Essays
RIP RLP
i think i killed real live preacher
i didnt mean to i thought resigning as the pastor of covenant baptist church would be its own thing i thought it would remove something from my life that had become
hard
heavy
too much
i thought i could just cut that loose and then i would be free to give real live preacher more time and attention like he always wanted and begged for he always...
Falling into Open Arms
In my first post as Pilgrim, I mentioned that I used to be a pastor. I wouldn’t say that I have left the ministry, since all Christians are supposed to serve Christ in some way. I guess I would say that in February of 2010 I discovered that being a pastor is no longer what I am called to do and be.
I haven’t exactly settled on what kind of ministry I will do in the future. I haven’t even found a church to join yet. And it’s not that I haven’t tried. I go to church almost every Sunday. But I’m still in a state of confusion.
I walk into a church and feel rather lost. I see people rushing around, preparing things before worship starts. I know they are church insiders, because I used to be a church insider. I shuffle down a row and sink into a pew. I used to plan worship and be a part of making it happen on Sundays, but now I hardly understand what’s going on. It seems so incredibly busy. And I worry a bit about the ones in charge. I hope their souls have remained tender and open...
What a Fool Believes
Foy Davis driving up highway 1 north of Los Angeles in a red Mustang convertible. His left hand is on the steering wheel and his right hand is holding a half-eaten In-N-Out Burger. On the passenger side floor is a cooler filled with Diet Cokes. On the seat beside him is a computer and a bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. He’s listening to the Doobie Brothers Greatest Hits CD and has it turned up loud. A range of steep hills are on the right; the Pacific Ocean is on the left.
He sees a hitchhiker on the right side of the road. As he passes the man, they make eye contact. Foy turns his head, watching the hitchhiker until he is looking at him over the back seat. He looks forward to check the road and then into the rear view mirror. The man is still watching Foy’s car.
“Holy shit, that guy looks just like me.”
A Closer Look (Pilgrim Post at Laity Lodge)
Do you have the perseverance to find something unique in one leaf, pulled from a tree full of leaves that any reasonable person would say are identical?
Or did you want to be a reasonable person?
Babette's Feast Meets Animal House
And now I’m at this retreat listening to Cliff and Christine Warner talk about their family with its wonderful Sabbath tradition of sharing carefully planned meals with their children and how they like to invite friends over for nutritious, locally grown, beautifully prepared meals that feed both body and soul. They seem to be living Babette’s Feast while my life looks like the cafeteria scene from Animal House...
Babette's Feast Meets Animal House
And now I’m at this retreat listening to Cliff and Christine Warner talk about their family with its wonderful Sabbath tradition of sharing carefully planned meals with their children and how they like to invite friends over for nutritious, locally grown, beautifully prepared meals that feed both body and soul. They seem to be living Babette’s Feast while my life looks like the cafeteria scene from Animal House...
The Laity Lodge Caganer
Wherein I tell the story of finding a mouse turd on the communion table. (Reworked from an essay I published some years ago)
It was at a retreat back in 2008. I was in the Great Hall helping with preparations for the communion service on Sunday morning. Communion is always served on a beautiful antique table. I was about to set out the wine and bread when I noticed a single mouse dropping right in the center of the table...
Read the rest of the essay here.
gordon
My Secret Hideout
A full retreat at Laity Lodge is 60 people. That’s about all that can fit into the dining room. They could have expanded the accommodations to make room for more, but they never did. It would ruin the feel of the place. I think that’s why this retreat center is beloved by introverts. There’s plenty of space.
Still, even in this introvert’s paradise, you may find yourself craving a deeper solitude. If you do, I recommend a secret hideout. I have one. I’ve never told anyone about it, but if you’ll agree that I get first dibs if we’re ever at a retreat together, I’ll tell you where it is....
Last Sermon
Though I have no plans to write in this space as Real Live Preacher, while I'm deciding what's next for me, I will post links to other writing that I'm doing.
I have an essay at the High Calling Blog Network today about why I needed to stop preaching and about the last sermon I preached.
Stay-at-home Daddy
In 1989 my wife and I arrived in San Antonio, fresh out of seminary, where we graduated together with identical degrees. We came because Jeanene had been hired as a chaplain in the Baptist Health Care System. I was making plans to pursue further education and had some time to spare, so we decided I would stay home and care for our first child, Reiley, who was then 6 months old.
Click here to read the rest of this essay at the High Calling Network.
All of my books are for sale though me. I've not had the energy or inclination to send them to Amazon or any other place.
Click here for purchase links at my new blog.