burst from his lips.

“Well, surely you weren’t serious? It would be highly irresponsible for me to…”

He faltered and looked at the gathering of men and women around Jesus. They looked back at him calmly. All he could see were fishermen, tradesmen, even the tax collector and the prostitute, those who had left their lives behind to follow the rabbi from Nazareth.

Solomon took another step backwards. He shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry, but it’s just not possible. Of course I can’t sell these things. I mean, people count on me to be here for them. What of my servants and their children? What of my responsibilities in the synagogue?”

Even as he spoke, a deep sadness began to form in the bottom of Solomon’s soul. It was like the sadness a man feels when he realizes that the woman of his dreams was his until he let her go. It was like the sadness of discovering that a hasty decision has destroyed all hope for a wondrous joy that might have been but will never be. It was a regretful, coward-like sadness. Solomon’s voice changed, and it sounded a little desperate.

“Rabbi, be reasonable. A man such as myself has many obligations. Perhaps when you’re in the area I might attend some of your lectures or whatever you call them. Uh, talks or sermons, yes?”

Jesus had held his hand out for the entire time. Now he dropped it to his side. He looked at Solomon sadly and sighed.

“I’m sorry Solomon, but I don’t give scheduled lectures or talks. I just can’t keep a schedule, you see? I never know where I will be or what I might be doing. You just have to be there with me when it happens. It’s the only way, really.”

They stood looking at each other. Then Jesus lifted the palm of his right hand quickly and put it back down. It might have been a little wave or it might have been a weak shrug. The sun was setting and people were beginning to go home. Jesus and his friends left the well and walked toward the north end of town. As they walked, Peter said, “For a moment there I thought he might do it.”

Jesus shook his head. “No, he wasn’t even close to coming with us. It is a very hard thing to be rich, my friends. Very hard and very dangerous. In fact, it’s harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.”

“Wow!” said Thaddaeus. “It makes you wonder how ANYONE could make it.” He turned around for one last look at Solomon, who was still standing by the well. “Too bad. He seemed like a nice guy.”

Jesus turned with Thaddaeus and looked at Solomon in the distance. “Be comforted, Thaddaeus. Always remember that what is impossible for us is certainly possible for God.”

Solomon stood by the well and watched them until they were out of sight. Then he shook his head as if he could shake away the feeling of dread that was creeping into his stomach.

“The man was completely unreasonable,” he said to no one in particular. “What did he expect me to do? Really, I ask you.”

Postscript:

History records what happened to Jesus and his friends. They roamed the countryside of Galilee and Judea. They had many adventures and saw many things, some good and some bad. Later, after the terrible events in Jerusalem, the friends of Jesus founded the Christian Church, carrying his teachings and wisdom around the world. Their influence stretched from the eastern edge of the Roman Empire to the mysterious lands to the west. They were the leaders of arguably the single most important and influential movement in the history of human civilization. They turned the world upside down, and their words are still being read and discussed today. Their fame grew, and two thousand years later their names are still the most popular names we give to our children.

As for Solomon, he lived to be a very old man. He was a good person in every way. And he died the richest man in his little Judean village.

rlp

Read Mark 10:17-27

Note: I got the interpretive idea behind this story from Walter Rauschenbusch, who suggested that the key to understanding this story is to concentrate not on what the man was asked to give up, but instead to consider the incredible opportunity he gave up.

The Boy Who Saved a Kingdom

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 09:24:25 -0600

I have been asked to be a guest blogger on rlp’s weblog — well, actually, I asked for this space — more precisely, I demanded that the stage be given me. And what leverage do I have? I have the power of longevity. I have known rlp longer than anyone, save his mother. I have known him 44 years - today is his birthday. Happy birthday, rlp!

Like many of you who come to this site often, my favorite posts are the RLPDVs (Real Live Preacher Dramatic Versions). Perhaps you would be interested to know that "A Christmas Story You’ve Never Heard," was NOT rlp’s first attempt at recording one of his stories. On rlp’s 44th birthday, I thought you might be interested in hearing the first recording of an RLPDV - "The Little Boy Who Saved a Kingdom" - the story of David and Goliath. This recording is at least 40 years old, but even then, one needed not to have been a "seer" to recognize giftedness. In those early days, rlp was the "teller," but not the creator of the story.

RLP has some RLPDVs from the Old Testament that have not made it to the posting stage as yet. I know rlp does not need any more pressure, but I would like to see/hear "A Trophy of God’s Grace" - the story of Samuel. Perhaps rlp can post it sometime in early 2006.

After 40+ years, I still love your stories!

Love, Dad

The sound quality of the following files is not very good. They were originally recorded on a reel to reel recorder.

Click here to listen to "The Boy Who Saved A Kingdom." (David and Goliath) recorded in 1964.

Click here to listen to the original version of that story from a record that rlp listened to as a boy.

A Christmas Story You've Never Heard

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 15:47:34 -0500

As an experiment, I decided to publish this CD myself instead of going through a publishing company or other agency. All the recording and editing work was done by Ben King of Talking Taco Music, Covita, and me. Ben's company is handling the shipping.

About The Christmas Story:
In December of 2003, I wrote a dramatized version of the Christmas story, taking the scripture details and fleshing them out in new way. This is a Christmas story you've never heard before. The story is written in the same style as my RLPDV (Real Live Preacher Dramatized Version) stories.

