Submitted by rlp on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 13:55.
“Did you ever used to go to church? Like a long time ago, Dad?” The neighboring Williams family took turns with the van Veen family, picking me up Sunday mornings for the drive into town and services.
“Yeah, we went. Your grandmother had us go every Sunday, after milking was done. That was important to her.”
I kept my eyes on his dark strands of hair running through my fingers.
“But it’s not important to you now?” The words, barely whispered, hung.
He pushed up his plaid sleeves, shifted his head, his eyes still closed. “Oh….”
I waited, hands combing, waiting for him to find the words for those feelings that don’t fit neatly into the stiff ties, the starched collars, of sentences.
“No, I guess not anymore. The day Aimee died, I was done with all of that.”...
And even long after I personally said yes to God, I still lived no, developing macular holes on the retina of my soul. Blind spots, missing God present and giving.
This is one of the best things I've read this year. Such a gutsy and honest look at a family history and the spiritual/emotional scars of loss. RLP
Read the rest: Ann Voskamp at Holy Experience.
NOTE: Ann doesn't have comments enabled. I've encouraged her to consider that. But perhaps she is shy in this way. She's a writer first. If you want to leave her a comment, feel free to leave one here.