Click here to read the introduction

*** Click here to listen to the First Chapter ***

Real Live Preacher's Christmas Story
is now available on CD for $11.50
A Downloadable Version Will Be Available In About A Week

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Where Is The Man?

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 14:17:03 -0500

A Real Live Preacher Dramatized Bible Story

The two men in expensive robes looked very out of place in the darkest part of the back streets, but they were not afraid. Their robes and their attitude let everyone know who they were. No one would dare harm them, even at night.

“Do we understand one another?”

“Yes, separate one. I understand perfectly.”

One of the robed men tossed a few coins into the shadows of a doorway. As they turned to walk away he called back over his shoulder.

“Don't be late. And don't disappoint me!”

They walked quickly through the alleys with the sleeves of their robes pressed over their noses and mouths. The man who had thrown the coins said to his companion, “A most distasteful business, I must say.”

Jesus came early to the temple the next morning to continue his discussions with a small crowd of people made up mostly of tradesmen from the streets of Jerusalem. They were thrilled that this exciting, young rabbi seemed to enjoy teaching regular people. Soon they were knotted around Jesus and engaged in a passionate discussion of the Torah and its interpretation.

Their conversation was interrupted by the panicked and fearful shrieks of a woman. All heads turned at the same time to see a group of about ten men pushing their way through the crowd and up to the front where Jesus stood. These were important and very religious men, some of them scholars and officials of the Temple. Others were Pharisees, respected and wealthy men who took pride in keeping themselves away from sinners.

The townspeople around Jesus parted respectfully, allowing them to the front. Two were dragging a woman along with them. They thrust her violently toward Jesus, and the crowd drew back further when they saw her.

The woman stood with her head down and her hair covering most of her face. Her shoulders were hunched inward with shame, and she was desperately holding a tattered robe around her body. Her feet were bare and her hair was dirty. She was disheveled and confused, and she was not properly covered. A glimpse of her thigh was visible through a fold in the cloth. Under her chin the robe sagged, revealing her collar bone.

One of the Pharisees stepped boldly forward and spoke directly to Jesus. “Honored Rabbi, this woman was caught in the very act of adultery.”

He paused and looked around at the crowd for effect before repeating himself loudly.

“In the VERY ACT! Her guilt is beyond question. We bear witness to it. Now the law of Moses says that we should stone her here and now. But of course, with Jesus here at the temple today, we are fortunate to have an expert opinion on matters of the Law. We wouldn't want to act hastily. After all, a woman's life is at stake.”

He cocked his head slightly and stretched his arm out toward Jesus with his palm up.

“So I ask you, rabbi, what do YOU say we should do?”

He said the word “rabbi” with mock intensity, drawing it out until it almost sounded like an insult.

Jesus looked at the group of religious men before him. They met his gaze without looking the slightest bit uncomfortable or unsure of themselves. He turned his head and looked at the small crowd of people who moments before had been listening to him teach and asking questions. They were all looking at him now. Some of them were nodding to each other as if to say, “Yes, I'd like to know what Jesus says about a terrible thing like this.”

Then Jesus turned his eyes to the woman who stood trembling before them all. His eyes moved slowly over her, picking up details that told him something of her story.

She was a woman of the streets; that seemed obvious. She looked hard and desperate. The bottoms of her feet were calloused and thickened, as were the fingers clutching the edges of her cheap robe. She had known hard labor, and the life she now lived made her harder still. Her hair was dirty and there was straw in it. It looked as if someone had thrown her to the ground, tossed the robe at her, and given her a few seconds to make herself presentable.

But something was wrong here. Something was missing. Something nagged at the blurry edges of his awareness, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Jesus slowly lowered himself into a squatting position, eyes still on the woman. Then he looked at the ground before him and wrote with his finger in the dust as he thought and wondered. The crowd was quiet. They stared at him and wondered what he was going to do next.

And then he froze. His index finger stopped moving in the dirt. He understood. He knew what was missing. His eyes closed and he let the air out of his lungs with a groan. His shoulders sagged. He became intent on the ground before him, and he wrote in the dirt, “Where is the man?”

He stood quickly and stepped across what he had written and toward the Pharisee who seemed to be the ringleader. He spoke directly to him, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Where is the man?”

“What man?”

“You know what man. It does take two to commit adultery. Why have you not brought him here to face justice alongside her?”

The Pharisee's face tightened with anger. “The whereabouts of the man are not your concern here today. You call yourself a rabbi, do you not? We have come to you with a legitimate question of the law and of justice. Answer please, honored rabbi. What is to be done with this adulteress who stands before you in obvious guilt? Answer and perhaps we shall talk about the man when we are done with her.”

Jesus narrowed his eyes and stepped forward again until he was standing right in the face of the Pharisee. Years of carpentry work had made Jesus strong. He had broad shoulders and rough hands. But the Pharisee was unafraid. There could be no greater triumph for him than if Jesus were to strike him down.

But Jesus made no violent move toward him. Instead, he spoke softly in a voice that only the two of them could hear.

“You set this up, didn't you? Yes, of course you did. How does one catch a woman in the very act of adultery, I wonder? How unless he knows ahead of time when it is going to take place. How much did you pay him? I wonder how a man like you even knows how to find people who will do things like this.”

The Pharisee looked calm and spoke in a whisper. “The crowd awaits your answer, rabbi.”

Jesus turned and took three steps back to the side of the woman who had not moved or lifted her head. Her hair still covered her face, giving her some small feeling of privacy. Jesus stood for a few moments looking at the place in the dirt where he had written “Where is the man?”

Then he addressed the crowd in a loud voice.

“You have called me rabbi, and I willingly accept that title and all that goes with it. You have come to hear my judgment in this matter. Very well, my judgment I will give as long as you pledge to honor it.”

The ringleader squinted and looked suspicious, but the other religious leaders and many in the crowd were nodding in agreement. What he said seemed fair enough.

Jesus bent down and picked up a fist-sized rock. He bobbed it up and down in his hand, feeling its weight, and then he spoke again.

“This is what I say. She is guilty, so stone her according to the law of Moses. Yes, stone her now and let God's justice be done!”

The woman screamed in terror, and the crowd exploded into frantic whispers. Everyone was talking at once. The Pharisee who had asked Jesus for judgment smiled. He had never in his wildest dreams expected such an easy and complete victory.

Many in the crowd were shocked and uncomfortable. Although the Law of Moses indeed specified this penalty for her offense, public stoning was rare and frowned on by the Roman government. Many would say that stoning was right, but few had the stomach to cast stones themselves. No one knew how to proceed. Even the religious leaders who brought this woman to Jesus did not think that he would say such a thing. Jesus was supposed to be an advocate of mercy for common people. He was known to associate and even eat with women like this.

Jesus used the confusion of the crowd to maximum effect. He slowly raised the rock over his head and faced the woman. The crowd became silent. All eyes were on him. Then Jesus turned to the man in the fancy robe, the Pharisee.

“You have heard my judgment. Now hear my terms. Let the first man to cast a stone be a man who is himself guilty of no sin! And let him come forward now, before us all, and claim his right to take this rock and carry out this justice.”

With that Jesus hurled the rock at the feet of the ringleader. It hit the ground with a loud thud. Then Jesus squatted back down and resumed writing in the dust by the feet of the woman.

The crowd was stunned. Many stood with their mouths hanging open. Some of the townspeople, empowered by Jesus, nodded in agreement. After a few moments everyone began leave. Some of the religious leaders melted into the crowd and left as well.

Jesus never looked up. He kept his eyes on the ground as the crowd dispersed. In the end, the only one left was the man who had brought the accusation. Feeling his power slipping away, he turned and left himself, uttering a barely audible oath as he walked away.

Jesus squatted in silence beside the woman. When he looked up they were alone. He rose to his feet and spoke to her.

“Daughter of Abraham, lift up your head and look around you.”

“I cannot.”

“Then lift up your eyes at least and see who condemns you now.”

Slowly, the woman's hand pulled her matted hair away from her eyes. She looked around, amazed to find that there was no one left but her and Jesus.

“Who is left to condemn you?”

“No one, sir.”

“Then neither do I condemn you. Go your way and be at peace.”

She pulled her robe more tightly around her shoulders, dropped her hair into her eyes again, and began to walk away.

“Daughter of Abraham. I have something to say to you before you go.”

She stopped, but she did not turn around or look up.

“Your name is worth more than this; do not dishonor it. Your life is worth more than this; do not waste it.”

The woman made a slight move with her head that might have been a nod, then started to walk again. Jesus spoke one last time.

“Daughter of Abraham, YOU are worth more than this. Go now and sin no more in this fashion. Be instead the child of God that you were meant to be.”

This time her shoulders shuddered and a soft sob was heard. She ran and disappeared around a corner.

Jesus watched her go and whispered softly to himself, “Go, daughter of Abraham. Go and live your life, for we are all worth more than this.”

rlp

RLPDV (A Real Live Preacher Dramatized Bible Story)

John 8:1-11 (NRSV)

Even The Rich Woman

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 14:18:26 -0500

A Dramatized Version of a Bible Story

No one hated rich people more than Judas. Seriously, he hated them. Judas said the problems our people were having could be traced back to all sorts of abuses by the establishment and the powerful people who were in charge of things. He hated the professional priests and their rich supporters. He hated their nice houses, fancy clothes, and high-dollar religious festivals.

Before he met Jesus, Judas lived out in the desert with the Essene zealots. He told us he left them because bullshit politics were ruining the movement. I don't exactly remember the details, but it was something like that.

Anyway, I always thought it was strange that Jesus put Judas in charge of the money. But then, Jesus did a lot of things that didn't make sense to me. I remember that Judas used to count the money a lot and fret over it. He didn't want any to be wasted. Sometimes Jesus would take some money out of the bag to throw a party or something, and Judas' would look very irritated. He couldn't say anything because it was Jesus doing it, but you could tell he didn't like it.

Judas told us that if we lived simply and saved every shekel, one day we would be able to do some wonderful things for the poor and downtrodden. He had a big heart for things like that. He was always talking about the poor. That's probably why he joined up with Jesus in the first place. Jesus seemed to care about regular people and not just the ones with money. We loved that about him.

Oh, I'm Thaddaeus, by the way. In case you were wondering. I was one of the twelve, but I'm not that well known or anything. I personally think it's because no one wants to name his son Thaddaeus, but what do I know? I never was one for saying all that much, but I see things. I notice the way people's faces show what they feel inside. That's something I do pretty well, and Jesus knew it. He and I used to talk about that late at night after everyone else had gone to bed. About how people really felt and how you could see it if you looked closely.

So yeah, I was telling you about Judas because I remember the last night he was with us. I remember what happened right before he went to the High Priest and said he would betray Jesus.

I never believed that part about the thirty pieces of silver, by the way, and I still don't. I know they gave him a bag of coins, but there was no way Judas would ever betray a friend for money. No way. There was something else going on, and I think I know what it was. I saw something in Judas' face that night. And in the face of Jesus too.

I remember it all started when we were invited to the home of Simon the Leper for dinner. He wasn't actually a leper, of course, though Jesus was pretty famous for not being afraid of lepers. He even touched them sometimes. Seriously, he did. Simon only used to be a leper. He got healed some time back. He was an ex-leper, I guess. But people around there still called him “Simon the Leper” because once something like that happens to you, no one ever forgets it.

We were right in the middle of dinner, as I recall, when this rich woman showed up at the door. You could tell she was very rich because of her clothes and all that. Also I remember that it seemed like she didn't really belong there. Like her rich husband wouldn't approve or something. She had that look that rich women get when they are somewhere they normally wouldn't be.

When she appeared in the doorway, all the conversation died, and everyone sat there watching her. She was carrying one of those real expensive alabaster jars of burial ointment. You know, the ones that rich people have. This was SERIOUSLY expensive stuff. Pure nard, okay? Get the picture? You know what I'm talkin about.

The whole thing was just weird. Here's this woman, without her husband, carrying this unbelievable bottle of perfume. And everyone was staring at her, wondering what she was going to do.

I noticed Judas was watching her real close. Like I said, he normally hated people like her, but she did have that expensive flask. I'm pretty sure Judas thought she was going to make a donation or something because he got the money bag out and started smiling. I know what he was thinking. If we could sell that nard, then maybe we would finally have enough money to start making a real difference in the world. We could help a lot of poor people.

But you're not going to believe what happened next. You couldn't guess in a million years. The woman walked over to Jesus and broke the neck of the bottle on the edge of the table. Everyone jumped because it was pretty loud. Then she poured it all on the top of Jesus' head and started rubbing it into his hair and whispering stuff in his ear.

I know. Unbelievable.

It kinda seemed like a long time that everyone just stared at them without saying anything, but I think it was just a second or two. Then Judas said, “Oh shit!” He and a couple of the guys jumped up and ran over to where Jesus and the woman were. Judas said, “What the hell have you done, you stupid bitch!”

Jesus got everyone calmed down and back to their places around the table, but for a minute there, it was quite a scene. Judas put his face in his hands and shook his head back and forth, saying, “That woman just poured twenty-thousand dollars onto his head. Do you know how many people we could have fed with that money?”

Then he jumped to his feet and yelled at her again.

“You know you just killed a bunch of kids, right? You DO know that. Little children. Children who might have lived will now die. Because of you. That's right, dead children. I hope you sleep well tonight. You probably will because people like you don't give a damn about anyone or anything but themselves.”

Man, he was so angry. I'm serious, Judas really loved the idea of poor people and of helping them. Like I said, he had a big heart in that way, and I think it was just too much for him to see an opportunity like this wasted. I don't agree with him yelling those things, but you would understand if you knew Judas. He took this stuff very seriously.

Judas took a lot of things very seriously. Sometimes I think that was his problem. See, a guy like Judas who cares about a lot of things – well, it just takes a lot of energy to care that much. And then, you know, you start having a lot of stuff you have to set right in the world. It just takes a lot out of you, that's all I'm saying. Judas didn't have any time to sit back and watch people. Like I said before, that's what I do.

And I saw something that night that Judas missed. I saw something amazing in the face of Jesus.

When the woman poured that perfume on Jesus' head, I saw him cringe. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lower lip. It was over in a moment, but it was enough to tell me all I needed to know. This wasn't something he wanted to happen.

What I mean is, if you had asked him, “Hey Jesus, what do you want us to do with this bottle of expensive perfume?” I don't think he would have said, “Why don't you dump it on my head?”

Jesus didn't go in for that sort of thing, as a general rule. He wasn't a showy kind of guy, and he never did anything that made me think he was looking for fame and fortune. That anointing with oil stuff is for kings and people with fancy titles. That wasn't Jesus.

If she had asked him, he might have said the same thing as Judas. Sell the stuff and give the money to the poor. That's actually a pretty good idea. That's the sort of thing I would expect Jesus to say.

But she didn't ask his opinion. Rich people can be like that, no disrespect intended. They don't ask; they just do their thing. She was a rich woman, and she thought anointing his head with outrageously expensive perfume was a good thing to do.

And you know what? Maybe it WAS a good thing to do. After all these years, I don't even know.

Well anyway, when Judas and the other guys started yelling at her, the poor woman burst into tears and tried to hide behind Jesus. He listened to them yell for a few seconds, then his chin dropped, and he stared at the floor. He shook his head back and forth real slow, like he was realizing there was no good way out of this. I thought he looked rather tired and worn out, myself. Which worried me a little.

Jesus got everyone quiet, even Judas. Then he began to talk. The amazing thing was, he took the woman's side. He looked right at Judas and said that the poor had been waiting a long time, and they would still be waiting when Judas finally got his money together, and made his plans, and did whatever else he felt he had to do before he could start helping people.

He said that what she did was a nice thing, even the right thing. He also said that it was a beautiful gesture and that it was getting him ready for his burial. We had no idea what he was talking about, of course. Then he said that no one would ever forget what she had done for him, which turned out to be true, by the way. After that he didn't say anything else.

While Jesus was talking, the woman stopped crying, but she still wouldn't look up. She was kneeling on the floor behind Jesus with her head down and the empty bottle with its jagged, broken neck lying beside her. Jesus helped her to her feet and walked her to the door. They said some things to each other that no one else heard, then she left.

When he came back, everyone was staring at him. At that moment, I think he could have made everything okay with Judas if he had just said something. He could have twirled his finger in a circle by his temple to show that she was crazy and said, “Too bad we didn't catch her before she broke that bottle. She meant well, but what a waste.”

But he didn't say anything about the woman or what had happened. He just said, “Let's finish our dinner.” And that was that. His hair was glistening with oil, and the smell of it filled the room, but he was eating and acting like nothing important had happened.

To tell you the truth, everyone was okay with it except Judas. But Judas could be that way sometimes. You have to understand that we loved Jesus so much and were so used to him surprising us, that we just trusted him, you know? When you really trust someone like Jesus, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. You don't understand what he does sometimes, but you know there must be a reason for it.

He was a rabbi. What can I say? Strange lessons and making it so you have to trust them is kind of a rabbi thing.

But Judas couldn't let go of it. He kept his head down during the rest of the meal. He got so quiet; I thought it was scarier than when he was yelling. Jesus looked at him once or twice, but never said anything. Then Judas stood up suddenly, tossed the bag of money down on the table, and walked out.

That was the last time any of us ever saw him. Later we found out that he went straight to the High Priest and asked what they would give him to betray Jesus. But like I said, I don't think it was about the money. Judas had issues with money, sure, but money was not what he cared about most.

Judas cared about ideas and principles. He used to say, “What's right is right.” He believed that life divided itself easily into rights and wrongs, and a thing that was wrong could never be right. He believed that.

And he believed in Jesus. Or at least he did until that night. Judas thought Jesus was a man of the people, but when he saw that woman anointing Jesus like he was some kind of king or something...well, I think he felt that Jesus betrayed him.

Which is really ironic, if you think about it.

So he went out and told the High Priest and the others how they could get their hands on Jesus. And that led to the arrest and all the other stuff that I'm sure you know about. I don't think I can talk about any of that, though. I just can't. Too painful.

The rest of us didn't understand what had really happened with Jesus and the woman until a couple of years later. Thomas was the first one to figure it out. We were talking about how it was still funny to us that Jesus took that rich woman's side and how he seemed okay with her wasting all that money.

Thomas said, “I've been thinking a lot about that night, and I remember something that Jesus said. It was back in Galilee, by the sea. He said that he would never sacrifice even one small person on the high altar of principle. And he said we would begin to know God when we understood that people were more important than ideas and principles. You know, it was like that other thing he always said, that the Sabbath was made for people and not the other way around.”

When Thomas said that, it was like a light coming on. We all got it. It took years, but we got it.

On the night the woman anointed Jesus, those of us who were outraged were technically right, but morally wrong, if you can wrap your mind around that idea. Yes, it would have been great to have sold the ointment and used the money to help poor people. That would have been great. Judas was willing to sacrifice a woman on the altar of that noble principle. Jesus wouldn't do that. To him no idea, not even an important idea like helping the poor, was as important as one person.

A lot of people are saying that Jesus bore the sins of the whole world when he died on the cross, and I have come to believe that. I can't exactly explain what that means, but it seems like one of those deep truths that exist beyond our explanations.

It's not hard for me to think of Jesus carrying our sins on his shoulders because I saw him do it all the time. On that night, long ago, I saw him take the one woman's gift on his shoulders and redeem it, making it a holy thing. He took Judas' anger too. He took it away from her and onto himself. He did that even for the rich woman.

Anyway, this is the way we used to do it back in the early days, back before Matthew and Peter's boy, young Mark, wrote some of the stories down. We told the stories of Jesus. And everywhere we went, we always told this one. It's a pretty good story, isn't it? It's also an important story. It's important to remember that Jesus was always carrying our burdens on his shoulders.

He was always redeeming us.

rlp

RLPDV (A Real Live Preacher Dramatized Version)

Matthew and Mark both record the story of the anointing at Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper. Mark says the ointment was worth more than 300 denarii, which was about 300 days wages for a working man. I put that at about $20,000.

Very rich people kept ointment like this for their burial. Her gesture of devotion was an extravagance that bordered on the absurd. I think it is likely that the disciples expected Jesus to support them in their indignant protests. Jesus never cared much for material things. They were probably surprised to see him take her side.

Matthew and Mark also record that Judas left this meal and went straight to the High Priest to betray Jesus. The two events seem connected.

I am indebted to Frederick Dale Bruner, my favorite biblical commentator, for the idea behind this essay. It was Bruner who said that Jesus would not sacrifice even one small woman on the high altar of principle. He also said that the disciples were right in one way and wrong in another.

Bruner's two-volume work on Matthew is the only commentary that regularly brings me to tears.

Matthew, A Commentary, Volume 2 - The Churchbook
by Frederick Dale Bruner

Matthew 26:6-16
Mark 14:3-11

The Smallest Person In All The World

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 11:38:48 -0600

A Dramatized Version of a Bible Story

Jesus, son of Joseph, what would you do if you met the smallest person in the world?

The smallest, Rabbi?

Yes, the person who matters the least. The person with absolutely no power. The smallest person in all the world.

How would I know this person, dear Rabbi?

Indeed, how WOULD you know this person? For when we speak of the smallest person in the world we are speaking of the very mathematics of God. It is only with the reckoning of The Almighty that we are able to make sense of a newborn infant, a fallen sparrow, and a single hair on your head.

And yet, God's math is not known nor can it be found. It can only be received in the instant when it is needed. It exists only in the present moment.

Rabbi, I do not understand.

Young Jesus, you will never understand the mathematics of God until you meet the smallest person in the world and look into her eyes.

The Smallest Woman in the World

In the very important city of Tyre, in the bustling and busy center of the business district, slumped against an earthen wall was the smallest woman in all the world.

No one knew her name, and no one cared for her. She might have been attractive once, but hard living had taken her softness and left leathery skin, dirty feet, and a wet cough in its place.

Her little girl played at her feet. She was six, but had the mind of a two-year-old. Several times a day she would stiffen and shake with a palsy. Her fingers, wrists, and elbows would draw up, and she would stop breathing. Her face would grow red while spittle bubbled at her lips. In these moments, the woman would hold her and cry, praying for the demons to leave her alone. Passers by would point and say, "Demons!" They drew their clothing over their mouths and hurried past, terrified.

During the day the woman would beg, sometimes getting enough to feed them both. Desperation drove shame from her long ago. She did what she had to do to take care of her little girl.

And in the quiet moments of the night, she would look away and remember the man she saw two years before, when her husband, now dead, had taken her to Galilee. There she had seen a miracle worker who was able to cast demons out of children.

They had planned to go back to Galilee and bring their little girl to see Jesus. They had many plans back then, but all that was gone now.

Jesus lived in his world, and she was waiting to die in hers. The smallest woman in the world lived each day waiting for the next day. She waited because all hope was gone, and only the shell of hope, which is waiting, was left in her.

Waiting was all she had.

We're Going Where?

"Tyre and Sidon," he said, like it was nothing, like it was no big thing for good Jewish boys to take a little road trip to the "Twin Cities of Sin."

They all laughed because there was no way he was serious, but he kept packing his stuff, and he kept not saying anything. The laughing got quieter and then died out. The disciples started looking uncomfortable. They made eye contact with each other and tried to communicate with exaggerated facial expressions and ridiculously overdone shoulder shrugs. Several of them caught Peter's eye and indicated with sharp head movements that he should talk to Jesus and find out what the hell was going on.

Peter accepted his appointed role as spokesman without much thought. "Why Tyre and Sidon?" he asked loudly.

Jesus never stopped working. He was shoving supplies into a bag, and he spoke without looking up.

"Why not Tyre and Sidon? They've got good accommodations."

The men in the room burst into laughter again. Maybe Jesus was just joking after all. Someone shouted out, "How would YOU know?" and the laughter got even louder.

"I been there," he said, pulling a rope tight around a bag. He looked up and showed no emotion at all. "I've been there a FEW times."

That silenced everyone. Then Peter put his hand on Jesus' arm and said, "Seriously. Why do we need to go...up there?"

Jesus dropped what he was holding and gave them his full attention.

"Okay guys, here's the deal. I need to get away. Need to get away bad. I need to go somewhere where no one knows me. Understand? I've got a lot of things to tell you, and time is running short. Shorter than you know. It seems like we just get started talking and someone comes running up wanting me to bless a child, or heal their mother-in-law, or something. You know how it is."

"I need time alone just with you. We need to get away and do some serious talking. You don't understand how important our work is, how much is riding on what we do."

"So we're going away. No one will know us, and we can talk in peace. Also I need to rest. Hey, it'll be fun. Trust me."

So Many Gentiles

Tyre blew their minds. It was big, for one thing. Big and worldly. The chaos and confusion of frenetic commerce was everywhere they looked, from the men on the streets to the people barking from behind fruit stands. And there were women on the street corners too, women of the night.

"Listen now, because this is important. I don't want anyone to know who I am. I do not want to cause a scene. I don't want to teach, preach, or heal anyone. You know how the crowds get out of hand."

Thaddeus spoke up. "Why not, though? These people need to know God's love, right?" Thaddeus was like that. Big hearted.

"Yes, Thad, but that is not my calling. I have my instructions. My life is given to the children of our father Israel. It will be for others to bring God's word to the Gentiles."

"Have you guys considered what might happen if I healed someone here? Can you imagine if a crowd of needy people followed us home? Can you see me coming back to Capernaum with a crowd of unclean, leprous, demon-possessed Gentiles straggling after me? No. It is not their time. Let's use our time here to prepare ourselves for what is to come. Keep your heads down and your noses clean."

Jesus cut right through the center of the town. The streets were very crowded, but he walked with confidence, like a man who knew where he was going. The disciples knotted themselves into a little clump and followed right on his heels, safe in his wake.

"Okay, there are SO many Gentiles," Bartholomew said. He was walking with his wrists crossed in front of his chest, moving his shoulders violently to avoid brushing against anyone or anything. "Do you KNOW how unclean we're gonna be?"

Jesus just laughed. He didn't worry if he brushed up against a hundred Gentiles. He was striding through downtown Tyre like it was his own hometown.

"Loosen up guys. We'll be fine. There are Jewish people here. The Diaspora Jews might be a little scary, but they know how to cook. We'll have soup like your mama makes it tonight. And tomorrow I know a quiet place where we can talk."

Thaddaeus heard her first. He was in the back of the group, and he was feeling vulnerable. He was trying to stick close to James and had already stepped on the heel of his sandal twice, pulling it off both times. James was getting a little pissy, so Thaddaeus was looking down, watching where he put his feet when he heard the faintest sound over the noises of the city. It sounded like a woman's voice from far away. It sounded like she shouted, "Jesus."

Thaddaeus stopped and turned around. He scanned the street, but all he saw were people moving fast and in every direction. "Nah," he said, turning back toward his friends who moving away from him fast.

Then he heard it again, this time louder.

"Jesus! Hey Jesus! Jeeee-suuuus!"

The Voice

This time they all heard it. Jesus stopped abruptly, and some of the disciples bumped into him. They turned around and looked down the street, trying to find the voice.

"Jesus, son of David. Have mercy on me. Jesus!"

All their heads snapped to the right a little, and then they saw her, back thirty paces or so, across the road. A ragged looking woman yelling loudly and waving her hand. She was working against the flow of human traffic, trying to cross the road at an angle to catch up with them. It was hard to tell, but it looked like she was dragging a child behind her.

"Keep walking," said Jesus, turning quickly and heading away. She saw them leaving, and her shouts grew louder and more frantic.

"Jesus, stop! Please, come back. Have mercy on me, son of David. Oh please! It's not for me, it's for my baby"

People started paying attention. Following her gestures, a few even pointed at Jesus and the disciples who were obviously trying to get away from her. The street was becoming aware of them, and it made them all uncomfortable.

Peter worked his way up to Jesus.

"Listen man, you gotta do something about this woman. She's starting to make a scene, which is exactly what you didn't want. How does she know you anyway? What does she want?"

Jesus looked pained. "I know what she wants, but I can't give it to her. We can't do our work here. I am only called to work among the children of Israel. I have to follow the rules on this one, Peter. I have to. Everything could be at risk."

"Hey man," said Peter. "You don't have to convince me. I never wanted to come to this God-forsaken place anyway."

The crowds thinned a bit, and Jesus was able to walk more quickly. When she saw that she was loosing them, she cried out one last time. She reached down into her soul and found the ancient sound of sorrow. This sound is the birthright of every mother, and it carries great power. It cannot be faked or easily ignored.

"No, Jesus. Stop!"

The sound of sorrow was her last move and her only hope. She hurled it at Jesus with all her might. Her voice hit him like a fist in the center of his spine.

Jesus halted in his tracks. He stopped and the disciples stopped with him, but they did not turn around.

And then softer, she said, "Please, I call out to you in the name of God, son of David. Please, help my little girl."

Peter grabbed Jesus by the arm. "What are you doing? Why are you stopping?"

Jesus looked at Peter, amazed. "Did you not hear the voice? How could you consider going on?”

He turned to face the woman, now only ten steps behind them. She stood still, panting and watching them. She seemed shocked that they had actually stopped.

Jesus spoke softly to the disciples. "I'm going to tell her the truth. She deserves that much."

"What do you mean, the truth?" asked James.

"I mean the truth. I'm going to tell her exactly why I cannot heal her daughter. I'm going to tell her what our people think of her people. And she's going to hate me. She will absolutely hate me, but hating me is better than her thinking that her daughter isn't worth healing.”

The Eyes

The woman walked to Jesus with her little girl in front of her. Then she knelt before him.

There she was, the sum of all their fears. A gentile. Unclean. Needy. Getting in the way of their very important agenda. A bother. A problem with no easy solution.

"Jesus of Nazareth, I know you. I saw you in Galilee two years ago. I know that you have the power of God. Please, heal my little girl. We don't ask much. My husband is dead, and I am reduced to begging, but that's okay. I can live with that if only you will make her well. She's so little and she doesn't even know how hard her life will... she doesn't understand any of this, but I know what will happen to her, and I..."

She fell silent, then bowed her head and waited.

Jesus paused, and this moment seemed like an eternity. The crowd moved around them, but some curious onlookers stopped to see what was going on.

It was a hard call to make, but it was Jesus' call and he made it. He made the call back when he first heard her, and he wasn't going to back away from his decision now.

"I'm sorry. I truly am sorry, but I cannot do this for you. I know you will not understand, but I cannot take what is meant for God's children, and give it to the dogs."

Peter looked like someone had slapped him. His head jerked around, and he looked at Jesus with anger flashing in his eyes. "No," he hissed through his teeth. Andrew turned away, and several others muttered unintelligible things. Thaddaeus wiped a tear from one eye.

Jesus never took his eyes off the woman. He swallowed hard and waited for her anger.

But her anger never came. Not one hint of anger crossed her face. She was a mother with a sick child. She was beyond anger, beyond reason, and beyond desperation. You could insult her, strike her, spit in her face, and she would only be thinking about how she might get you to help her child. She had reached the place of unselfish love, and that kind of love is the most powerful force in the Universe.

She did not get angry; she got stronger. She rose to her feet with a dignity that stunned them all, even Jesus. She pulled her chin up with pride and looked right into his eyes. And then she had her say.

"I know how you feel about us. I've been to Galilee. That's where I saw you. 'Galilee of the Gentiles,' you call it, but I could tell that people despised me even there."

"You say that you are the chosen people of God. Maybe you are. Maybe compared to you we seem like dogs. I know life isn't exactly great around here, but let me tell YOU something. At least we save a few scraps to feed our puppies under the table, you know? We understand compassion, and maybe compassion is something we could teach you about."

"There you stand, an important Rabbi with a powerful history, but you don't even have scraps for someone like me. I think maybe you should ask yourself just what it means to BE God's chosen people."

Jesus was stunned by her words, and then wonder flooded his face. He bent closer and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

And then he saw it. She had the Rabbi's eyes. Same color, same shape, same gentle honesty. She was not condemning him; she was seeing him and speaking the truth to him.

"Rebbi," he whispered.

The Math of God

At that instant, in a flash of enlightenment, Jesus understood the mathematics of God. In that moment it was given that he should stand outside of time and know a deeper truth. Sometimes one person is worth as much as every person. Sometimes the least is the greatest and the first is the last.

Sometimes one small woman is worth more than the greatest of missions. And maybe, in just the right moment, one person could even carry the sins of all the world.

"I understand," he said to no one in particular.

The math of God filled his soul, and the beauty of it, the unexplainable beauty welled up inside of him, driving a shiver up his spine. A smile burst onto his face. He laughed out loud and put his palm on her cheek.

"Woman, I had no idea. I didn't know such faith existed outside of my own people. I did not know until now. Yes, absolutely. What you want will be done for you."

He bent and held the little girl's head between his hands. He kissed her forehead, holding his lips there for a moment. Her eyes closed, and then he drew back.

When her eyes opened, they were no longer the eyes of a two-year-old child. She had the eyes of the Rabbi, just like her mother, full of intelligence and curiosity.

Jesus took one look at her, smiled, and walked away. The disciples were stunned and trailed after him. They did not know what they had seen.

The smallest woman in all the world held her child, looked into her eyes, and let out a shout. People parted around Jesus as he moved away, then melted back together as he passed through. By the time she looked up, Jesus was gone forever.

No one said anything for a few minutes. They walked in silence. The disciples could tell that something important had happened, but weren't sure what it was, exactly.

It was Jesus who spoke first. "I think we have about a half an hour to get out of town before people start looking for me. Let's go home, whaddya say?"

Several nodded their agreement, but Thaddaeus spoke up. "What about the retreat? What about all those things you said you needed to teach us?"

Jesus laughed and put both hands on Judas' shoulders from behind, leaning on him and letting Judas pull him along for a step or two. Then he let go and punched Peter on the shoulder.

"I think we've learned enough for one day."

rlp

RLPDV (A Real Live Preacher Dramatized Version)

Note: This story occurs in two places in the gospels. Mark's account gives us the clue that Jesus did not want to be recognized. Matthew's account shows Jesus searching his soul and the wonderful interaction with the disciples.
Matthew 15:21-28
Mark 7:24-30

Blessing the Breasts and the Womb

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 14:17:33 -0500

It was the word "breasts" that got everyone's attention. There was a jostling movement in the crowd and a shrill woman's voice coming from somewhere off to the left. Most of what she was saying was unintelligible, but some words stood out.

She was babbling, saying something about breasts and a womb, or something like that. “I Love you Jesus” was in there somewhere too.

Jesus had been talking to a crowd, but he grew quiet as she grew louder. And then he stopped talking altogether.

The crowd parted, and an old woman burst into the opening where Jesus was standing. She stumbled forward and looked around in a confused way. Then she saw Jesus and rushed forward, falling at his feet.

"Jesus! Oh Jesus, it's you. I love you Jesus; you're God's own annointed. You have the words of life. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus."

Jesus filled his mouth with air, held it for a moment, then let it escape in a burst from his lips. His cheeks emptied like two balloons.

"Okay grandmother. I thank you, but..."

Before he could finish she stood and shouted loudly, "Blessed are the beautiful breasts that suckled you, and blessed is the womb that carried you safely to us. Oh, the blessed breasts and womb of your mother.”

With that she sank down again and rocked back and forth, murmuring her little prayer over and over. "Oh the blessed breasts and the womb."

The crowd was stunned by the strange woman and fell silent. Even Jesus didn't know what to say. And then the laughter started near the back. It moved in waves, back and forth until everyone was laughing.

Peter and Thaddaeus lost it and bent over, sniggering behind their hands. Some of the other disciples were biting their lips, and their shoulders were shaking.

Jesus laughed loudly, but only for a moment. He bent over, still smiling, and whispered to the woman who was still rocking back and forth, clinging to his robe. Then he stood and looked at the crowd until everyone was quiet.

"Listen. As honored as I am by the words of love from this good woman, hear me now. Blessings do not come from adoring ME. Blessings come to those who hear the words of God and live by them."

"It is the way you LIVE YOUR LIFE that brings blessings or curses upon you. It is the way you live that matters. If you really love me, then follow me, and live well."

Later, as the crowd melted away, the disciples were gathering their things and making plans for supper. Peter noticed Jesus looking back at the old woman who had fallen asleep in the shade of a tree and was beginning to snore softly. He walked over and they both watched her for a few moments.

Peter chuckled and said, "Woman's out of her mind. It WAS funny, though. Oh well, whaddya wanna eat?" He turned to walk away.

Jesus didn't move. He spoke to Peter but kept his eyes on the woman. “You know, that scared me. She's a sweet woman, but that's not good. That kinda shit can get WAY out of hand, you know what I mean?”

Peter turned and looked at the woman again. “Well, okay, but you told em. They understand what you're about. Don't worry about it. Let's go eat.”

He tugged on Jesus' elbow and the two of them started walking toward the disciples, but Jesus kept his head turned, staring at the woman as they walked away.

And he seemed very preoccupied for the rest of the evening.

RLPDV - (Real Live Preacher Dramatized Version)

Luke 11:27-28:
"While he was saying this, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, "Blessed is the womb that bore you and the breasts that nursed you!" But he said, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it!"